03/28/2008 02:45 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Annals Of Campaign Endorsements: McCain Wraps Up The Stallone Vote

Look out Mike Huckabee! Seems like you're not the only candidate in the race with the backing of a washed-up Hollywood jarhead of yesteryear! On Fox And Friends, John McCain got himself a key endorsement from roided-up elderly action-movie star Sylvester Stallone, who offered his own scintillating mumblecore tribute on how McCain's plan for a new century of endless wars will totally help the box office grosses of his turgid Rambo franchise. McCain received the news by punching the air like a child and vowing to run up the steps of the Philadelphia Museum of Art, which will surely, and immediately, kill him.

By the way, "Don't punch a side of beef, Senator," represents the first semi-intelligent phrase Steve Doocy has ever uttered.