Must See Video: A Talking Dog, <em>Today</em>\'s Lewd Toy Demo, Pat Robertson Describes Heaven, And More!

Did you know Fox is still airing new episodes of "Cops"? Neither did I. Fortunately, my DVR grabbed the three new episodes that aired Saturday night, so I didn't miss this German Shepherd with a very strange bark. He sounds like he was definitely trained in the south, or he's at least picked up some sort of accent from his human co-workers. He needs to bring this spot-on cop impersonation of his to Letterman.

From Fox 2/16/08.


I'm sure the makers of the toy in this next clip had good intentions when they came up with the idea for a device that turns air guitaring into actual noise. I just don't think the belt is the best place to stick this thing. All I'm saying is that if you didn't know what the people in the following segment were doing, you might just think "Today" is teaching kids some dirty lessons.

From NBC 2/18/08.

During a very special Q & A sesh with "The 700 Club" audience this week, Pat Robertson took a question from a 10-year-old boy, who wanted some very specific details about heaven. After he asks things like, "What are the buildings made of in heaven?" and "What do they wear?", Pat cracks up at the curious kid, saying "We don't take questions from anybody that's under 12" because "they're always too embarrassing." Too embarrassing, Pat? Right! Because kids don't understand the line between fact and fiction, right? So is this where you set the little guy straight and tell him you don't actually know anything about heaven and can't prove there is such a thing, but you imagine that it's filled with wonderful things? No! You're Pat Robertson! This is where you give a very straightforward answer about how heaven has golden streets and walls filled with precious stones. Oh Pat, please don't ever retire.
From ABC Family 2/18/08.


I don't know enough about Oxygen channel's "Bad Girls Club" to tell you what it's about, or who these so-called ill-behaved ladies are, or why any of it is relevant at all. I just know that Tanisha, the "baddest" of the girls, is a colorful character. When she suspected a roommate of ripping up a picture of her, she got into a fist fight that nearly cost both girls their position on the show. So Darlene was rightfully nervous when she sat down Tanisha to tell her that she was the actual picture ripper-upper. I just hope Tanisha understands that Darlene probably didn't mean for her last comment in this video to be interpreted the way the show's editors interpreted it.

From Oxygen 2/19/08.


In my continuing quest to bring you the most hilariously awful videos from the net, I present this incredible find from funnyordie.com. I guess it's technically a music video, a rap song recorded by the L.A. Rams, circa 1984, during the era of shuffling Bears, rapping Dolphins, and singing Cowboys.. Whatever it is, it's 100% awesome, and definitely deserves a view or two... hundred.


 
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That's not a "talking dog." That's an animal that
has been videotaped terrorizing an already-subdued and hog-tied African American HUMAN BEING. Oh wait, that was the WHITE cops handling the dog -- who was allowed to bark and snap within inches of the suspect's face.

Nice. Hey ARIANNA, did you get this from the Daily Mail and then attribute it to The London Times? Oh no, that was last week.

This is an act of terrorism being used for...HUMOR? "Talking Dog"?

You call this editorial judgement?

This is a VERY disturbing video clip. Disgusting.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:22 PM on 02/24/2008
- Earl I'm a Fan of Earl permalink
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What good are jewels and gold in heaven? Doesn't make a bit of sense. If heaven is "what you want" for the individual, then Robertson must want gold and jewels. Imagine that!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:31 PM on 02/24/2008

Ole Rev. Pat disses a kid. No "Suffer the children to come to me and forbid them not, for of such is the Kingdom of Heaven" for him.

Gold streets and walls studded with "precious" gems, huh? Aside from being a nouveau-rich dream of conspicuous consumption, this idea strongly implies that Heaven is a physical place out there, maybe on that planet the Mormons believe in.

But if, instead, it's "whatever you'll want it to be" like Ole Pat says, then there will be lots of different versions. Will white racists have their own whites-only heaven (assuming any of them get there.)?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:00 PM on 02/24/2008
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Well, this video pretty much answers any remaining questions about why the Rams left LA.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:01 PM on 02/24/2008
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RAM IT has become the official song for Rev. Pat and Rush as they plan their next visit to Thailand to "minister" to the children !

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:30 PM on 02/24/2008

It's amazing that Christian's greed is ever present in their fairy tales of the afterlife. When they envision streets paved of gold and gems encrusted in the buildings. But, Pat imagines that heaven will be anything the person imagines????? What if they imagine nude dancing girls and a continual sex orgy! That means that's what they are going to get when they go to heaven?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:32 AM on 02/24/2008

Exactly! See, Pat knows that the streets of Heaven are paved with diamonds and gold because he owns diamond mines in Africa, and he's been sellin' the gems to God for years. An exclusive concession. That's how Pat got his private plane. And Trump, see, he's been building solid gold condos in the clouds so all those evangelicals will have a place to live.

