The Happiness Gap: Why Women Are Lagging Behind

The New York Times   |  David Leonhardt   |   September 26, 2007 09:14 AM


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Last year, a team of researchers added a novel twist to something known as a time-use survey. Instead of simply asking people what they had done over the course of their day, as pollsters have been doing since the 1960s, the researchers also asked how people felt during each activity. Were they happy? Interested? Tired? Stressed?

Not surprisingly, men and women often gave similar answers about what they liked to do (hanging out with friends) and didn't like (paying bills). But there were also a number of activities that produced very different reactions from the two sexes -- and one of them really stands out: Men apparently enjoy being with their parents, while women find time with their mom and dad to be slightly less pleasant than doing laundry.

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- yappnmutt I'm a Fan of yappnmutt 74 fans permalink

i have busted the chops of every psuedo feminist i have met in my life with the line, "go to work, i'll stay home to cook and do laundry." it turns out we men have taken our responsibility too seriously. if women wanted to "have meaning in their lives" we should have volunteered to take care of the homefront and kids and gone fishing, to ballgames, restoring cars, building stuff, filling the garage full of tools, the basement full of electronics and make a mean cheese casserrole and still be fresh and showered for a little candle light hokey pokey. lol, too effing funny. instead we've ended up with the most masculine women in the world and the most feminine men and we still have to work our asses off.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:59 PM on 09/26/2007
- atombee I'm a Fan of atombee 2 fans permalink
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Well, they've been fed ridiculous feminist bullshit for forty years. They've tried to trade all their majestic power and mystery for job titles and money. A bunch of pissed-off ugly women have demonized straight men in the same period, and for some reason, women have bought into it. In the larger cities, they are at work, surrounded by gay men, who love them. Unfortunately, gay men love women a little less than they love their new place settings. I did a comic strip about this very issue just a week or two ago at: http://www.sunpopblue.com/Comix/The-Most-Beautiful-Day-In-The-World-Salutes-40-Years-of-Progressive-Feminist-Dogma.html
Somehow it always turns out that straight white men are the source of the problems. That means we are also the solution. That means you have made US your higher power. And that is stupid.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:06 PM on 09/26/2007

I am a woman. You GOT it babe! Now if women would finally get it as well, we might have a solution. Not that I have not worked and put the hubby through school, but after that experience I just knew that having it all (the work and responsibilities) was too much for little ol' me. And I have noticed as well that there are so many gay men, everywhere. I have wondered, out loud, if there are still any straight ones left - to give me some grandchildren, and great grandchildren. I like a big family. And gay men do not love women, where do you get that? Many of the gay men are so pretty, though ;).

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:55 AM on 09/27/2007

Wait a minute, do you mean to tell me that women were happier when they stayed home and sent the men off to work?

WHO COULDA GUESSED???

http://www.newsprism.com

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:53 PM on 09/26/2007

and remember, it's MEN that are sexist. Just as only Whites can be racist.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:19 PM on 09/26/2007
- Doug I'm a Fan of Doug 13 fans permalink

I hope you are being sarcastic.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:35 PM on 09/26/2007

Gee, I was wondering how long it would take for this to turn into another edition of "Men Bad, Women Good."

To paraphrase Bill Maher, "Women must stop complaining about men until they start showing better taste in them."

O.J. has a girlfriend, and I don't. Go figure.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 06:50 PM on 09/26/2007

WHAT DOES THE PICTURE OF TOM AND KATE HAVE DO DO WITH THIS STORY ???THIS HUFFINGTON POST IS REALLY OUT THERE WITH BAIT AND SWITCH??//

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 06:03 PM on 09/26/2007

The only possible explanation for the use of that photo is to illustrate that all the women who have been married to Tom Cruise have been terribly unhappy with him.

