John Mayer Likes Xanax, Is Just Looking For A Wife

John Mayer sat down with Best Life magazine for an interview, and revealed one of his constant companions: Xanax:

In his early twenties, however, some­thing shifted inside that private little self-created world of his. He won't say exactly what happened, only that on one specific day, he realized that "you can create dark neighborhoods in your mind as easily as you can create rural wonderlands. And the day I realized that was one of the worst days of my life. It sent me on quite a spin. I went on a bender. An anxiety bender." Which is why he keeps Xanax in his pocket even now: "Because there are these incidental kinds of loopholes in my brain, where the wires can cross for a second and the hard drive crashes."

He also worries about finding a wife:

"I think about my wife all the time," says Mayer. "I kind of obsess on it, and what I want to find is a person who can speak those kinds of magic words. I mean 'No complaints' is a great way to live. Also, I want a woman who doesn't hear 'How are you?' as 'I would like you to come up with something dramatic now that will allow me to sit in front of you and give you more attention than I would have if you had just said 'No complaints.' When I find the person I can relate to on that level and who is also a pinup and who also says 'Can I please take pictures of your ass?' then I am going to get married to her. That I can promise you."

But there is one small hitch, and it bedevils Mayer day and night, because it's largely out of his control.

"My fear," he says, "is that I go up to the girl of my dreams and say, 'I'm sorry, but I've got to say hello to you,' and she slides the stool back and gets up and walks away, saying, 'Not for me, Bub. I don't want anything to do with you.' And she says that because of something in my past. I mean, I know how to be a celebrity. I know how to be a guy on the street. I know how to roll with the punches. I know how to do the whole thing. And my past is actually pretty sterling. But when I think about my wife, I worry. I worry about what she thinks when she reads about me in US Weekly. It's all vapor, nothing, ether. But I worry about it. I worry about what she thinks."

Comments

[pinkyboo]

Awwww! He wants a "pin up" how very un-shallow of him!!

[mirandawilde]

Reading what he has said he makes me feel physically ill. My thoughts are based on what he has said here, but also on what he's said in other interviews and the things written on his blog.
He sounds like a true narcissist looking for a woman to serve his needs- by listening to him whine about his "dark neighborhoods" in his soul- and then shut up about any needs she may have. Any woman that he finds who will actually do that- he'll find fault with her because he's not going to have any respect for a woman who truly loves him and his devoted to him. Even a "pin-up" will end up wondering why she isn't enough for him.
He may eventually find someone, but only when and if he makes a serious inquiry- that means throw out the Xanax - about why he's so profoundly self-absorbed. Of course, there are many, many people in this country who are similarly affected, and the good news about that is that there is much literature on the subject of narcissism and many therapists who understand.
The problem with those most seriously affected, though, is that they don't see anything wrong with the idea that other people should serve their needs, and they are not likely to read these books or seek therapy. And why would you, when there is likely to be a long list of "pin-ups" waiting breathlessly to be proclaimed "the one?"
My guess is that without effective counseling he (and the many, many men like him in this country) will be well into his fifties or sixties before he seeks help and is ready for a truly devoted partner. Until then, I can only pray for the string of women who will try desperately to be "the woman of his dreams." They will live a nightmare.

[nuglet304]

he's a complete nut. but i love him anyway.

[kellygrrrl]

all songwriters are addicted to ANGST

their real fear is that one day they might just be happy and have nothing to write anymore.

[jadez]

great insight.
btw, i didnt know EVERY song ever written was a downer.

you are brilliant

[SILVANUS]

True. After 300 songs I have the same problem. It's just that people can only take so many jubilant songs, it seems. Humans love drama.

[tigersk8r]

Following would be great song lyrics John:

"I know how to be a celebrity. I know how to be a guy on the street. I know how to roll with the punches. I know how to do the whole thing. And my past is actually pretty sterling. But when I think about my wife, I worry. I worry about what she thinks when she reads about me"

[Modamantoo]

Damn.

Lose the regrets, regret is living in the past.
Lose the anxiety. anxiety is worry about the future.

See what you can do about being in the now.

[RogerHWerner]

Buddhists have a wonderful belief that says in effect if something is out of your control why worry about it. This is of course much easier said then done. Hopefully as Mayer grows older he will come to accept his failings as a human and stop worry about what is not in his control. Mayer is a brilliant musician and that he said what he did is a testimony to the man's personal honesty. Everyone has inner demons but how many are willing to discuss them openly?

[signifyingnothing]

In reading this, I just learned what it must be like to be a really bored and incredulous therapist. Only I wasn't being paid.

[PMSBarbie]

me too

[fcsakes]

me three

[Pippilangstrumpf]

I agree, signify...
A pre-req to being a celebrity is to have the time and inclination to be so self focused that you lose sight of what's important and what is real.
He should spend a year in Darfur, or an orphanage in Romania, then he might see what a real 'dark neighborhood' is....or even here in this country, say....doi­ng something like building houses for Houses for Humanity..­..I'll bet that he would forget about that little bottle of xanax. He wouldn't even have the time to take it out of his pocket, open it and toss the pill into his blubbering pie-hole.
He wouldn't be able to even open the bottle, after whacking his fingers with a hammer.
He might realize that there are a lot more important things in this world than wanting a woman who desires to photograph your lily white ass...seri­ously...I would want to marry a man who has a commitment to the world, not a commitment to having his ass photographed and framed by a mate or dependence on a bottle of tranquilizers.