The Happiness Gap: Why Women Are Lagging Behind

The New York Times   |  David Leonhardt   |   September 26, 2007 09:14 AM


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Last year, a team of researchers added a novel twist to something known as a time-use survey. Instead of simply asking people what they had done over the course of their day, as pollsters have been doing since the 1960s, the researchers also asked how people felt during each activity. Were they happy? Interested? Tired? Stressed?

Not surprisingly, men and women often gave similar answers about what they liked to do (hanging out with friends) and didn't like (paying bills). But there were also a number of activities that produced very different reactions from the two sexes -- and one of them really stands out: Men apparently enjoy being with their parents, while women find time with their mom and dad to be slightly less pleasant than doing laundry.

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- OtayPanky I'm a Fan of OtayPanky 74 fans permalink
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In case you hadn't noticed, the LIVING and ENTERTAINMENT sections of PuffHo are distinctly targeted towards a female demographic.

And, brilliantly, they publish one blogolicious nugget after another that is GUARANTEED to make an unhappy woman even unhappier: Stir up an ever-widening circle of desires that are truly impossible to fulfill fully...and then make it seem otherwise.

Brilliant!!!

This is the exact same strategy used by all the women's rags: Vogue, Cosmo, Marie Claire, Redbook, etc.

Brilliant!!!

What a public service this is. It certainly provides me with a hobby. Thank you, PuffHo, so very much.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 03:47 PM on 09/28/2007
- dadw5boys I'm a Fan of dadw5boys 281 fans permalink
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98% OF ALL ADVERTIZING IS AIMED AT WOMEN!
Original because women did the household shopping. That is what they taught in college.
Advertizer have got your number ladies, they know what makes you buy.
Turn off the advertizers and see if your life gets better!
Businesses also love conflict and promote it.
Like marriage problem.
There is PROFIT IN CONFLICT.
Divorces means Businesse now have 2 households to sell products too.
Divorce also means some screwed up kids and parents who spend money just to try and keep the kids happy, on a new partner, and for more weddings.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:58 PM on 09/27/2007

Women are pissed because men are getting us into these fucking WARS!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:19 AM on 09/27/2007
- dadw5boys I'm a Fan of dadw5boys 281 fans permalink
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They should be pissed.
How many good men have been killed of so people can make a profit from war?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:44 PM on 09/27/2007

I think that more women should take up welding
and other trades. Creating something, building
something, repairing something, maybe even
inventing something can be a rewarding and
fun experience. Also, take time to actually
sit down, find out what makes YOU happy, and
don't just live the Cosmo life. No one gets
out alive, whether or not you have any fun
while you're here is up to you...

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:16 AM on 09/27/2007
- jojojo I'm a Fan of jojojo 10 fans permalink

I'm not surprised.

As men and women have traded/added some of one another's traditional roles, it makes sense that men have become more happy, women less happy.

Men's traditional roles of needing to bring home the bacon whether they like it or not was no picnic, nor was the "boys don't cry" imperative--both forced on men/boys by our culture, including their mothers and wives--despite the rhetoric to the contrary. As women have entered what used to be men's roles/jobs, they've added more heart disease, smoking, etc, and men are closing the gap in longevity.

Ladies, welcome to the ( so-called) privileged "man's world"!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:29 AM on 09/27/2007
- Kalima I'm a Fan of Kalima 74 fans permalink
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Utter nonsense!
In my family,I'm the one who has to remind
my husband when his mother's birthday is,
year after year.
Come to think of it,after 36 years together,
I have have to remember his shit and my own
too.
Thank God for Post-its!!!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:48 AM on 09/27/2007
- dadw5boys I'm a Fan of dadw5boys 281 fans permalink
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Well stop remembering his!
I bet when you were first married you took on his stuff because you wanted too. You have created a monster you don't like?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:46 PM on 09/27/2007
- Kalima I'm a Fan of Kalima 74 fans permalink
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You are spot on.
I should have listened to my friends,who
told me I would regret it later.
Too late to change it now.
Getting older every day.
A monster? Sometimes.
Still,he's my forgetful monster.
You reap what you sow.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:13 PM on 09/27/2007
- rwe I'm a Fan of rwe 21 fans permalink

