George Clooney: I Have To Move Because Of Britney Spears

George Clooney recently found out he lives a few houses away from Britney Spears. It was probably the night she was taken to the hospital after the custody stand-off, and now he jokes he has to move.
The video of him telling the story is video snippet #6 of Newsweek's Oscar roundtable, and worth a watch for Clooney's story-telling capabilities. If you can't watch, here's the transcript:

I just found out about 10 days ago that I must live 300 or 400 yards from Britney Spears. And I found out cause I came home at 10 at night and there's all these helicopters over my house with these lights. I'd gone upstairs, and I came out and I'm in a robe. All of the sudden I see all this shit going on.
I have a guest house where my assistant sometimes is, and I think, someone has broken out of prison and like escaped, because it's a chase scene. It's something out of "Die Hard." I get my baseball bat, which is what you always get in every film--I actually think Clive Owen said, "Get a baseball bat"--and I called up my assistant, who I thought was in the guest house, and I said, "Are you OK?"
And she's like, "Yes."
And I said, "Look, if there's someone in the place, say the word 'Stonehenge'."
And she's like, "What the fuck are you talking about? I'm in my apartment."
I go, "You're not in the guesthouse?"
"No."
So I'm, like, "Well, then, what the fuck is going on?" And I go out and I'm running around with a baseball bat in my robe.
And it turns out it's Britney Spears' house is like, 300 yards from mine. So now I have to move.

Comments

[BoBoPupkin]

If the baseball glove don't fit you must acquit.

[ResidentChimp]

He should try another country. I'm sure Chavez will welcome him with open arms.

[cultkicker]

BWAHAHAHAH­AHAHAHAHAH­AHAA!!! Now THAT was funny.

[MarkInIrvine]

"and she's like ... and i'm like "

this is the way that nitwit woman talks ... like an idiot.

[JonathanDS]

Britney has cooties!

[TheLar]

this is critical news. thank you for posting it. now i have to move my browser somewhere else.

[rwilliams1961]

I totally understand. I live in Texas and still feel I live too close to her.

[samguy]

Does Clooney have to move because Brittney's getting more attention?

[jupitergiant]

Like,is this the way george talks..like, when it is not ..like,scr­ipted...li­ke..."?

[KarenZipdrive]

Hard to believe George lives in a trailer park.
I guess it's time to check the tires, tie down the contents and get a move on.

[Robert11010]

I'm sorry, but that was absolutely hilarious ...

[ClaudiaJean]

I'm overwhelmed at how many people seem to have had some sort of elective surgery by which all remnants of their sense of humour have been removed.

It was a joke. Clooney's funny and irreverant somtimes. How is it that flew over the heads of some HuffPo visitors so fast it left a sonic boom in its wake?

[1rewd1]

Why isn't this woman dead?

[imsosure]

So fucking move, it's your choice big guy.

[sedum]

You can't expect her to remember to take her meds ALL the time.