To Say Nothing of John Edwards' More Humane Stance on Dog Transportation

03/28/2008 02:44 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Back in April, Eat The Press did its utmost to make sense of whatever it was Maureen Dowd thought she was saying about John Edwards and his now infamous $400 haircut. It's really difficult to see how exactly John Edwards' staggering personal wealth is in any way distinct from the staggering personal wealth of any of the other serious contenders for President, and it's even harder to discern why media figures like Dowd found it necessary to manufacture such a significant amount of outrage over his coiffure. One suspects that it partly stems from what Matt Taibbi called the "Sweet 'n' Blow." Darkly, we wonder if Edwards' positioning as a self-styled* advocate for poverty issues requires him to wear sackcloth and ashes at every public appearance in order for folks like MoDo to feel like he's "keepin' it real."

Still, back then, Dowd did her best to defame Edwards specifically, leading with this wholly unsubstantiated claim: "Whether or not the country is ready to elect a woman president or a black president, it's definitely not ready for a metrosexual in chief." Dowd presented her father--an aficionado, it would seem, of the fifty-cent haircut--as more in keeping with the image of the Iconic Middle-Class American. It's uncertain what, if anything, Dowd meant to say about contemporary American politics by bringing her father into the discussion--we're left to assume that if only we could appreciate her father's quintessential nature, we'd understand why John Edwards' haircut belies some sort of fundamental hypocrisy.

Why bring all this up again? Well, it seems that we have new news on the presidential candidates-as-metrosexual front, namely, Mitt Romney and his $300 line item for makeup consulting. I don't think it's such a stretch to say that shelling out that kind of scratch for "a mobile beauty team for hair, makeup and men's grooming and spa services" falls fully within the province of "vanity," "metrosexuality," and "something only someone impossibly freaking rich could afford to have."

So, let's have it, Maureen. What do you and your memories of your father's tonsorial challenges have to say about Mr. Romney's expenses?

*Ed.--Or styled by the fine folks at the Pink Sapphire.