Hopefully, her parents will rescue her from this nutcase and she can live a happier future with someone else.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:07 PM on 09/26/2007

Not to worry. In ten years poor Kate will be traded in for a younger model and Tom will be jumping on furniture again.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:46 AM on 09/27/2007

Yeah, her parents?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:57 AM on 09/27/2007
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Evolution will take over so fast that there will be no more sex organs on babies.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 05:49 PM on 09/26/2007
- pompous I'm a Fan of pompous 6 fans permalink

As a woman I am so sick of women loading up on self help books trying to figure out how to be sexy, enjoy sex, be a better person and happy. This only makes the authors rich and you poor. Memo to all fellow women stop caring so much and life is not about waking up every single day happy. Live your lives the way you want and make the best of what you have. Trust me everyone else is in the same boat - they are trying to figure out how it all works.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 05:28 PM on 09/26/2007
- hootie1fan I'm a Fan of hootie1fan 13 fans permalink

The cynic in me thinks that most women believe that they will spend at least part of their adult life being solely responsible for their children.

Men, either by choice or default, have few responsibilities these days.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:41 PM on 09/26/2007
- Doug I'm a Fan of Doug 13 fans permalink

How is this a problem?

Women if you are doing too much of work for the household don't be in a relationship where you live with the person.

If you don't like your end of the deal, quit.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:36 PM on 09/26/2007
- Doug I'm a Fan of Doug 13 fans permalink

typo : ....Women if you are doing too much of the housework don't ....

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:38 PM on 09/26/2007
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This is analogous to the headlines on the rags at the checkout stand at the supermarket. Get serious Huffpo

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:01 PM on 09/26/2007
- BeerHolder I'm a Fan of BeerHolder 17 fans permalink

You can't marry a jerk and be happy. I see so many beautiful women marry the biggest idiots and then spend years in misery.

Lesson: Choose wisely or stay single.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:15 PM on 09/26/2007

Well, this works real well for Redbook Magazine, or one of those really useful publications. They have now extensive articles on how to do it, and even websites to find all that out as well. Funny, we older women just knew all that instinctively. Huffpo might want to imitate the sex teaching website; should bring a lot of ads, which pay very well.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:01 AM on 09/27/2007

My wife is very happy, gets up sing gos to bed the same way. She happy to have me and I'm happy to have her. We spend our days together. She is the best I'm very lucky.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:09 PM on 09/26/2007
- dadw5boys I'm a Fan of dadw5boys 281 fans permalink
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I belive most women are not happy because they spend so much time TRYING TO IMPRESS WOTHER WOMEN.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:46 PM on 09/26/2007

women are less happy than men because
society ,which favors men and always will,insists on demanding women be everything­.Young,ric­h,yet submissive and serving.No­t all men are like this,but girls should be taught early on to not depend on men for anything..­to be self sufficient and self-determined first..the­n..a mother,then a wife if she so chooses.Th­is is the key to her future happiness.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 05:24 PM on 09/26/2007

You obviously don't know too many women. Nice try though.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:08 PM on 09/26/2007
- Lucille I'm a Fan of Lucille 34 fans permalink
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Well I hope that's true for your wife's sake.

Women are not as happy now as they were in the 1960s because we burden ourselves with more things to accomplish but we don't have the time to do it all, and we are exhausted.

The reason the survey found many women would rather do laundry then visit their parents is that it turns into work. Depending on how old their parents are they have to: do their parent's laundry; cook their dinner; or take them to their doctor's appointments; fuss with their caregivers (if their lucky enough to have any); spend time on the telephone with insurance carriers; the Social Security office; the Medicare office; or their pension provider; they have to go to the bank for their parents; make deposits and withdrawals for their parents; take them shopping. Then when they return home these women have to do the same thing for their own families, who don't have a whiff of sympathy for their plight.

Exhaustion and the lack of appreciation is one of the major reasons that many divorced women never re-marry. As you know single women for the first time in this country is over 50%. Many of these women don't want to go from one set of responsibilities to another. Many women are judged as selfish for not wanting to go that route again if, at all.

But they are not being selfish, rather it's called self-preservation.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:15 PM on 09/26/2007

And if you marry an only child, you will be taking care of his parents too. Speaking from experience, make sure you marry a man with a sister.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:53 AM on 09/27/2007

Yeah, but you can never be sure, Joey. There has been a book, titled *I know why the caged bird sings* ;).

