Dr. Laura Blames Spitzer's Wife

Eliot Spitzer loves him some whores! How did it ever happen? What drove him to risk his career and marriage? And what does it say about the rest of us? These are the big questions taken up by the Today Show, and look who they got to answer them! Dr. Laura Schlessinger, that's who? Wondering if she said anything vaguely reprehensible? Yeah, kinda she did!

VIEIRA: Do you think women play any role in this, Dr. Laura?

SCHLESSINGER: It's interesting. what you said about what men need -- men do need validation. When they come into the world they're born of a woman. Getting the validation from mommy is the beginning of needing it from a woman. When the wife does not focus in on the needs and the feelings sexually, personally, to make him feel like a man, to make him feel like a success, to make him feel like our hero, he's very susceptible to the charm of some other woman making him feel what he needs. These days, women don't spend a lot of time thinking about how they can give their men what they need.

VIEIRA: Are you saying women should feel guilty, like they somehow drove the man to cheat?

SCHLESSINGER: You know what, the cheating was his decision to repair what's damaged, and to feed himself where he's starving. But, yes, I hold women accountable for tossing out perfectly good men by not treating them with the love and kindness and respect and attention they need.

Meredith Vieira did a wonderful job throughout, pretending to be shocked when Schlessinger answered her question with the nutball response she expected when she specifically prompted Dr. Laura to let loose. Strangely, though, Schlessinger's contribution to the discourse wasn't the weirdest. That came from anthropologist Helen Fisher, who, while laudably rejecting the notion that Spitzer's transgressions were anyone's fault but his own, nevertheless added: "All you have to do is look at Eliot Spitzer. He has a high cheekbone and low brow ridges. Those are signs of very high testosterone."

So there you have a solid range of opinion! Either Spitzer's testosterone-fueled forehead should have tipped everyone off, or Silda Spitzer should have provided her husband with "attention." The more you know!

[Watch.]

Comments

[NotMyPrez]

Dr. Laura would have fit in at Salem,Mass about 1670 AD.

[mamacat]

Give me a break.

[irv]

why is it that after adultery exposes by men, women are interviewed on t.v., newsmagazines & the like in numbers far in the majority to men. who designated them as experts on mens needs & their physical & mental makeups? this culture has become so feminized that men apparently need women to define them. what a crock of s**t. i believe SOME men are genetically programed to this type of conduct. all the rest is b.s.!

[zendem1]

Dr. Laura took another huge bong hit, then concluded the interview:'Well, Mer, it's like this..us gals gotta put out, or our boys won't stay on the porch. It's that simple. It's our responsibility to put the freak on in a major way. He shouldn't have to fork out 5 grand for something he should get at home for free. Evidently wifey-poo wasn't getting it done."

[chendri887]

I thought phrenology was considered a "pseudosci­ence." I guess at the university where Helen Fisher got her PhD, it's still taught as a science? Who wudda thunk?

[streettabby]

Dr. Laura is below contempt here. I wonder how many husbands and wives she has discussed this with before she concocts her generalities. She makes women look like clueless losers and men like needy, whiny little boys.

[andhakari]

Visiting the friendly neighborhood hooker and getting a BJ for 50 is about sexual release. Having an affair with someone you care for might be about unfulfilled emotional needs. Both might involve frustration within a marriage. But hiring a megabuck call-girl is just about ego, an ego that is beyond the limits of what any man or woman can be expected to feed as part of a normal relationship.

[moodyring]

"You know what, the cheating was his decision to repair what's damaged, and to feed himself where he's starving..­.."

What the f-ck? Am I on a different planet? His adultery was his attempt to repair what's damaged??

I don't even know what to say.

[procrustes]

"I don't even know what to say." Clearly.

Dr. Laura is sort of right in her condescending feminine way, but it's not about mommy. All things are not about women. Men have a physical need to spread their seed (the rap was unintentional) that if not met results in physical damage. Go check the AMA journals before you get shrill.

Good marriages evolve from hot passion to deep friendship; unfortunately, deep friendship doesn't service physical need. Blaming women is off-base. Marriage is a classical Darwinian default for survival of the species that is no longer appropriate. It's an appendix. We need better ways to provide and protect children that making women dependent on men and men responsible for women.

[Portmanteaux]

His marriage was obviously a sham. Happily married men...myse­lf included do not find the prospect of hooking up with a paid escort enticing. Those of us who actually 'got laid' in high school and college and lived out some of that in the appropriate years of our lives actually value our wives and like the fact that we can trust them and they can also trust us.

