OLD VERSION:
Is My Child Becoming Homosexual?
Before puberty, children aren't normally heterosexual or homosexual. They're definitely gender conscious. But young children are not sexual beings yet — unless something sexual in nature has interrupted their developmental phases.
Still, it's not uncommon for children to experience gender confusion during the elementary school years. Dr. Joseph Nicolosi reports, "In one study of 60 effeminate boys ages 4 to 11, 98 percent of them engaged in cross-dressing, and 83 percent said they wished they had been born a girl."
Evidences of gender confusion or doubt in boys ages 5 to 11 may include:
1. A strong feeling that they are "different" from other boys.
2. A tendency to cry easily, be less athletic, and dislike the roughhousing that other boys enjoy.
3. A persistent preference to play female roles in make-believe play.
4. A strong preference to spend time in the company of girls and participate in their games and other pastimes.
5. A susceptibility to be bullied by other boys, who may tease them unmercifully and call them "queer," "fag" and "gay."
6. A tendency to walk, talk, dress and even "think" effeminately.
7. A repeatedly stated desire to be — or insistence that he is — a girl.
If your child is experiencing several signs of gender confusion, professional help is available. It's best to seek that help before your child reaches puberty.
"By the time the adolescent hormones kick in during early adolescence, a full-blown gender identity crisis threatens to overwhelm the teenager," warns psychologist Dr. James Dobson. To compound the problem, many of these teens experience "great waves of guilt accompanied by secret fears of divine retribution."
If your child has already reached puberty, change is difficult, but it's not too late.
NEW VERSION:
Talking About Sex and Sexuality to Your Adolescent
Parents may cringe at the thought, but there's no denying that adolescence is a time of sexual awakening. Young people's bodies — and accordingly, their thoughts and emotions — begin to change.
Sexual curiosity is high, particularly for boys. Girls — especially those with low self esteem — may fall prey to the almost inevitable, sudden increase in male attention.
Parents should talk to their children about sexual behavior before this point, as young people who develop healthy self-esteem early in life are typically better able to navigate the rough waters of adolescence.
So don't panic or shy away from your developing teen. They need you to get a grip on your own fears and discomfort so you can focus on helping them anticipate and learn how to address what's around the corner in their life . . . emotionally, physically, spiritually and relationally.