Also ...More women are Liberals ....More men conservative................Come on , objectively look thru the threads here and compare the hatred, vitriol ,obscenities the BLOG RAGE if yu will and compare to what the way most opposing opinions are articulated. Exclude for the moment your blind hatred for right wing talk, Fox, and President Bush. Everything liberal spews the race card , white male bashing et al and more women than not are liberal , thus more woman are unhappier than men.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:23 AM on 09/27/2007
- peanut I'm a Fan of peanut 7 fans permalink
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What utter garbage! Your take is that women are unhappy because they are Liberal? LOL If you actually read the article you know that the findings indicate a change from several years ago at which time women were found to be happier than men. The decade of the 60's were the age of the truly Liberal woman! A time when women spoke their piece and changed the concept of that a woman's role was in society and in the family. It was about choices and removing limitations to those choices.
Woman may be unhappy because they are now fielding more of the responsibilities, both at home and in the workplace. They need to take a step back and rearrange their priorities. Living in a constant state of stress is the road to an unhealthy future ( or a shorter future).
Plus more women are liberal is their social thinking and often this translates to their politcs. While I am fiscally conservative and moderate on many other issues, I am liberal when it comes to the issues of race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, and personal rights....abortion, first and second amendment rights. I believe in the individual and I also never forget that not all individual are as blessed intellectual or educationally as I am. I,like many women, cared about others...it is part of the female nourishing character.
As for the hatred you speak about....for me it doesn't exist. I don't waste my time "hating!" Whether it be Fox news, right wing talk or Bush. I simply ignore them. They originated the hate...starting with Bill Clinton. Confrontation has never been my thing! I won't even watch and listen to it on the tube...... People like you don't understand that individuals can have differing opinions without discord. Everyone has different life experiences. No rwe, you are the one with the rage. Deal with it and maybe stay away from Huffington Post where you obviously feel uncomfortable. Most of us don't share your opinions.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:48 AM on 09/27/2007
- Defyant I'm a Fan of Defyant 16 fans permalink

rwe, this post is a reflection of your agenda, and has no basis on objective reality.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:34 AM on 09/27/2007

Who is the happiest? It is the person who values the merits of others, and in their pleasure takes joy, as though it were his own.






--

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 06:09 AM on 09/27/2007

These studies turn a complex human issue into something without any nuance; something divisive (or is it just that commenters here on HuffPo only see black or white) People need to stop caring so much about what "society" thinks. Happiness lies in being yourself and not being a sheep/zombie. Women who really believe they can only be happy through external and material goals are seriously mistaken. Men too for that matter. I'm not perfect, but I am VERY HAPPY. (It comes from the inside you know?) Put two happy people together, you get a happy marriage (and happy kids!)

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:41 AM on 09/27/2007
- prochange I'm a Fan of prochange 3 fans permalink

It is not so surprising to me that women are not so happy.
First, we are paid less than men are but everything for women is more expensive.
Clothes, hairdresser, dry cleaning, cosmetics, shoes, underwear, health insurance, etc. Usually we pay more for repairs and services because men take advantage of us.

The problem obviously is that women believe all that crap the advertising agencies tell them from morning to night. They are not slim enough, their hair is not shiny enough, their skin not even enough, their teeth not white enough, their breasts not big enough, their waistline not tiny enough. Their behind is too big, they smell in intimate places, they are told that their body hair is ugly and they are prone to depressions and mood swings.
Consequently women run around in dangerous and uncomfortable shoes and clothing. They spend hours on their appearance while usually working more hours than men do. They try to be sexy for men, who in return do not even bother to care how to satisfy a woman.

Every four weeks women have to endure periods. We have to take time out of the workforce to have children in the most productive time of our lives. We are usually the one being stuck to care for children and elderly parents.

Because we are physically not so strong, we get raped and beaten by men with personality problems.

Men have very successfully told women that they should be like men, but the moment they are as successful as men they are put down and ridiculed.
Even gay men have nothing better to do than to tell women how they should look like and what to wear, how to furnish their homes etc.

It is depressing.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:40 AM on 09/27/2007
- priorzola I'm a Fan of priorzola 3 fans permalink

You're right to suggest the main objective of advertisers is to convince people to hate themselves; to show them that they have a less-than-perfect life and only such-and-such product can bring them the happiness they deserve.

