George Clooney: I Have To Move Because Of Britney Spears

George Clooney recently found out he lives a few houses away from Britney Spears. It was probably the night she was taken to the hospital after the custody stand-off, and now he jokes he has to move.
The video of him telling the story is video snippet #6 of Newsweek's Oscar roundtable, and worth a watch for Clooney's story-telling capabilities. If you can't watch, here's the transcript:

I just found out about 10 days ago that I must live 300 or 400 yards from Britney Spears. And I found out cause I came home at 10 at night and there's all these helicopters over my house with these lights. I'd gone upstairs, and I came out and I'm in a robe. All of the sudden I see all this shit going on.
I have a guest house where my assistant sometimes is, and I think, someone has broken out of prison and like escaped, because it's a chase scene. It's something out of "Die Hard." I get my baseball bat, which is what you always get in every film--I actually think Clive Owen said, "Get a baseball bat"--and I called up my assistant, who I thought was in the guest house, and I said, "Are you OK?"
And she's like, "Yes."
And I said, "Look, if there's someone in the place, say the word 'Stonehenge'."
And she's like, "What the fuck are you talking about? I'm in my apartment."
I go, "You're not in the guesthouse?"
"No."
So I'm, like, "Well, then, what the fuck is going on?" And I go out and I'm running around with a baseball bat in my robe.
And it turns out it's Britney Spears' house is like, 300 yards from mine. So now I have to move.

Comments

[dana94591]

Hahahahahaha! That's so funny, George!

[Dianekkdi]

I'd evacuate the neighborhood. Bring all children and animals indoors. ;)

Happy house hunting George; how many calls have you gotten from realtors so far? ;)

[skyfish]

Oh my... the trials and tribulations of the rich and famous. My heart really bleeds for you, George.

[factotem]

Living 4 doors down from Britney Spears in Beverly Hills (or Bel Air) is NOT the same thing as living 4 doors down from the town drunk in Shitburg. The estates are huge... noone lives anyone near their gate.

[barrycourage]

When NJ ex-governor James E.(as in Exploit-My-Sexual-Orientation-to-Escape-Likely-Indictment) McGreevey moved into my home town I thought, "There goes the neighborhood."

At least Ms. Spears brings a little excitement with her.

[WilliamWallace]

The story is hilarious, George is a brilliant guy. I hope that those who read the headline watch the video, so that it all stays in context....

Oh, and Angelina Jolie is still beautiful ;)

[radicalcentrist44]

If I was George, I would never leave that beautiful villa he owns in Italy. Not a fan of all his politics, but he is cool and a really good actor. I still think he blew it on Oceans 12 though.

[genseric13]

He may be pointing out in a self deprecating way that someone else is more important then he is. It wasn't a bad joke.

[starrianna]

With Jokester George,
you know there's a "not gay" joke there somewhere.
The Punchline is:
"gonna have to move...might see Britney without her panties...too much vagina, too close"
"gotta move!"
and we're supposed to chuckle and say, "Oh that loony Clooney, he's not gay but isn't he cute!"
while he chuckles and goes back to his house where his OTHER assistants live (the male variety).

[OSIRISZ]

oh george you're so funny... whatever

[BlueBoomer]

"...and I'm running around with a baseball bat in my robe..."

As if he's not gorgeous enough, now we admiring women are "stuck" picturing him with a "baseball bat" in his robe!

It's almost too much to "bare"!

[jennbeez]

"If there's someone in the house, say Stonehenge"...too funny :)

[Eric8869]

Well Britney is a Republican. Nice "family values" there.

[CrankyGal]

Can someone please let Gorgeous George know that if he needs a place to stay while his things are being packed up during his move, he can come to my place...

[SecretlyFamous]

Well I wonder how many of you would cope with being a huge star at an early age, parents with no clue, absolutely no self esteem - ironically, if she did have any she would have never gone with that guy...then the world makes out YOU are the nut case and you lose your children. Everyone thinks you are a losing it, every paper breathes the every move you make...you people are sad and heartless. Have compassion for a mother and young woman in a highly pressured situation.

I bet you freak out and abuse people when the dry cleaning comes back late and your latte is burnt...try getting a reality check on the Britney situation before you throw another stone.

Is that what this world is about now - kicking those who are down? I bet Heath would have been kicked by you if he had lived...some sordid affair with Mary-Kate...whatever...

George Clooney's comments probably have been blown out of proportion ... but I thought he was different. Pity he can't try and help her.

The media circus continues: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tamsin-rothschild/pure-love-on-heaths-p_b_82831.html