This Week's Top 5 Moments Of Terrible Television

Huffington Post   |  Patrick Waldo   |   October 12, 2007 01:05 PM

Read More: A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila, Beauty Pageants, Jack McBrayer, The Real World, Breaking Entertainment News
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This week was filled with awful television. And since you can't waste your valuable DVR space on all of it, we're here to fill you in on what you missed.

On MTV's "The Real World", housemates got into a fight over a grilled cheese sandwich. Want the back story? No, of course you don't. It's worth pointing out, however, that resident Southern boy Cohutta is actually a good representation of the South. In this age of "My Name is Earl" and Larry the Cable Guy, it's hard to find a Southern television character who's not a terrible stereotype. Cohutta, to his credit, proves that there are still classy guys to be found south of the Mason-Dixon line. From MTV 10/10/07.


MTV debuted its new bisexual dating show this week, "A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila", in which 16 straight men and 16 lesbians compete for the chance to move into the MySpace star's mansion. The show featured MTV's trademark casual racism, like "I've never been with an Asian chick before, but I love Chinese food." Classy. But the highlight of the show wasn't scantily clad women or girl-on-girl make-out sessions, it was just a guy with a hilarious laugh. From MTV 10/9/07.


MTV proved it can keep up with last year's news when it debuted "Pageant Place" this week, a reality show following 2006 Miss USA Tara Connor. You may remember Conner as the beauty queen who was almost dethroned after allegations came out about her underage drinking and drug use. In this clip, Conner says she was accused of using cocaine by former Miss Teen USA Katie Blair after Blair thought Conner was moving in on her boyfriend. You're really regretting missing this show now, aren't you? From MTV 10/10/07.


And Vh1 summed up why the terrorists hate us in one show, "Little Beauties: Ultimate Kiddie Queen Showdown." I can't even begin to sum up this clip.


This week in television wasn't all terrible, as shown in the fifth clip. At least we got to see Jack McBrayer of "30 Rock" Double Dutch on "Ellen".

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- Guaddog See Profile I'm a Fan of Guaddog

Please, the telebision...

Turn it off.
Turn it off.
Turn it off.
Turn it off.
Turn it off.
Turn it off.
Turn it off.
Turn it off.

Please. You will be much happier.

We cut the cable and I only watch Bills football (when it comes in) and it is AMAZING how much time we have to do things ourselves, not watch other people do them on the telebision.

This sounds like bragging, but my kids read and write books and plays and act them out and paint and play together, outside. It's just what happens when you...

Turn it off.
Turn it off.
Turn it off.
Turn it off.
Turn it off.
Turn it off.
Turn it off.
Turn it off.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:17 AM on 10/17/2007
- drblack See Profile I'm a Fan of drblack

Music is art for the ears not the eyes. Seeing an actual live concert is different...but those videos.
As beck sang "MTV Makes Me Want To Smoke Crack".
As for Earl...its funny and silly and because there are lots of southerners who are MUCH worse in justifying their stereotype why not have some fun.
Stereotype by definition has a grain of truth.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:38 PM on 10/16/2007
- woodsywizz See Profile I'm a Fan of woodsywizz

OK, it's been fun slamming the Dreadful Channels. Meanwhile there is some GREAT programming out there! Try watching History Channel, National Geographic Channel, The Learning Channel, Animal Planet, and for an occasional 'blast from the past', old Addams Family shows still air. There's something for almost everybody. If you want to see a mature version of the Grilled Cheese Show, try watching 'Meerkat Manor', a soap opera that's actually reality television. With meerkats. [Animal Planet] If you don't have cable, or TV, rent or check them out from a library to play on your computer. You'll feel better about yourself and humanity after watching the meerkat family - it's sort of humbling and inspiring at the same time.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:45 AM on 10/16/2007
- Pdubya See Profile I'm a Fan of Pdubya

I'm going to light up and watch those girls kissing again...