Unfortunately, for women that happiness, for the most part, is supposed to be linked to the amount of attention they get from their looks. In order to effectively con women into this belief system, advertisers have to promote the one attribute that goes against the very nature of existence, preserving youth at all costs. For a women, preserving youthfulness equals success and, it follows, priding youthful women is the main tactic of the media. Spend one hour watching television paying close attention to the difference between how women and men are marketed to and you'll see what I'm getting at. There's a reason why we pay far too much attention to the antics of the likes of Paris, Britney, and Lindsay instead of their male counterparts. Not only are self-deluded women like them the best consumers (because they believe the can purchase happiness as easily as they buy a new dress and a pair of Manolos), but this trend also convinces older women, who would do better to spend their money on investments and entrepreneurial pursuits, to plop down their hard-earned money on self-help books and plastic surgery. The day this country cares more about what Hillary Clinton, Indra Nooyi, and Angela Merkel instead of the ditz trifecta above is the day when women can begin to their happiness to their own accomplishments.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 03:39 AM on 09/27/2007
- priorzola I'm a Fan of priorzola 3 fans permalink

At the same time, I've always thought the amount of "happiness" one claims to possess is inversely related to the number of realities individuals are exposed to. Meaning, the more aware of the world and all it's convoluted connoctations the less likely, in general, a person is to declare absolute satisfaction with one's own life.

For example, if someone has lived their entire lives in the same town and exposed themselves to a very few value systems, than the easier it is for someone to compare their lives to having or not having measured up and can thus decide whether they have attained happiness or not. However, the more realities and the greater exchange of ideas one comes across (some of whcih blatantly contradict one another) the more difficult it is to judge whether or not a sense of contentment has been achieved.

There was another study on happiness that showed that Americans on whole were at their peak of happiness (according to polls) around 1957. This was after the whirlwind that was WWII had died down but just as Americans had to start learning about places like Selma, Alabama, and then somewhere called Vietnam, and before we knew it, the moon. Now are mind's eye doesn't just live in our little cul-de-sacs we grew up in but is projected to the other side of the country, and the world, and even universe.

We begin to realize that there are other value systems than our own that are neither right or wrong, just different. What follows are ambiguous notions of our own success and happiness. Men, by working outside the home, being sent to foreign lands to fight, and encouraged to contemplate world events, have been exposed to this notion of multiple realities longer so they have adjusted accordingly. Women are new to it. Many have yet to learn to accept that there are more ways to achieve happiness than are found in the pages of Cosmo.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:18 AM on 09/27/2007
- prochange I'm a Fan of prochange 3 fans permalink

Angela Merkel is now the most powerful woman in the world. This scientist, turned politician, is completely disinterested in clothes or hairdo.

She strikes me as a woman happy with her life and achievements.

But in the U.S. women like her only get into the news when Bush has the audacity to give her a backrub, something he would never do to any of the male head of states.

I agree that women should concentrate more on investments and entrepreneurial pursuits, after all following the statistics, more and more people are single in our society today and women still end up at the financial worse end in a divorce.

One of the most ridiculous waste of money are these expensive weddings, every woman seems to dream of. If they would invest that money the financial future of that marriage would be on more secure feet.

Unfortunately the obsession to look as young as possible is driven also by older women in the media like Oprah, Diane Sawyer or Barbara Walters to name just a few. With the enormous amount of money they have behind them they succeed to look much younger than they are and their camera people know how to soften their looks. The other day Diane Sawyer showed some pictures on her morning show of her meeting with some girlfriends of her she had known all her life. The girlfriends all looked like sixty-plus women and Diane looked completely out of place.

What is wrong with white hair and wrinkles? If a Robert Redford is still considered good-looking with his lined face women can too.

The other day I saw an advertisementin the movie theatre of a bunch of naked elder women. I think it was for Nivea, but I am not quite sure. I just thought that they all looked great.

Women are stupid to try to look decades younger, it is too much work and too much money and it never works. On the contrary most of them look ridiculous because they do not have the advantage of airbrushing and soft-colored lenses.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:22 PM on 09/27/2007
- ipitombi I'm a Fan of ipitombi 3 fans permalink

Women... you can't live with them, and if you do, they are unhappy. A woman's head takes in so much bullshit it's unbelievable. The problem is their filtering system is defective. That is why women are easier prey for smooth talkers, charlatan preachers, nutty psychiatrists, etc. You are bound to be unhappy if you accept every BS the world throws your way.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:30 AM on 09/27/2007
- Defyant I'm a Fan of Defyant 16 fans permalink

ipitombi You mean like the bullshit in your post.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:36 AM on 09/27/2007
- grainger5 I'm a Fan of grainger5 5 fans permalink

It's 2007. Women are able to make as much as men. They're able to procreate without men. And they can get sex anytime they want.

