1. These days, you can barely muster the energy to punch each other.
2. Your engagement ring is made of calamari.
3. Your friends refer to you as "Biggie" and "Tupac."
4. You keep a "Go Bag" at his apartment.
5. You finish each other's silences.
6. The erotic highlight of your week is "Whip It Out Wednesday."
7. You think fondly of the sanitation worker who called your butt "redonkulous" this morning.
8. You take separate sexcations.
9. You're making it work for the sake of her stuffed animals.
10. He's stopped flipping over his grandmother's portrait before sex.