Time's Rick Stengel wrote yesterday of Tuesday's audience dinner with self-aggrandizing and megalomaniacal Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, attended by pillars of the media and academic establishment like Brian Williams, Christiane Amanpour and, well, Rick Stengel — alas, he does not dish on the other attendees other than to note that they were "academics and journalists." We have since divined some more information about the room, though it's more about who wasn't there than about who was — Williams was the only anchor in attendance, though ABC News prez David Westin was there (apparently sans brand-new #2). Stengel's doppelganger over at Newsweek, Jon Meacham, also wasn't there (he was out of town); according to sources "it was mostly academics and think-tank types."

Which brings us back to our headline. Apart from the free food and general coolness of being at that kind of event — if you're into such things — after reading Stengel's account I am forced to conclude that it was an excruciating evening. Apparently, Ahmadinejad "glided" in and requested that those assembled "not ask questions, but make statements" so that he could react "in a form of dialogue," which they did — and "after an hour, he is ready to respond." An HOUR! Of statements by "not shy" academics! Twenty-three of them, apparently! And THEN he is ready to respond! Did they serve wine at this thing? Man alive!

So that puts Ahmadinejad opening his mouth to speak at about 9pm. By now, dinner is long gone, so you can't even toy with food on your plate. You may be on your second, third, fourth cup of tea and/or water, just because it's in front of you. Are you allowed to leave the room to go to the bathroom, or will that offend His Craziness? (But if you do go to the bathroom, at least you can be sure that no one from the Iranian delegation will play footsie with you in the stall, 'cause they don't have gay people there). Meanwhile, Ahmadinejad is just now warming up, "with a half-hour ode to the relationship between man and God that might have been dictated by the Persian poet Rumi." Aaaaah can this even be distilled to a soundbite? I would be pinching my thighs under the table to stay awake at this point.

So now it's 9:30 — and according to Stengel he is only just now getting to the comments. You know, all 23 of them. And also according to Stengel, everyone had a written place card so who knows who you were sitting next to — at least writing funny notes to each other surreptitiously would have made it bearable. This thing sounds worse than the singles table at your cousin's bar mitzvah. Except at least you know that those speeches will eventually end.

This blog post isn't about the meat of the exchange, though in fairness the topics probably made it more interesting than my hed would convey — Iran's nuclear capability, his thoughts on the Palestinians and the "Zionist regime", the respective roles of Iran and the U.S. in Iraq, the legacy of Adolf Hitler. However, since we watched the speech at Columbia, we know that he, er, tends to ramble. Brian Williams described it on his blog as "equal parts delusion, attempted charm, faux humility and bluster." All kicking off AFTER an hour and a half of long-winded academics, ruminations on love and poetry, and probably a full bladder.

We hear it stretched for almost two hours after that, wrapping up nearish 11ish (this can be explained by this example: Stengel writes that "[i]n answer to a question about how he viewed Hitler's legacy, he says, 'I view Hitler's role as extremely negative, a despicably dark face.'" We heard that Ahmadinejad went off on a tear about Hitler, ranting at some length, apparently nonplussed to be compared to him (well, sorry dude, that's what you get for denying the Holocaust). Point being, brevity is apparently not this guy's strong suit). Ours either, judging by that parenthetical.

So why did fifty VIPs hand over their entire night to his theatrics? Well, because, in that way of Everest, he was there — that is to say, there to be heard, and cited, and transcribed, and questioned, and assessed — because rambly though he may be, he is the Iranian president, and what he does over the next little while will sort of be important. For the writers of the first draft of history, this is their lot.

Anyhow, that's our take on the Ahmadinejad dinner, aka the Ahmadinnerjad (or, simply, Ahmadinner). Yes, we know: That sounds sort of like the Persian poet Rumi.

p.s. The Washington Post's Robin Wright reports that Clinton administration National Security Council staff member Gary Samore was there, too — as, presumably she was. We also hear that Gary Sick of Columbia's Middle East Institute at the School of International and Public Affairs was there, as well as Harvard national security expert from the Belfer Center (and HuffPo blogger!) Graham Allison. So that's four more people. Whoo! Party!

My Dinner with Ahmadinejad [Time]
Food For Thought [Daily Nightly]

Related:
"Mr. President, You Exhibit All The Signs of a Petty and Cruel Dictator": Welcome To Columbia, Mahmoud! [ETP]

Comments for this post are now closed