You know, we've long maintained that the fact that Glenn Beck occupies significant turf on CNN's airwaves constitutes a de facto abuse of platform. But you don't have to believe that to admit that Beck, by far, clutters up the channel with more pure clownshow nonsense than any other newsman (using that term loosely!) in the primetime hours.

Yesterday was a good example of Beck providing content that simply fails to improve upon staring at a broken television. It wasn't necessarily when he disparaged the concept of expanding health care by saying that Americans "want to succeed, not just survive." It wasn't when he declared we were soon to become a "European socialist state." It wasn't when he tried comparing the Federal Reserve to Paris Hilton. And it wasn't when he invited a mentalist on to discuss the David Copperfield rape allegations. No: this show managed to find a cavern somewhere below rock bottom when Beck suggested that the accidental shipment of nuclear triggers to Taiwan suggested a conspiracy to promote the Olympics.

BECK:How exactly -- where did I put those nuclear triggers? Why are we shipping them. Who`s shipping them? How did it happen? Sending nuclear triggers to Taiwan. Kind of a big deal because it might piss China off just a bit.

Apparently, we've decided antagonizing companies that have 1.3 billion people, not a good idea question was, why do we ship these triggers? The bigger question to me is they're nuclear triggers. Why would we put them in a box in the first place and then send them to Taiwan. I do have a theory, it`s the only one that makes sense. The Olympics are coming up, right? Nobody seems to care. You know, back in the '80s, when I was growing up in the 70s, we had the Soviet Union, it was fun to root against them. You know, would we boycott those Olympics? No. Would they boycott ours? No.

The miracle of ice happened, right? People cared about the Olympics. It was great, we had an enemy. Well, we're still acting now like Russia is our friend, they're not and Al Qaeda doesn't really have a strong 400-meter relay team despite all the training they seem to produce with the monkey bars. That's weird but we'll get into that later. So, why not ignite tension by sending nuclear triggers to China's enemy. And suddenly, everybody cares about the triple jump again.

Okay. That whole thing with the mentalist was pretty bad, too. Anyway, thanks, CNN! I'm sure that there wasn't any story of significance you could have talked about.