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:22 PM on 10/15/2007
- Cugel See Profile I'm a Fan of Cugel

Well, we haven't reached rock bottom yet, have we? During the last days of the Roman Empire they had gladiators fighting with swords and human sacrifice to wild beasts. "American Gladiators" only fought each other with giant padded Q-tips, so clearly we have a way to go before the last days. Not that Fox wouldn't love to put gladiator sword fights to the death on Friday nights instead of pro-wrestling.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:23 AM on 10/15/2007
- Tr0uBle See Profile I'm a Fan of Tr0uBle

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

Let Congress know targeting Smokers with a $6.10 a Carton Tax Hike is going too Far!

SAY NO to Higher Cigarette Taxes

www.stoptheFETincrease.com
Or
Call 1-866-527-4494

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:12 PM on 10/14/2007
- NotMyPrez See Profile I'm a Fan of NotMyPrez

Best way not to be addicted to cigarettes- don't be a jackass and start. Cry my a nicotine formaldehyde river!

you could have had a Hi Def tv by now....

l0sers

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:12 AM on 10/15/2007
- IndependentInquiry See Profile I'm a Fan of IndependentInquiry

I DO have a 50" hi def TV and I smoke, so what's your point?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:32 PM on 10/15/2007
- ElectroJones See Profile I'm a Fan of ElectroJones

I hate smokers and I hate smoking, and I hate trolling too. Now what were you saying?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 05:18 AM on 10/15/2007
- Rand See Profile I'm a Fan of Rand

I hate trolling, as well, but it's a good thing that trex67 and ElectroJones don't do anything which anyone else would find objectionable, or they'd seem like a pair of hypocrites

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 03:04 PM on 10/15/2007
- Valkyrie See Profile I'm a Fan of Valkyrie

You hate smokers and smoking? How absolutely progressive to follow the republican line of thought and hate the sinners as well as the sin. Not that smoking is a sin. It's a choice. An adult choice like booze. I hate people who drink and drinking! That's a lot of people to hate. I hate fat people and people who eat to much! A Because that's an unhealthy habit too, isn't it? That's also a lot of people to hate. Really, let's just tax everything that we ourselves don't like. Those are good taxes, right? I wish people would quit being nannies and start pointing their fingers at themselves before enacting laws that are just plain stupid. If I want to smoke cigarettes, I'm going to smoke cigarettes. If I want to smoke weed, I'm going to smoke weed. If I want to drink all night and pass out, that's what I'm going to do. If I want to jerk off to porn all night, guess what? That's what I'm going to do. I'll bet ya that trex67 and some others have plenty of their own bad habits that could be taxed, but watch the hate speech and the mommy finger wagging, guys. You're just like the republicans.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:54 AM on 10/15/2007
- progressivegreg See Profile I'm a Fan of progressivegreg

YOU HATE ME??!! You don't even know me! You sound like an ill mannered boob!!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:47 AM on 10/15/2007
- trex67 See Profile I'm a Fan of trex67

I'd support a $50 a PACK tax on cigarettes, Mr. Tr0LL-Ble. It's a disgusting, potentially life-taking habit, that people should be encouraged to quit.

And way to stay on topic.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:55 PM on 10/14/2007
- revko See Profile I'm a Fan of revko

My tella tubbie hurts

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 05:43 PM on 10/14/2007
- SoonerThought See Profile I'm a Fan of SoonerThought

Easy way to stop this mindless crap: turn it off.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:33 AM on 10/14/2007
- marleysghost See Profile I'm a Fan of marleysghost

The race to the bottom is in its final throes. I suggest we bring back live footage from battlefronts around the world. At least that stuff isn't actually staged to be awful - and it is real.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:17 AM on 10/14/2007
- considering See Profile I'm a Fan of considering

Jack McBrayer!! An overnight star after years and years. No one has deserved his success more. Sweet, genuine, nuanced comedy; he is the light of 30 Rock.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:39 AM on 10/14/2007
- SouthernYankeeBelle See Profile I'm a Fan of SouthernYankeeBelle

Gosh I would break my ex-daughter-in-laws legs if she put my granddaughter in one of these contests. I think that is child abuse. Mothers like these women should be in jail. I bet these same women wonder why little children are raped by some perverts who like little kids. Shame on you mothers to parade yours kids like little whores.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:34 PM on 10/13/2007
- DocManhattan See Profile I'm a Fan of DocManhattan

Couldn't have put it better myself, SYB. Makes my stomach churn.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:33 AM on 10/14/2007
- heretical_eggs See Profile I'm a Fan of heretical_eggs

Really sad to see what MTV has become. Thank goodness cable has alternatives for watching just about any video from any genre without much or any commerical interruption.

