David Letterman's Old-Man McCain Jokes

Several nights this past week David Letterman riffed on various presidential candidates. Both Wednesday and Thursday he did a few minutes monologue that alternated between Ralph Nader and John McCain "he looks like the kind of guy who..." jokes. Condensed for easy viewing, here are Letterman's funniest McCain jokes from those monologues. (ex. "McCain looks like the kind of guy who spends all day in the coffee shop of a municipal golf course.")

Watch:

Letterman Jokes about John McCain http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid1435443589http://www.brightcove.com/channel.jsp?channel=1178199204

Comments

[MIHOP]

John McCain looks like the kind of guy who finished fifth from the bottom of his class at the Air Force Academy and then says, "I was trying to see what I could get away with without getting kicked out."

[pfc1369]

You sound like the kind of guy who thinks McCain attended the Air Force Academy.

[MIHOP]

He flew planes...i­t's an honest, understandable mistake.

[Viper]

McCain attended the Naval Academy. He was 5th from the bottom of the class and heavy drinker and partier. He ended up flying because the Navy decided that planes are cheaper than boats to replace. He of course did crash a couple of planes. Its not like he was ever a war ace, although he may have helped some one on the other side become one.

He is to be respected highly for his service and what he endured. And he was no coward, nor was he much of a pilot, at least when compared to George Bush who never got shot down over Texas!

Much of the elderly dont want the country handed over to some one who they will likley end up sharing a bed pan with at some point!

Us middle aged guys who know about aging are trying to make the point, how absurd it is to give the toughest job in the world fisrt to an idiot and then next to a guy in his 70s, whose plans for the futre is from a 1950s play book!

Most of the comedians making the jokes are not spring chickens! We know, what McCain will not admit... its time to play golf not President. We dont allow 75 year old commercial pilots.. if you cant do that at 75, you certainly should not be president at 75. Funny the Constituion says you must be at least 35... our founding fathers for got the other end... maybe they thought that after 65 a mans reason would be self limiting.

Regards.

[MIHOP]

John McCain looks like the kinda guy who needs help finding his slippers.

[MIHOP]

John McCain looks like the kinda you see walking down the street, muttering and begging you to elect him President!

[MIHOP]

John McCain is the kinda guy who'd make a lousy President.

[MIHOP]

When John McCain answers the 3AM phone call, he'll say, "just a minute, I need to change my Depends!"

[MIHOP]

John McCain is the kinda guy who gets mugged by Rove and turns and hugs Bush.

[naschkatze]

Wasn't that sickening? That's no joke.

[bigironal25]

If John McCain wasn't such an ass-munch,no one would be making fun of this dried up ,old,peice of skin,who,by the way,not only wants more war,this ass hole thinks it's funny!Bomb­,bomb,Iran­.This guy not only needs to retire, he needs to be heavily sedated for "ONE HUNDRED YEARS'!!!

[John]

As a long-time David Letterman watcher who remembers what a far younger version looked like, I'd have to say that he is starting to look like 'the kind of guy who..."

[wmbear]

I WAS GOING TO SAY...

It's a bit like the pot calling the kettle black....

[Barbwire]

Oh, come on! I'm retired, and I can laugh at old-people jokes. However, I sure as hell don't want an old man as president. I have seven grandchildren, and I want them to have a decent country, a healthy environment, no wars for oil, etc. Obama for president!

[naschkatze]

It's way past the time to "pass the torch", eh?

[VivaZapata]

letterman isn't very smart. at mccain's age he could die at any moment. think how bad letterman would feel then.

[Gusto]

John McCain looks like the kind of guy that farts dust......­.....

[adzeman]

John McCains motto? Never trust a fart!

[flydoghead]

John McCain looks like the kind of president that comedy writers would
love to have for the next four years.

[thirteen13]

Osama bin Laden prays to Alla that John McCain is "awarded" the next president of the United States of America by the US Supreme Court.

War glorious war, endless war, mindless war = BANKRUPT AMERICA!

al Qaeda is sucking us dry.

[Annette]

And the neo cons can't see it. Bin Laden wanted to draw us into a war in the mid east, bankrupt us and damage our military. Well they are doing it and the neo- cons just don't see it.
They are amazingly dumb.

[Rendon76]

John McCain looks like the kind of guy that doesn't understand that we cannot have a presence in the heart of the Arab world and that we should have never gone in there because it only means only more of our young people dying for a false policy.

[VivaZapata]

he does understand. that's why he's willing to stay for a hundred years if necessary. that's why he sings, "bomb, bomb, bomb//bomb iran" to the tune of barbara ann. if only brian wilson would sue him.

[msfiskvletterman]

3/1/08
11:52am
Alexandria, VA

John McCain is so old---he forgot what it's like to be tortured.

[MIHOP]

LOL!