[Bibbo]

You dont get Dr. Laura....w­hen you dont understand there's a strong tendency to "project" motives in an attempt to make sense of another person...v­oila...the villification of Dr. Laura. It reminds me of the "passion story" that all christians are familiar with but only understand in a superficial way. You are not on another planet(please your language!!!!) but as Christ said "My kingdom is not of this world". This is what you dont get and why you sense such "distance" (ie another planet). If you hate Dr Laura...be advised and be careful...­you have no idea what's really going on in this debate.Lau­ra gets to the root issues in human behavior. She figures out what motivates people and why they do as they do. Her conclusions are often unflattering of the people involved. She calls selfish behavior what it is...littl­e surprise that a selfish personality would feel unfairly criticized by being called selfish.Li­sten to Dr. Laura on the radio and what gets her all fired up. Its the abuse and neglect of kids. If you get this you get Dr Laura all the rest is the shreaking and yelling of the narcicists that she exposes. The gov.(Spriz­er) is likely a narcicistic personalit­y...but Laura is suggesting that his wife may be cut from the same cloth...th­ats all. It makes sense that there may be a little pathology in the wife....wh­y would she tollerate him so long....A narcicisstic personality doesn't start in your 40's but its been on display a long time. Often its masked but the people in the immediate family circle know something is "wrong" with the person.Bil­l Clintons serial infidelities(still going on?) are an example of this persoanality disorder. Some things just seem so clear and easy to see...why is it that so few see the truth.? BTW..have a nice day.

[MicahBrwn]

Dr. Laura is the one on a different planet.

[maryartemis]

How about responding to the notion.

[moodyring]

Nah, I'd rather let you do that. After all, you responded to my question with another question and then you ended your question with a period - intelligence like that gets me excited. I'd rather you enlighten me about how to respond to the notion.

[realpolitic]

We are under no obligation to respond to every notion out there. We would be spending our time doing nothing else. That's why it is called a marketplace of ideas, some things you buy and some you just throw back in the pile. This "idea" definitely goes back into the pile of rejects.

[Triangle1]

Considering Dr. Laura is against gays and lesbians adopting children, unless those children have no other better options and as a last resort, I'm surprised she's playing devil's advocate. I guess since she had her own scandal involving "adult photos" a couple years ago on some level she can relate to his experience. I think prostitution is far more common than most people seem to think, even if it's as simple as a "massage and release" from a Craigslist posting. I think you could take almost anyone on the planet, shine a microscope on their lives, and come away with plenty of scandalous things. The ones who are the best at keeping secrets are the ones who appear most saintly.

[yoyo1959]

"Dr." Laura Schlesinger is a whack job....

[w&cheneysuck]

And didn't she appear nude somewhere? How does this make her the expert? She doesn't have the best moral compass either! LOL! What a JOKE!

[maryartemis]

Probably not...but it is an interesting turn of phrase given the subject at hand.

[wolfgangmo]

Ad hominum.

Not a logical comment. What about her thesis? Or do you discount all ideas you disagree with by attacking the person presenting it? Hmmmm?

Is yoyo secretly related to KKKarlRove?

[Hitsong]

Don't mind if she's nuts. It's the evil part that I find so irksome.

[Malpieter]

I couldn't agree with you more. Prostitution is no one's idea of healthy behaviour, but I also think it's much more common than the Average Joe might believe. And I couldn't agree more with this line of yours:

"I think you could take almost anyone on the planet, shine a microscope on their lives, and come away with plenty of scandalous things."

Ain't that ever the truth? Everyone's lives are riddled with mistakes, regrets (or at least acknowledgments of unhealthy behaviour), periods of poor judgments, and the like. The minute that your career places you in the public eye, or your career propels you to a position of power, so that the public will eventually take notice of you is when these types of behaviour are labeled as 'scandalous'.

How many 'sex scandals' doesn't the man on the street have? How many people haven't made use of the services of a sex worker, in whatever capacity? I highly doubt that when your best friend tells you that he cheated on his wife, that you will years later refer to that event as a 'sex scandal'.

[AurigaRa]

another celebrity caught with their pants down who never shuts up

[maryartemis]

I don't think she's playing devil's advocate. She really believes that women today are more apt to think of their own pleasure than that of their husband.

[squarebird]

Um, Dr. Laura is not REMOTELY against gays and lesbians and adopting children. You obviously have never listened to her program. As far as what she is saying today, it is simply common sense. She isn't saying that this is the reason this particular man hired prostitutes, indeed she is not even saying that hiring prostitutes is wrong. She is responding to a very specific question to say that in today's society, as opposed to the past, wives certainly do not give as much time or due respect to their husbands. That is an absolute fact, one that my own wife would not dispute.
That inherently results in looser marital bonds which make it easier for men such as Spitzer to rationalize his actions. Dr. Laura is NOT saying the rationalization is an excuse, merely that it is a rationalizatoin.
Rob in Arlington.

