David Letterman's Old-Man McCain Jokes

Several nights this past week David Letterman riffed on various presidential candidates. Both Wednesday and Thursday he did a few minutes monologue that alternated between Ralph Nader and John McCain "he looks like the kind of guy who..." jokes. Condensed for easy viewing, here are Letterman's funniest McCain jokes from those monologues. (ex. "McCain looks like the kind of guy who spends all day in the coffee shop of a municipal golf course.")

Watch:

Letterman Jokes about John McCain http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid1435443589http://www.brightcove.com/channel.jsp?channel=1178199204

Comments

[sleeperd]

I've got news for you supercillious left-wing weasels and your effete Hollywood snobs. If you think the American people are going to turn control of this country over to media pretty-boy with 2 years experience and a name like Barack HUSSEIN Obama, you're even more demented than I thought.

That "old man" is going to kick his a** all the way back to Chicago.

Whats so delicious is the fact that the chickens are coming home to roost for the democrapic party. They have become so mired in their gender-bending, race-baiting slime that they are incapable of putting forth a qualified, capable, experienced candidate because they no longer recognize those characteristics as qualities to be admired. Instead they have become a PC cesspool that is sinking lower and lower into the ooze of irrelevance. Hopefully, this election will be the final nail in coffin of the remnants of a political party that once had men such as Harry Truman and John Kennedy.

[shockmagog]

"If you think the American people are going to turn control of this country over to media pretty-boy with 2 years experience and a name like Barack HUSSEIN Obama, you're even more demented than I thought."

Why not?

The American people turned control of this country over to a north easterner who passed himself off a as cowboy (who's afraid of horses, by the way) who "pulled himself up by his own bootstraps," who subsequently became de facto vice president visiting elementary schools, who's real vice president actually carried on the duties of state, who subsequently allowed us to be attacked by terrorists in the worst way in United States history, who subsequently attacked and occupied the wrong country, who tied to this, subsequently ran us into the ground economically, who, by the way, allowed New Orleans to be destroyed in the worst man made/natural disaster in United States history, who before that, allowed Afghanistan to twist in the wind and for their recovery to ultimately fail, and who will, by all accounts be the worst president in United States history.

Why not?

[Ramirez]

bu..bu... but .... Bush...

[HermioneGranger]

They also turned the country over to Hollywood former-pretty-boy Ronald Reagan.

[johnqeniac]

Harry Truman was an asshole. But anyway, save that vitriol, chief, and enlist and get yourslf sent to Baghdad so you can get your legs blown off defending dubya's vanity and studity. When you come back a double amputee then I'll believe that you actually support bush'd catastrophic policies

[combatveteran]

original chickenhawk shit

[SonnyBono]

This just in from the County Registrar - unfortunately, Mr. sleeperd, sir, your parents were never married. Sorry about that - it however does explain your post.

[johnnyjust]

The "Old Man" jokes, hey? Wow, that's fresh.

Writer's still striking?

[watchingthings]

One fossil putting down another fossil.

[Mariel]

he looks like the kind of guy who should lose to Mike Huckabee on Tuesday.

[GeorgeGlass]

Letterman, Leno, and the rest ALL make jokes about McCain's age. And they do so because he is clearly a dynamic guy, who is not slowing down anytime soon. Were he sickly and weak they wouldn't make the jokes -- they wouldn't be funny. But because McCain is such a spitfire, its funny to pick on it. Heck, McCain's mom has more energy than most politicians.

[shockmagog]

Unfortunately, energy and dogged determination are McCain's most positive attributes.

[Viper]

I own Cancer treatment Centers in Florida... In your middle 70's I watch seniors go from tennis players to bed wetters in weeks and I'm approaching 60. The problem is McCain by running shows he cares more for the Presidency than he does for the country. And his ideas are exactly whats been in place for the past 7 years and really for 60 years on healthcare and 35 years on trade....

Not one new Idea.. status quo... Its ok, we have lost jobs.. no problem... and its OK to lose more... nothing you can do about it! Just lets continue down this road of disaster. Continue to stay in Iraq while all of our allies have no problem leaving! We are right and they are all wrong!

.Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Hell the currency is down 50%, lets do this some more and maybe a Dollar and pesso will soon be a one to one exchange rate!

America first in the world again finally... in number of people in prison.More than in in any dictatorship in the wolrd as a percent of population.. And that does not count the ones we have rendered to foreigh conutries to toture.

I'm so proud. 35 years ago when I went shopping , the products said made in U.S.A, now they say China. Yep, McCain means more of the sam, and thats completely insane.


Regards

[HermioneGranger]

Yeah, and don't forget, he is fucking a blonde 30 years younger than himself

[Ramirez]

And that bothers you because...

[Annette]

But his dad died at 70. One wonders if McCain takes after mom or dad. My bet is Dad. He is starting to get lost in his speeches. On occasion he makes no sense and he is looking quite tired and frail.
McCain Dynamic?? he looks like he has missed his nap.

[J.J. Hunsecker]

Tim Conway could make a comeback as a McCain impersonator. JM reminds me of that little old man character Conway used to do with Harvey Corman on the Carol Burnett show.

