Patriotic school administrators at Joppatowne High School in Joppatowne, Md. (winner: Funnest Town Name To Say, 1998-2004) have launched the first homeland security high school program, in the hopes of preparing their students for the hottest and fearmongeriest jobs in this ever-expanding field.

According to the program advisor, students "[learn] where terrorism comes from, the political motivations, even going back to the Crusades and talking about change over time." Eager young terror-haters will even be treated to lessons from the U.S. Coast Guard, the National Security Agency, and companies that sell protective masks and suits (complete with class discount, natch).

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