[PacificGatePost]

Is he not further abusing his wife by dragging her up to the podium? Does she look like she has a clue of what has just hit her?

http://pacificgatepost.blogspot.com/2008/03/ethics-where-art-thou.html

Narcissism is blinding.

[ME08]

Why do these men always bring wife up for their public humiliation that is not necessary.­..say what you will, but Bill didn't do it with Hill...alt­hough if he had, she probably would have decked him when he said "I did not have sexual relations with that woman".

[957]

Why do the wife's always go up there with them?

[Rumplestiltskin]

That is a pretty strange comment. You make it sound as if the woman is not an independent adult. She chose to appear with her spouse. He didn't "bring" her unless she allows herself to be dominated by him.

[theordinaryhuman]

What are you guys 12? You guys must not be married. She is, and will be publicly humiliated whether she stands at Senator Sptizer’s side for the public conference or not, it makes no difference. And of course she has a clue what hit her, she is not some average, run-of-the-mill, common house wife. I understand that in today’s media filled world people no longer feel mistakes are a human trait, their just stupid decision considered to be made by stupid people, although we all make them all the time. But let’s stick to the point of Senator Spitzer cheating and his wife standing by his side at the press conference. Now this might come as a shock to some of you, but when people get married they make a promise to each other be there for that person through good times and bad, and it’s through the real f*ck up times that proves the true strength of a relationship. She will have enough time to put him in his place on her own time and in privacy, even if that means divorcing the man. In the real world sometimes you have to suck up your ego to do what you believe is right, that’s exactly what families are all about.

[Horst]

Speaking of public humiliatio­n...there are nude pics of the good doctor all over the internet.

[GhostintheMachine]

She was standing right next to him. So it was OK when Bill did it?

[maryartemis]

I totally agree that it is abusive to drag her up there. Thank you for saying that.

[realpolitic]

Yes, he should have the courage to go up there alone.

[dolphy]

Libsrule See Profile I'm a Fan of Libsrule

She has a weekly column in our local paper The Santa Barbara News Press, and it is always a column that makes you want to scream at the paper for allowing such a braindead, soulless, heartless piece of cow dung to get paid to write her hate filled and condescending pieces of tripe. I usually pass on reading her tripe, but occasionally, I guess when my self esteem is lacking, I start to read her column and it perks me right up. Her lies, her half truths, her heartless attitude etc, always makes realize that my country is worth fighting for to keep morons like her from having any real sway over the electorate.

Don't get me started on that....--­----------­----Sort of reading Debra Saunders' crap every Thursday in the SF Chronicle?

[Beachrat]

Hey, (dr. ?) laura, often wrong, but never uncertain, thats her. why anyone after all these years cares what she says is beyond me.

[realpolitic]

Who does? It has little but pure entertainment value.

[Bibbo]

Dolphy

With all due respect...­.you are an idiot. Not said in condemnation but in an attempt to furnish much needed self knowledge.­Not furnished to humiliate but rather to rehabilita­te...its all up to you.

[maryartemis]

funny, I kinda see her the other way, as fending off souless creatures that really don't know the basics about how to defend someone.

[squarebird]

The Washington Post doesn't carry Dr. Laura's column .. but if you equating it to Debra Saunder's column, that is high praise indeed. If you are unable to grasp Saunder's arguments, and only perceive it as "crap", that reflects very negatively on you, and only serves to devalue your own commentary.

Rob in Arlington.

[VOTER]

The only reason I clicked on the article was to find out which stupid network interviewed

Dr. Laura.

NBC- The Today Show. :- /

Thank god for C-span!

[paixa3]

Typical fucked up american psychologist views.....­ask Dr. Dobson..no­w....there is a real nut case.

Peace to you today...

[maryartemis]

C-span is just as evil.

[rainey]

Yes! They should ALL have her attitude.

And they should all have the naked pix from the period in their lives when they were sleeping their way to the top on the internet too. Then, for good measure, they should have psychotic sons who post ugly, hateful and demented things on the internet. And then they should go on all the media they can to tell other people how to live their lives.

[Trittydi]

Right on all counts. And with no credentials to do so either.