[floydSmoot]

Dave's got a point.

Whores don't age well.

[imusintheevening]

John McCain looks like the kind of guy that would yell at kids that tried to play on his lawn.

John McCain looks like the kind of guy who would try to punt the nuclear football.

John McCain looks like the kind of guy who drool over a middle aged female lobbyist.

John McCain looks like the kind of guy who will lie to the American People.

John McCain looks like the kind of guy who would blow up the world.

[Stirner]

He not only looks like the kind of guy, he IS that kind of guy. As a registered Republican I am really disgusted with the G.O.P. trying to push McCain and Lieberman (the "Bombsy Twins) down our throats. Well, be assured I will vote Republican (as I can't take much of either the world's Nanny or that gasbag Obama)... and it won't be for Huckabee. Only the "unknown" is left.

[bitabingbitabangbitaboom]

ALL TOGETHER NOW...............................................

O_BA_MA_O_BA_MA_O_BA_MA_O_BA_MA_O_BA_MA_O_BA_MA_

I can`t hear YOU...............................................

O_BA_MA_O_BA_MA_O_BA_MA_O_BA_MA_O_BA_MA_O_BA_MA_

Oh YEAH...........one more time..............

O_BA_MA_O_BA_MA_O_BA_MA_O_BA_MA_O_BA_MA_O_BA_MA_

O_BA_MA_O_BA_MA_O_BA_MA_O_BA_MA_O_BA_MA_O_BA_MA_


I`M THE FAT LADY>

[HGalal]

TO ALL OBAMA SUPPORTERS:

For the certain Republican onslaught to come, a suggested show of support against at least one probable tactic, using Obama's middle name as a way to instill fear and bigotry.

Start signing your posts and include as your middle name: "Hussein"

Signed: H 'Hussein' Galal

[shockmagog]

Thank you!

Signed,

Shock Bin Laden Donethat Magog.

[Viper]

Ignore the Hussein carp. Or al least mention Gen. OMAR Bradely. Or let m people know Obama did not have his had over his heart during the pledge of alligence becuase the National Anhtem was being sung. More right wing swift boating. Just like their blogs saying he is a radical Islamic.

Any real Amecircan who won when tactics like that are being used would step down.

BUSH wears a flag on his label and I see no sign of an American Patriot there. Its sad when a 2 dollar pin is a sign of patrotism.. Duke Cuinningham wore one and he is in prison for taking bribes and shitting on his sworn duties.

If weraing a pin makes you a patriot then I'm going to wear 5 pins since that must mean I'm 5 times the patriot and all for an investment of ten bucks. God, being a right wing patriot is so much easier than the real thing as BUSH knows

Personaly I dont know why any one is working overtime to try win the presidency after George BUSH has turned the country to shit! I dont know if this country can be restored economically in the next 20 years.

Even BUSH is only presiding over a 50% sale which is likely to become a going out of business sale.

Regards

[aqualung]

John McCain looks like the kinda guy who believes constipation is his biggest concern.

John McCain looks like the kinda guy who was against torture before he was for it.

John McCain looks like a guy who used to believe in campaign finance reform and now finances his campaign by circumventing the law.

John McCain looks like the kinda guy who trashes lobbyists while at the same time lobbyists are in bed with him.

John McCain looks like toast.

[JoJoKewl]

I hope yer right, but I don't think so.

[wmbear]

HEY, IF "60 IS THE NEW 40"...

That makes McCain's age, 71, the new 51, right? Good news for a lot of us, bad news for the country....

[wmbear]

ACTUALLY "AGISM" OF THE TYPE DISPLAYED BY LETTERMAN...

Is just as bad in its own way as are sexism and racism. The political incorrectness of his McCain jokes just hasn't percolated down to the masses yet. That said, I would just point out that McCain's age is the LEAST of his negatives. His war-mongering and Bush-pandering are much higher up on the list. My view of the age thing, though, is, whatever it takes. Repukes don't fight fair why should we? Keep up the good work, Dave!

[lornejl]

Gore, articulate, forward thinking, lost to an idiot.
Kerry, articulate, intelligent, years of experience, lost to an idiot.
Obama has no chance against McIdiot.
If dems ever hope to win the White House, they need to learn to drool as they speak, forget where they are, and wear a shiny flag lapel.
You have to fight idiocy, with idiocy..

[lornejl]

If the candidates are Obama vs McCain it should be a no brainer, but, we live in the U.S. , the country that hired a chimp war mongering english language butchering sociopath to run the country , twice. I say the old boy is a lock based on recent history.

[wmbear]

I CERTAINLY WOULDN'T WRITE MCCAIN OFF JUST YET...

To paraphrase H.L. Mencken, no politician ever went wrong underestimating the intelligence of American voters. Although, somewhat in defense of the electorate, George W, Bush was appointed to the Presidency by the Supreme Court in 2000 and by Diebold Election Solutions in 2004.

(Wonderful name, that, isn't it? The "solution" to a close election is to hack your own voting machines! BTW, this division of Diebold changed its name afterwards to Premier Election Solutions. I wrote them suggesting instead that they change it to Premier Illegal Solutions Software but I haven't heard back....)