The problem then lies with how the woman views herself. If she believes what the world says about her abilities, then she's stuck.

It's time for a New Women's Liberation Movement. Not just for Feminists and Lesbians, but for all women.

If you're a women (and who isn't) the first thing you must do, is send Dr. Grainger $5.95 for an informative audio tape that will enrich your life and expand your mind with endless (female) possibilities.

Disclaimer: Dr. Grainger is not an actual doctor, and no advice dispensed shall be deemed medical advice. Consumer shall be responsible for any harm to their pysche, or any reduction in their organ donation card status. In the event a snow job was not detected, a separate fee for shipping and handling will be incurred on the first of the month, every month following the successfull delivery of said audio tape, and continuing for 200 years, or until Dr. Grainger moves to a more suitable location.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:47 PM on 09/26/2007
- Hattie I'm a Fan of Hattie 7 fans permalink

These posts really are a laugh and a half. Now back to work, everyone.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:23 PM on 09/26/2007
- Joeseo I'm a Fan of Joeseo 3 fans permalink

ROFL!!!! damn straight Hattie.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:49 AM on 09/27/2007
- qofdisks I'm a Fan of qofdisks 11 fans permalink

PS yes...I STILL have to tell hubby to throw the trash every time.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:31 PM on 09/26/2007
- qofdisks I'm a Fan of qofdisks 11 fans permalink

Actually women are exhausted.
I lost my job 4 years ago and decided to be a stay at home mom and go to school part-time.
I have very difficult homework in math and physics daily.
I rise at 5:30am to study until 6:30 am
Fix the boys ( hubby and son) lunches and feed all the animals.
Get the boy's breakfast together and get their clothes out for the day. then I take my boy to school.
I get home and get myself together and have my egg.
Go to class. Study and get help with HW and then have a minuscule lunch.
Go to the gym.
Get home to meet the boy at the bus stop and feed him snack. I get a fruit.
Afternoons are "free" for grocery shopping, paying bills, laundry and "visiting" elderly parents. By 4:30-5:00pm I clean the kitchen and get dinner on the table by 6:00pm. Then, I wash up, throw the boy in the bath, wash him and then we do his HW. He and his dad wrestle until 9:00pm bed for the boy while I settle in to study until midnight.
I never dust.
My husband gets up at 7:00am gets dressed, grabs his lunch and goes to work. When he gets home after a hard day at work, he watches TV, plays video games and wrestles with the boy.
I am responsible for all play dates celebrations and upholding traditions, parental duties at school and Dr. and vet appts. for all. I tend everyone when sick staying up the night running out for medicine. I do the taxes. I also have the elderly parents that need help shopping, going to Dr. appts. paying bills and yes doing their taxes.
The hubby doesn't make enough for us to live and soon I will have to go to work!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:29 PM on 09/26/2007
- Doug I'm a Fan of Doug 13 fans permalink

And he has to listen to you talk about it. Trust me, he's got it worse.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:37 PM on 09/26/2007
- OneWoman I'm a Fan of OneWoman 6 fans permalink

You're such a pig; and you revel in it too.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:25 PM on 09/26/2007
- mommadona I'm a Fan of mommadona 177 fans permalink
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Star in heaven, dear.
And a pat on the back
"Been There, Done That".

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:33 PM on 09/26/2007
- grainger5 I'm a Fan of grainger5 5 fans permalink

Doctor Grainger says:

Honey, unless you get to talking with your husband, your life will be that miserable. If yall can just give it a try, you'd be surprised how he will respond.

But if you don't, chances are by the time Jeb Bush is sworn in, you and your husband are gonna be divorced.

Don't let that happen, babydoll. Give peace a chance.

God is Love.

Dr. Grainger

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:34 PM on 09/26/2007

The hubby doesn't make enough, time to toss him out make him buy me new tits and I'll get me the man I deserve.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:04 PM on 09/26/2007

Kick his ass off the couch. Better yet kick him out of the house!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:40 AM on 09/27/2007
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