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:02 AM on 09/27/2007
    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:30 AM on 09/26/2007

umm women are subjugated in scientolog­y..i hope thats the point youre making in posting its handbook.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 05:25 PM on 09/26/2007
- baylaw73 I'm a Fan of baylaw73 27 fans permalink

Can we please ban "religious" spam. Please.

http://www.scientology-kills.org/

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:39 AM on 09/27/2007
- mommadona I'm a Fan of mommadona 167 fans permalink
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Well......­DUH.
Men live in an illusion
Ego-centric.
All thoughts come from
the "I".

Women pick up the mess
Arrange the meals
Restock the shelves
All thoughts come from
the "We".

DUH....rub­ber meet road.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:16 AM on 09/26/2007

Mommadona, there is no "I" in TEAM, but there sure is a "U" in STUPID.

Some man really, really hurt you, no? If he's still in your life, why not leave? If not, why not move on and quit generalizing everybody to meet your narrow views that seem to make you so bitter at every mention of men. Or, are you really just a man with a "bait-and-switch" ID?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:46 AM on 09/26/2007
- MikeDu I'm a Fan of MikeDu 147 fans permalink
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Actually, as a card-carrying 'guy' I must say I have to agree with mommadonna. Guys are less self-aware, generally exposed to less external expectations, and a few IQ points dumber. That adds up to a kind'a fuzzy moronic contentment that settles over us in the same way that dust settles on furniture.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:06 PM on 09/26/2007
- Defyant I'm a Fan of Defyant 16 fans permalink

And there it is!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:15 PM on 09/26/2007
- mommadona I'm a Fan of mommadona 167 fans permalink
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Dear, I am happily married for over 30 years after living with him for 7 years just to shake out the cobwebs.

I also have two 20+ year old sons.

I know of what I speak.

Just pointing out the truth.
It hurts sometimes, if you're not used to it.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:28 PM on 09/26/2007
- dadw5boys I'm a Fan of dadw5boys 281 fans permalink
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I think you have got some of that backwards.
Men see the world as "I" for sure but when he marries that "I" INCLUDES HIS FAMILY!
Sure women clean up the mess, usually, because most are such control freaks that men stop doing things just to avoid an arguement over HOW TO FOLD A TOWEL.
Remember at one time before you came along a man could do things right or you would not have married him.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:45 PM on 09/26/2007
- mommadona I'm a Fan of mommadona 167 fans permalink
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Points well taken.

My hubby's a gem of a person.
HE'S the anal cleaner in the house.
The boys? Not so much.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 03:26 PM on 09/26/2007

Retarded post.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:06 PM on 09/26/2007
- Fuji I'm a Fan of Fuji 11 fans permalink

Rubbish. Most men I know and have known are old-school workers who bust their butts everyday (in jobs ranging from salesmen to surveyors) with one thought in mind --- SUPPORT THE FAMILY.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:37 PM on 09/26/2007

Do you have an older single friend? I want one of those you describe.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:10 AM on 09/27/2007
- qofdisks I'm a Fan of qofdisks 11 fans permalink

I have always found this to be true. Not some man but all of them think of themselves first.
I think that it must be some sort of synergistic thing for the evolutionary survival of the family. As a woman I have come to expect it and I don't take it personally.
The key is to avoid the controlling type of guy who thinks you are trying to get into a pissing contest every time you remind him to belly up to his chores.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:02 PM on 09/26/2007
- Hattie I'm a Fan of Hattie 7 fans permalink

Ah, I see. Men are just being selfish in order to preserve the family. That makes perfect sense!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:13 AM on 09/27/2007
- Defyant I'm a Fan of Defyant 16 fans permalink

Wait for it.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:35 AM on 09/26/2007
- OneWoman I'm a Fan of OneWoman 6 fans permalink

I just want you to know that I think you are FUNNY. I get such a kick out of reading your posts.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:26 PM on 09/26/2007
- Defyant I'm a Fan of Defyant 16 fans permalink

Gee thanks. I get out of writing them.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:41 AM on 09/27/2007
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