George Clooney: I Have To Move Because Of Britney Spears

George Clooney recently found out he lives a few houses away from Britney Spears. It was probably the night she was taken to the hospital after the custody stand-off, and now he jokes he has to move.
The video of him telling the story is video snippet #6 of Newsweek's Oscar roundtable, and worth a watch for Clooney's story-telling capabilities. If you can't watch, here's the transcript:

I just found out about 10 days ago that I must live 300 or 400 yards from Britney Spears. And I found out cause I came home at 10 at night and there's all these helicopters over my house with these lights. I'd gone upstairs, and I came out and I'm in a robe. All of the sudden I see all this shit going on.
I have a guest house where my assistant sometimes is, and I think, someone has broken out of prison and like escaped, because it's a chase scene. It's something out of "Die Hard." I get my baseball bat, which is what you always get in every film--I actually think Clive Owen said, "Get a baseball bat"--and I called up my assistant, who I thought was in the guest house, and I said, "Are you OK?"
And she's like, "Yes."
And I said, "Look, if there's someone in the place, say the word 'Stonehenge'."
And she's like, "What the fuck are you talking about? I'm in my apartment."
I go, "You're not in the guesthouse?"
"No."
So I'm, like, "Well, then, what the fuck is going on?" And I go out and I'm running around with a baseball bat in my robe.
And it turns out it's Britney Spears' house is like, 300 yards from mine. So now I have to move.

Comments

[Sparhawk]

This verifies something.­..

He's irrelevant­...and needs to talk like an adult

[JScott]

I guess even if you are a celeb it helps if ya know who your neighbors are.

[Merg]

OOPs Geogie, Now she knows where YOU live. Keep those doors bolted and the dogs inside.

[Ginzaman]

So what's the point of this? And how much does Clooney's publicist pay HuffPost for this?

[mojopo]

I always go for the baseball bat myself. I keep one in my trunk for emergencies. What I can't figure out is, if I truly need it, how in the Hell will I have time to pop the trunk and fetch my bat if I am being jacked? Obviously, I didn't think this one through.

[BlueLogic]

Good for him. Her rampant skankitude may be contagious. Next thing you know George will be going outside with his dongle hanging out of his pants.

[KarmaSartre]

He talks like a teenager.

[kellygrrrl]

boo hoo, Georgie!!!

I wonder how many people out there have a Nightmare Neighbor yet do not have the resources to pick up and move.