The little girl beauty pageant is simply sick. The mothers need a find a new hobby or obsession like maybe...THE GYM?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 05:15 PM on 10/13/2007
- kendra See Profile I'm a Fan of kendra

Why always an inverse correlation:
The fatter/uglier the mother = more cuter/charming the daughter.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:31 PM on 10/14/2007
- SueDoe See Profile I'm a Fan of SueDoe

Let me tell you the real reality show.

Put me in a room with an internet connection and the pageant mommies.

Video it.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:07 PM on 10/13/2007
- YellowPanties See Profile I'm a Fan of YellowPanties

MTV get off the air!

This sentiment was turned into a song by Dead Kennedys over 20 years ago! And that's when MTV didn't complete suck.

What would Jello say now? Jello, why hast thou forsaken us?

Here's the DKs performing the song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1e2ZMMLK4Kw

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:16 PM on 10/13/2007
- YellowPanties See Profile I'm a Fan of YellowPanties

The kiddie beauty pageant is really scary. Their insane little faces remind me of Little Superstar.

If you haven't seen Little Superstar (to the two people in the universe who haven't) here's the YouTube link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gx-NLPH8JeM

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:08 PM on 10/13/2007
- Bright Creature See Profile I'm a Fan of Bright Creature

3, lol

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:11 AM on 10/15/2007
- DHeil See Profile I'm a Fan of DHeil

Sad little girls. Sick friggin parents of the poor little girls. Common sense should tell parents that kids are impressionable and at that age, they follow what mommy and daddy tell them is good.

The kids have NO IDEA what damage mommy and daddy are causing them. They have years and years of extensive psychotherapy to look forward to in their adult years.

Child protective services? What's the phone number? Get them on the line immediately and lock those SICK, SICK parents up.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:51 PM on 10/13/2007
- mintbar4zen See Profile I'm a Fan of mintbar4zen

"The kids have NO IDEA what damage mommy and daddy are causing them. They have years and years of extensive psychotherapy to look forward to in their adult years." Then again, maybe not. Children have always enjoyed participating in beauty contests. They're nothing new.

Maybe the girls simply enjoyed their day, and then went on with their lives. And then, looking back on it fondly, when they're older. As girls have done for generations. Maybe the world is not coming to an end.

The last thing the girls would ever need is to be psychoanalyzed, and GIVEN non-existant problems adults would project onto them. I realize it's fashionable to project "abuse" onto everything imaginable these days. But maybe it was never really there, in the first place. Maybe they have "...NO IDEA what damage mommy and daddy are causing them", because it was never there to begin with, and they simply had a nice day.

Over-analyzing adults aside, their having a nice day was simply the point of it in the first place, wasn't it?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:51 PM on 10/13/2007
- SouthernYankeeBelle See Profile I'm a Fan of SouthernYankeeBelle

Oh please. These mommies are living through their daughters. Look at JonBenet. It isn't natural for little girls with tons of hairspray, makeup and dress like adult women would wear cloths. Prancing and shaking their butts around like adult women do on run ways. Do you see the little girl in the middle with the long blonde hair showing her back. I don't think these mommies are right in the mind. Sick and shameless. I don't want to hear about how it helps their self esteeme. Their mommies don't have any if they push their daughters out there like a bunch of little whores learning to become bigger whores.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:05 AM on 10/16/2007
- Evelyn See Profile I'm a Fan of Evelyn

Ya think? This has always gone on? Not where I come from, it didn't. If this was just a one-day, fun dress-up activity, sure. But something tells me that this is a lifestyle, just like showing dogs. And if you don't think that being turned into a product at the age of 5 or 6 is harmful to a girl's psyche, then I hope you don't have kids.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:28 PM on 10/13/2007
- Bright Creature See Profile I'm a Fan of Bright Creature