Pat doesn't like questions from kids under 12, because they're often embarrassing. Answering them strains his intellect

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 03:01 PM on 02/24/2008

Oh Dear God that Ram it video , oh my god!!!!! ??? There's nothing left to say!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 05:12 PM on 02/23/2008

If you have everlasting life, are in heaven with God, Jesus is your bestest buddy, you have the Christian fellowship and love of all those other real Christians who made up to heaven, wtf do you have to have streets of gold and precious stones in the walls - hell that makes them all but divine but they got have snazzy walls.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 03:21 PM on 02/23/2008

Oh Dear God that Ram it video , oh my god!!!!! ??? There's nothing left to say!
______________________________________________

Nothing left to say?!? Sure there is: "Makes me glad to be a Giants fan."

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:57 PM on 02/23/2008

Heaven is what you are looking for.
actually that is a very profund statement

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 03:10 PM on 02/23/2008

Verily, My Dad asked me not to give too much away about what the kingdom of heaven is really like, but He does want you to know that We do have *the* best Chinese takeout and delivery going. Great bagels and lox, too.

Your Saviour

Jesus H Christ

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 05:26 PM on 02/23/2008

Heaven is what you are looking for.
actually that is a very profund statement
______________________________________
Amen!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:58 PM on 02/23/2008
- Earl I'm a Fan of Earl permalink
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That's great because my heaven does not have Pat Robertson in it. If I go somewhere that Pat Robertson is preaching, I will know I'm in hell.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:30 PM on 02/24/2008
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This is probably the most lucid explanation which I have heard; it's especially amazing coming from Pat Robertson. It's easy to mock any religion, but no one knows the answer to questions which by their nature lie beyond empirical analysis. Atheists are just as full of bullshit and negative speculation as the devout are of positive speculation.

Anyone who purports they know, can prove or disprove the existence or non-existence of dimensions which exceed the normal four of our perception are fools, Charlatans or both. This is a completely speculative realm.

You can disprove the Olympian gods, but you cannot disprove a transcendent being as the author of Time and Space itself. Only a fool would claim to be able to disprove something which he had no means to verify, just as only a Charlatan would claim to be able to prove it. For myself, to err on the side of hope appears better than to err on the side of benighted arrogance IMHO.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:52 PM on 02/24/2008
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"Atheists are just as full of bullshit and negative speculation as the devout are of positive speculation. "

Simply not true.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:08 PM on 02/24/2008
- Earl I'm a Fan of Earl permalink
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Why do your athiests have speculation and bullsh!t, while the devout only have speculation?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:48 PM on 02/24/2008

THAT COP DOG WAS SURE TRYING ITS DAMNEDEST...

To "bark orders" at the poor perp just like a real cop. Now, when they start issuing their sheps Glocks....

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 03:10 PM on 02/23/2008

RAM IT!...

Brought a smile to my face. Totally politically incorrect but also totally joyful (and I'm not even a football fan).

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:56 PM on 02/23/2008

Religions are nuts ... look around this planet and see what it's done to this world. It's spokesmen are controlling ego-idiots and the followers are much wackier dullards.

Spirituality is the last thing these God/Allah nut jobs understand.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:57 PM on 02/23/2008

What a country! A deluded old man gets to abuse children with lies about golden streets and jewel filled walls. The only thing Pat's latest hogwash fest indicative of is that he's a greedy man. Gold and jewels? Jesus would puke.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:43 AM on 02/23/2008

HEY MAN, IT'S IN THE BOOK OF REVELATION...

For once Pat Robertson wasn't making something up. Look, just because most fundamentalists are deluded, dogmatic idiots doesn't reflect on the Bible. They don't own it and it remains forever a great read. (Highly recommended -- "The Book of Revelation.")

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 03:00 PM on 02/23/2008
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Or just listen to Suppers Ready

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:27 PM on 02/23/2008

What do you think would happen if there was no money in religion?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:06 AM on 02/24/2008
- Earl I'm a Fan of Earl permalink
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Yeah, Robertson wasn't making something up. He was just repeating something that somebody else made up. The Book of Revelation is about as well written as an Ann Coulter column. Both are nonsense.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:50 PM on 02/24/2008

*Gold and jewels? Jesus would puke.*

I did.

Your Savior

Jesus H Christ

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 05:27 PM on 02/23/2008
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The LA Rams are The Village People of the 21st century.

Ram it, indeed!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:12 AM on 02/23/2008

I do believe that Robertson is right on one thing; your afterlife will begin as you believe.

Love the dog,the big gal has a big heart and, as for the "Ram It", fantastic. I can't really call it funny. It's a great number for a good workout! I really like it!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:41 AM on 02/23/2008
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