I want the Emperor Palpatine doll, life size,
that shoots REAL purple lightning out of his hands! Fun at parties, AMAZE your friends!
NOW you will DIE, young Skywalker...bzzzzzzzt!

It's wonderful to see Walmart, the religous group responsible for the marketing, and the figure's manufacturer donate all the sales revenue to the needy and indigent. Oh wait, I'm sorry. They're not donating all the proceeds to the helpless and homeless. They're making a few million bucks off people's fantasy of a religous figure in who's name countless have died and millions and millions have been persecuted in terribly awful ways. Way to go people. Maybe next year they can make a Satan figure for Jesus to battle. Maybe they could include something like light-sabers. "DUN DUN, DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN.".......

Here's the last laugh on that figure. If that is the same figure I got last year it says things like "Blessed are the peacemakers"

Now what they need is a play-doh Jesus head - with quick-gro hair and beard!

That's not Jeebus, that's Jim Morrison!!

Wow! Look at the comments. Is this what happens when someone throws holy water on HuffPo?
Like, totally.

If I recall correctly, In Gore Vidal's book Live From Golgotha Jesus comes back and he weighs 400lbs. Wouldn't that be a hoot?

Doesn't it seem ironic that this article link was posted just above the one about human evolution speeding up? Yes, but in what direction....?

Well they do make many other fictional characters into action figures so why not jesus.
This is another way to get the superstitious to cough up the cash, which is the point of organized religion.

Jesus has an uncanny resemblance to actor Luke Wilson, if you asked me. Creepy!

All right you guys. I need some help. I want to produce a Jesus Mr. Potatoehead in time for Easter. I need a catchy name like "Darth Tator". Any suggestions:

"Spud Christ"
"Jesus Chip"

You get the idea............

I wonder if the Jesus doll is "anatomically correct", if you catch my drift. It would be interesting to see if Barbie leaves Ken for Him.

Now I get it! This is what G.W. Bush means when he says that God talks to him!!

Let's face it; Jesus was a tree-hugging radical pinko who believed in helping the poor and the disenfranchised. He cavorted with hookers. He threw the merchants OUT of the temple. He challenged the system. He questioned authority. He held rallies. Today, if was on his same mission, he be thrown in Guantanamo as an enemy of the State.
Christianity in America today has NOTHING to do with the teachings of Jesus Christ.
Love thy neighbor? Not fucking likely, especially if they're black, Hispanic or gay.
Turn the other cheek? Not fucking likely, with a nation bent on revenge and retribution.
Help the poor? No, kill the poor!
American Jesus is a gun-totin' mercenary on steroids. Get your action figure now!

LMFAO!!!

A talking Jesus doll! I can just imagine what he says! Well... at least the American version of Jesus.

"I support the NRA!"
"Death to homos!"
"Hate the immigrants!"
"Guns are our friends!"
"War is good!"
"Kill everyone different than you!"
"Women deserve no choice!"
"He with the most toys wins!"