David Letterman's Old-Man McCain Jokes

Several nights this past week David Letterman riffed on various presidential candidates. Both Wednesday and Thursday he did a few minutes monologue that alternated between Ralph Nader and John McCain "he looks like the kind of guy who..." jokes. Condensed for easy viewing, here are Letterman's funniest McCain jokes from those monologues. (ex. "McCain looks like the kind of guy who spends all day in the coffee shop of a municipal golf course.")

Watch:

Letterman Jokes about John McCain http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid1435443589http://www.brightcove.com/channel.jsp?channel=1178199204

Comments

[iPolitics]

McCain's love for war is unmatched.

[naschkatze]

You sure Hillary is not going to try?

[degjack]

Any old man like John McCain who wants MORE war rather than LESS war should terrify EVERYBODY!
Death and destruction over life and rebuilding? How sick is that?

[thirteen13]

Didn't this guy drop napalm and bombs in Vietnam?

Didn't we leave the Vietnamese to themselves?

Don't we trade with Vietnam now?

You have to ask yourself, what would you do if you caught the person destroying your homeland.

If I caught him then, he would not be singing bomb, bomn, bomb Iran now.

[amorvincitomnia]

I don't know why but whenever Senator McCain speaks I'm reminded of Elmer Fudd.

[schmuckwithearlaps]

Hope you are enjoying yourself. Let's go over the formula one more time, please.

Old man=voter
Making fun of old men=McCain wins.

Please take some advice from someone roughly McCain's age.
We all vote. Every one of us.
We are tired of age jokes and like them just as much as Rev. Sharpton likes the N word
We have money to start Democrats for McCain chapters in every community in America.

Do we still look like Elmer Fudd to you? You will probably say yes. Hope you enjoy the next eight years of right wing hell.

[STParker]

Are you threatening to elect McCain out of spite?

[DRHoen]

I agree, ageism is no better than any other -ism. But don't you think it might be time to pay attention to what the new generation wants? The kind of attitude you present contributes to the very ageism you decry.

[amorvincitomnia]

You totally misunderstood my comment. I wasn't referring to older men in general, just Senator McCain. It's the way he speaks not his age or appearance.

[Chandidevi]

From NBC's Lisa Myers and Jim Popkin
Sen. Hillary Clinton has declined to return $170,000 in campaign contributions from individuals at a company accused of widespread sexual harassment, and whose CEO is a disbarred lawyer with a criminal record, federal campaign records show.

The federal government has accused the Illinois management consulting firm, International Profit Associates, or IPA, of a brazen pattern of sexual harassment including "sexual assaults," "degrading anti-female language" and "obscene suggestion­s."

In a 2001 lawsuit full of lurid details, the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission claims that 103 women employees at IPA were victimized for years. The civil case is ongoing, and IPA vigorously denies the allegations.

"This is by far, hands down, the worst case I've ever experienced," said Diane Smason, one of the EEOC lawyers handling the lawsuit. "Every woman there experienced sex harassment, they were part of a hostile work environment of sex harassment. And this occurred from the top down."

[angelwax]

I take offense at all of the these old man jokes being told about John McCain. I'm and old guy too and I um, what were we talking about again?

[naschkatze]

LOL

[PerryWhite]

Letterman looks like the late night talk show host who can't beat Leno in the ratings even with Leno having to produce his show with a picket line and no writers.

[MIHOP]

Yeah, but he's a heckuva lot funnier than you!

[EspritDeVoltaire]

Letterman looks like John McCain with a tan and a hairpiece.

[MIHOP]

Except he doesn't have a hairpeice and he does have his wits!

[kevindavid]

John McCain looks like the kind of guy who badmouths lobbyists and then surrounds himself with them.

[MissingAmerica]

All true! Again, a possibility of a president we would have to laugh at in order to survive! He forgot one: John McCain looks like the kind of guy we DON'T need in the leadership of what's left of the free world!

[elkabong]

Damn teenagers with their pocket calculators and their color TVs!

[Kally]

HEY that old man Letterman sure knows how to make OLD man jokes doesn't he. I guess experience pays in that case.

[ProFromOre]

..that says, "look.." and then proceeds to tell YOU what to think.

[sa]

john mccain looks like the kind a guy that:

cares about "fiber."
waves to strangers from his front porch.
checks "early bird specials" in the weekly flyer.
flew a jet, got tortured, then condoned torture.
was a war vet and saw the horrors of war, then, wanted more war.

looked at america, and saw that
the hanoi hilton and paris hilton were the same.
and ran for president, as if nothing mattered to anyone.

[adecker31]

This might be the best poem
I've ever read in a comments section!
It's smart, a tiny bit subtle
And hits the high points
Without falling into the low points.

John McCain is a perfectly nice guy
With perfectly proper opinions
to voice to a neighbor from the driveway
while washing the car.

There's a flag on the porch
And later there's golf.
Complain about how people don't work
hard enough

And how they don't remember
things like sacrifice anymore.
A good roast for dinner
God knows how many assistants
To tell you how to style your hair.

It's all about pretending
Because the reality's at Willets Point
and on the corners of the Mission
early in the morning,
when the illegals wait around the street corners
waiting for the pick-ups
that might give them work.

Sacrifice isn't a chapter in those lives,
it is those lives. And we sit around
and talk about abstract principles
so we don't have to do anything
for all our lives.

McCain's sitting pretty,
The Democrats do their usual
suicide dance -
it would be nice if there were some real
attempts to trace the consequences -
not in dollars, not in philosophy -
but in lives: my students,
some of them - the poverty drips off them,
their jerseys, when they wear them
of stars from the late 1990s.

Their poverty drips off them
and there's more poverty underneath.
John McCain's on his porch
which is everywhere he is,
he's washing cars
and talking about how important it is
to love America. So love all of it, John.

[suntzu]

John McCain is the kind of a guy who looks in the mirror, and says, "My friends...­."

[ProFromOre]

as Dave L was saying, it's the my thing..

[Annette]

Says that a lot doesn't he, I think he is forgetting a lot of his speeches. Fills in the gaps with My Friends.

[Virago55]

That IS John McCain in a nutshell. Thanks Dave.