It just looks like another propaganda piece to churn out more feminine cliches. I wish TV would begin to get the idea that we want real women - not a shallow guy's idea of a good time.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:17 AM on 10/15/2007
- Backcaster See Profile I'm a Fan of Backcaster

Furthemore, if this a demonstration of Truth and Beauty in the USA then we are closer to extinction than i thought.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:51 AM on 10/15/2007
- GlennHar See Profile I'm a Fan of GlennHar

Preparation for, or participation in, child beauty pageants should be legally classified as child abuse. Any parent who thinks it's a good idea to train their little girl to look and act like an adult sex symbol is seriously sick. Any parent who doesn't know who are the real "fans" of their pimped-up daughter is seriously naive.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:59 PM on 10/13/2007
- sofondajanefonda See Profile I'm a Fan of sofondajanefonda

Fortunately the video players displayed a message they wouldn't play because my connection speed wasn't fast enough.
I don't have cable and don't miss it. I only pull out the rabbit ears once a year for Kathy Griffin. If you can't quit tv, my best advice for everyone is at least Never watch a morning news show or local news again. They are the real soul-suckers.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:00 AM on 10/13/2007
- Bright Creature See Profile I'm a Fan of Bright Creature

I got the same message. I have DSL and i clicked anyway and it blew right through them. However, if you couldn't see them you weren't missing all that much... so yes, you were fortunate :)

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:19 AM on 10/15/2007
- MissingAmerica See Profile I'm a Fan of MissingAmerica

Throw reality tv into the mix. There are a couple shows I like because they involve talent or knowledge of something. The clips you missed? Well, you didn't miss much. The mothers of these little girls in the beauty pageant, however, should know better! These are very little girls who have a right to be little girls, without growing up concerned about their physical beauty and body and meeting standards which are virtually impossible to meet.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:45 AM on 10/13/2007
- RaderBarbarian See Profile I'm a Fan of RaderBarbarian

You know, to drive a car you need a license, even to cut hair you need some kind of training and a certificate hanging on your wall. To have kids, however, you need only DO IT! Any idiots with a penis and vagina can make babies. And do! Often!That clip proves it.

Bottom line? We - our culture - ALL OF US - care more about our automobiles and our HAIR than we do about our kids. There is no doubt about it. Absolutely!

Make me just sooo proud of us!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:33 PM on 10/13/2007
- VicPerry See Profile I'm a Fan of VicPerry

oh speak for yourself, lots of people care more about their kids than their possessions and don't watch stupid tv shows, either. I didn't say the "majority."

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 03:44 AM on 10/16/2007
- sundancer See Profile I'm a Fan of sundancer

The "bread and circus" of ancient Rome is now grilled cheese with super-sized fries and TV. Instead of Nero, we have Bush. Steeped in the soul-sucking brew of greed, pride, corruption, deception and incompetence of the past seven years American's try to distract, nourish, and justify themselves. Meanwhile, we are polluting and heating the world way out of proportion to our population and trying to suck up another countries oil thru the barrel of a gun. Ain't we all proud of what we've done?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:52 AM on 10/13/2007
- thetruthmustbetold See Profile I'm a Fan of thetruthmustbetold

Sundancer,
Build a bridge and get over it!!!!!!!!!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:01 PM on 10/14/2007
- beastofbourbon See Profile I'm a Fan of beastofbourbon

It was all just stupid until the kiddie pageant........... I just dug out my eyeballs with a spoon ...........

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:28 AM on 10/13/2007
- adamsmith See Profile I'm a Fan of adamsmith

The end result of President Johnson's "Great Society" and liberalism altogether. Watch as this becomes endemic with a Democratic win in '08.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:47 AM on 10/13/2007
- MajorKong See Profile I'm a Fan of MajorKong

Last time I checked these kiddie beauty pageants are big in places like Texas and the other red states. Nice try.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:05 PM on 10/13/2007