Obama Urges Parental Responsibility

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JIM KUHNHENN | April 11, 2008 07:11 AM EST | AP


Democratic presidential hopeful Sen. Barack Obama D-Ill., speaks during a town hall meeting at Theodore Roosevelt High School in Gary, Ind., Thursday, April 10, 2008. (AP Photo/Alex Brandon)

GARY, Ind. — The standard Barack Obama venue lately has been high schools. Truman High School, Theodore Roosevelt High School, Jefferson High School.

The Democratic presidential candidate has been pitching an audience-pleasing message of economic populism to crowds of a few thousand packed into each gymnasium. But he gets some of his loudest applause when he segues to education _ and a bit of a lecture to mothers and fathers on how to be parents.

Sure, there is the usual critique of current government policies. But the cheering peaks with a dose of tough talk.

"Parents if you don't parent, we can't improve our schools," he said. "You've got to parent. You've got to turn off the television set in your house once in a while, you've got to put the video game away once in a while."

Obama, who aspires to be the first black president, dwells a little longer on the subject with predominantly black audiences, as he did Thursday in this economically struggling city in the south shore of Lake Michigan.

"You should have a curfew in your house so your children aren't out in the streets all night. You should meet with the teacher and find out what the homework is and help that child with the homework. And if you don't know how to do the homework, don't be embarrassed, find someone to help you."

"Fathers, be fathers," he added. "Be a part of your child's life. Be a part of your child's life and try to make them proud.

"And the last thing is, if your child is misbehaving at school don't curse out the teacher. You know who you are. It's not the teacher's fault that your child is misbehaving. That's some home training."

The crowd reacted raucously and Obama laughed. "You know what I say is true, though. Don't blame the teachers, and the government and the schools if you're not doing your job."

That assessment of responsibility is a variation of a sentiment he expressed last month in his speech on race in Philadelphia.

Obama's self-help message has a broader political appeal, blending a socially conservative solution with his more liberal view that government can and should do more to improve the lot of Americans. And the appeal to fathers is rooted in his own experience, a doting father himself who was raised by his mother and a grandmother after his father left the family when he was 2.

For Obama _ and for voters _ his race has a double edge. In the speech on race on March 18, he noted that he has been variously deemed "too black" or "not black enough." In primary after primary, he wins the vast share of the black vote. Yet his race also represents a transitional, even historic, moment for the country and the presidential contest so far proves he has defied simple racial pigeonholing.

So while Obama may be the politician with the best credentials to speak candidly and admonish the black community, he also has worked vigorously to present himself as the presidential candidate who happens to be black rather than the black candidate.

Obama can display a comfortable ease with an audience and can riff off a crowd, no matter the skin hue. But these freelance exchanges are all the more noticeable when he is speaking to blacks _ and he gets away with stereotypes that might cause offense coming from another candidate.

He'll make reference to "cousin Pookie" _ a fictional layabout whom he urges supporters to "get off the couch."

Asked Thursday by a student in Gary to discuss the shrinking value of the dollar, Obama said it was a symptom of a trade imbalance and a burgeoning debt.

"We've been borrowing money like nobody's business from China," he said. "We're like that cousin who always comes and never seems to have a job. He's out there buying new rims on his car, but can't pay the rent."

In white suburban schools in Pennsylvania and Indiana, he offers sobering words for college-bound students, whom he says on the one hand want affordable education but also expect colleges to provide a high quality of life.

"You're going to have to be better consumers of higher education," he told one student in Malvern, Pa., who said she faced a $45,000 a year tuition. "When I was going to school, we knew the food was going to be bad. The gym didn't have all the state of the art Nautilus equipment."

In Lafayette, Ind., Thursday evening, he expanded, sounding much like a parent at the dinner table.

"There are kids in China and India who are learning an awful lot of math and an awful lot of science with facilities that are a lot worse than the ones we have," he said. "And we have to keep that in mind when we're shopping for schools and encouraging school administrators to cut out the frills."

 
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"So while Obama may be the politician with the best credentials to speak candidly and admonish the black community..."

What cracks me up is the notion that his admonishments apply only to black people. When he says something like, "stop feeding you kids Popeye's chicken for breakfast", alot of white folk say, "he talking to blacks". Meanwhile, some of them are feeding their kids leftover pizza for breakfast.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:10 AM on 04/12/2008

He has given variations of the very same speech to audiences that are mostly white. But, if that were reported in full it wouldn't have the same effect, wouldn't cause you to react as you have, so the media, as usual, has edited, embellished, highlighted and deleted a bit.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:31 AM on 04/12/2008

As i type he is repeating the parent responsibility thing in IN, and its not just black thing its both.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:53 AM on 04/12/2008

It seems like I remember Bill Cosby making the same statements a few years back and Black people drove him into isolation. Jesse Jackson, Sr. also made comments along this line but Obama uses the same words and gets a pass again. What the hell is really going on?
Does he really believe these things or is he playing to the white Republican voters again.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:24 AM on 04/12/2008

i've seen him in person give a variation of this speech in PA and in WV. both were to crowds over 90% white and he got semi-standing ovations and large roars from both crowds. he's right and he is saying things no other politician has said before...not like this. we need to look at ourselves in the mirror to improve and compete against china, india and others.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:15 PM on 04/11/2008

Exactly - and that is one of the things that makes him so exciting. Imagine - an honest politician that tells you what you need to near, not what will get him your vote!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:47 AM on 04/12/2008

I love this message... I myself (African American teacher) see this on a daily basis... the most learning that a chil gets is 56 minutes in class and once they go home, their parents have nothing to do with them learning wise...