*

[AnswerToJob]

My Thought EXACTLY.
Those NASTY pictures still available on the web, google away.
WHAT a piece of work. I enjoy picking her books up for 50c ripping them in half and leaving the pieces displayed somewhere visible, same for that real blonde? with the Adams apple, Coulter.

[SILVANUS]

yeah yeah

[maryartemis]

Now that is senseless hostility lest you have lost the ability to judge behavior.

[maryartemis]

huh?

[SolarPowerGuy]

Gosh. After reading THAT, I'm almost ashamed that I've spent any energy defending Eliot Spitzer's right to stay in office.

Dr. Laura is yet another agent of that uniquely American mental illness, that makes people want to poke and pry into everyone else's sex lives.

[ME08]

Chalk it up to the likes of Karl Rove who loves prying into people's lives...th­e Peeping Tom Syndrome that also explains the sick obsession with reality shows, where we have to hear about people we neither care about or want to care about.

Dr. Laura is an insufferable clown...do­es she blame herself for her divorce from HER husband?

[SolarPowerGuy]

Peeping Tom Politics is older than Karl Rove. Kenneth Starr deserves credit for kicking off its latest run at the box office.

[DELICIOUS]

THE OLD SAYING STILL GOES...IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO. APPARENTLY SOMETHING HAD GONE WRONG IN THE MARRIAGE OR THE MAN CAN HAVE A SEX ADDICTION, JUST LIKE SMOKING, DRINKING AND DRUGS. BY THE WAY I HATE REALITY SHOWS. THE ONLY THING LIVE I WATCH ARE THE NEWS AND THE WEATHER.

[RedWhiteandBrooklyn]

Oh, no! That was the fault of
1) the Liberal Media
2) the homosexual agenda
or
3) Bill Clinton.

[maryartemis]

As far as I know, she is still married to Mr. Schlessinger. If you are talking about a prior marriage, I always say. . . .learn from your mistakes. If she has a lesson to teach others, power to her. I know I do.

Her commend regarding the women not paying attention to their men is viable. However, it doesn't excuse his behavior or both of theirs for choosing such a soulless life. Deal with that one!

[SolarPowerGuy]

Another reply went down the black hole, let me try to repost it:

Karl Rove didn't invent Peeping Tom politics, though he's certainly very good at it. The Moral Majority crowd eats it up. Beginning with Kenneth Starr, the American political system has been tuned into The Peeping Channel 24/7 -- and now they've lost the remote.

[maryartemis]

I agree with your notion that people should not poke into or overly characterize other people's sex lives. It really is a private affair. But, you see, when you elect someone to office, you actually do have the right to not like them if they are screwing around on their wives.

[squarebird]

No, if you listen to her program, you will learn that she is exactly opposed to that. The interviewer is the one who did the probing and prodding, Dr. Laura was answering a question, and did not refer to Spitzer in any way, shape or manner. Once we get national healthcare .. now THAT is the time to start worring about the electorate poking and prying into everyone's sex lives, along with other health and body issues.

[Trittydi]

I don't know if there are words for how irretrievably stupid this woman is.

She's a complete and utter fraud. A waste of anyone's time to listen to her.

*

[maryartemis]

Actually the opposite is true.

[renoir]

this is pure and unadulterated pre-feminism drivel... very victorian. men are not able to control their sexual urges therefore women must rise above it all and fix everything. men's infidelities are not their own... they are a comment on their wives failures. the failure of all men rest directly on the women they are associated with and it's their job to fix it and then make certain that men's egos are not dented in the process. look. sometimes sex is just sex! what the hell? and sometimes spouses suffer because their partner engaged in very selfish and/or self-destructive behavior. let's analyze the man for a moment, shall we? or no. that might make too much sense for dr. laura. clearly she's a freudian analyst - rushing to blame the woman for all her man's transgressions. she's just bitch-crazy. but i sort of agree with maryartemis because i think it's important to keep our eyes on the nutballs. IF that's what maryartemis meant....

[DocJ]

Yes, Trittydi, Schlessinger is a fraud. Her PhD is not in human behavior, so she is technically not qualified to give advice to humans; as such, she was barred from joining the American Psychological Association, the major credentialling organization in the field.

FWIW, Joyce Brothers was kicked out of the APA many years ago for a similar offense, and, like Laura, is still laughing all the way to the bank.

There are endless examples of Laura's hypocrisy, arrogance, and ineptitude in her own primary relationships (Dr. "Family Values" didn't speak to her own mother for how many years?).

But there will always be snake-oil dispensers like Laura. What disturbs me more are all those callers who line up for her abuse, and the listeners who revel in their humiliation. Neither appetite says much for our society...