And, I don't mean to offend anyone, so I will come and say that not all parents are this way, but a great deal of them are. I especially see it in the African American community. It sad, no matter what race the child happens to be. We as teachers need to be held to a high standard, but we cannot do it alone... we need the parents to step in and be back up for us when their child comes home...

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:43 PM on 04/11/2008
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thank you!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:24 PM on 04/11/2008

my mother is a white teacher who shares similar problems with her students and that is why i support Obama he tells it like it is regardless of who you are.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:40 AM on 04/12/2008

Yes what he said is about word for word what my mom would like to say to the parents of her students. She teaches special needs kids and the school has an option to board the kids during the week because they draw kids statewide. Some of the parents that live less than a mile from the school don't even pick their kids up, and some kids get arrested every weekend. I know alot of these kids and they are all great when they are consistently in a disciplined environment and not getting neglected.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 03:08 AM on 04/12/2008
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I am glad he can talk about family values. The right wingnuts don't have the monopoly any more. Its so refreshing to have a candidate who is a good, decent husband and father. We need role models that we can admire. With all the sex scandals from politicians in recent years, I truly appreciate Obama.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:08 PM on 04/11/2008

I love this man! I love this man! I love this man!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:58 PM on 04/11/2008
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please stop the 3x, 4x 5x stuff- thx-

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:18 PM on 04/11/2008

why, why, why? you own huffpo? great...nice to meet you now, leave people along to do what they want to do. thanks thanks thanks!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:06 PM on 04/11/2008

Gerry S, please stop abbreviating thanks as 'thx'.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 03:01 AM on 04/12/2008

I know i LOVE his lies about 16 mth withdrawl and I LOVE his lies about wright oh and LOVE his lies about Nafta and LOVE his lies about rezko

I LOVE ALL HIS LIES

OBAMA 08

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:48 AM on 04/12/2008

See even Hillary trolls love Obama.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:01 AM on 04/12/2008

Wow, a substantive news article on HuffPo???

You mean, gosh, this is not about Obama spilling his coffee or losing his cell phone or mispronouncing a town name?

For what it's worth, I really appreciate his socially conservative message for parents. He's not against government's role, just doesn't think it is the whole answer.

A perfect balance.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:55 PM on 04/11/2008

I like Obama more and more every time he opens his mouth. I've never felt that way about a candidate before.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:42 PM on 04/11/2008

LOL. I just read my own post and it sounds a lot like I've Got a Crush on Obama...

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:46 PM on 04/11/2008

Yes, me too!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:59 PM on 04/11/2008
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after reading this story and going thru many good and to the point postings, I see a couple of issues that are really beginning to become apparent.

Obama is making speeches to groups of supporters. IMHO, most American parents are too busy, to uninterested, to self centered to really care about thier children. it's easier to blame the schools. Obama apparently does not have many of these types in his audiences.

time and time again, I hear about my friends "good children" that get into trouble, some, very serious trouble. when I point out how the children are raised and spoiled, all I hear is the whining liturgy-
"I don't want my child to go thru what I went thru". what BS, these are all middle class families, we all had pretty good childhoods.

the problems I see are
1) Obama will piss of the lazy parents, those without vision. there are many, many of them out there, and it is easier to blame others for your shortcomings as a parent, and buy off your children. it even sometimes pays thru BS lawsuits.
2) Obama appears to have stepped on his private parts this week according to the media in regards to the voters in Penn. and the possibly overblown speach he made referring to religion, guns and other issues.

Sir, the wolves are at the door ready to rip you to shreds, so please, pick your fights well and prepare twice.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:07 PM on 04/11/2008

Yes, Sen. Obama may be stepping into land mine areas -- if people think a President can solve all their problems without them taking responsibility of their own lives then he's not the candidate for you - pick someone who will continue to blow smoke up you ass and tell you what you're comfortable hearing. Obviously many of us find this straight talk very refreshing. I remember Michele Obama saying in an interview that she and Sen. Obama made a decision if they couldn't do this and be their authentic selves then they would go back to their previous lives.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:55 PM on 04/11/2008
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every part of the country has different expectations, ways of understandings these speeches. in some areas parents are proactive, other areas they are reactive----
unfortunately, more parents MUST take/be responsible for their "work in progress"-

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:23 PM on 04/11/2008

You are wrong. Parents I know actually love to hear this. Because we see other parents who do a really bad job and we care about kids. Anyway, "parenting" is a big topic of conversation among parents, so I think it will appeal.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:59 PM on 04/11/2008
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Mix2007, I live in the land of narcissim, (please excuse the spelling). The parents I deal with think we are bad parents--------- different areas of the country have different expectations---------

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:15 PM on 04/11/2008
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Lazy parents don't see themselves as *those* lazy parents.

And it's refreshing to hear a politician finally talk tough to the parents. It's their turn to do their fair share. If they want a seat at the education table, then they better be accountable too. And so far......no one is holding the parents accountable.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:26 PM on 04/11/2008
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as much as I agree with you, most American parents think their "fair share" is buying off the kids, making sure that they are the #1 parent after divorce, single parenthood, whatever, etc, etc. making sure that "my child does not have to live like I did"--
no pol will or can ever make the American parents take responsibilty for the kids.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:33 PM on 04/11/2008

Obama keeps telling the truth, and it makes a lot of people uncomfortable. They expect their politicians to stick to bland but meaningless platitudes.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:31 PM on 04/11/2008
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yes, the word can cut bith ways-----

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:19 PM on 04/11/2008

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


Easy there Gerry.
Obama is not picking fights. Obama is simply stating that things need to change.
He is touching on topics that need to be talked, just beacause they make you squirm doesn't mean he is picking a fight.

Religion, guns, parenting, etc.
It's about time somebody went up to a podium and talked about these issues.

It's alot better than empty promises and lame declarations.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:43 PM on 04/11/2008

You know I just realized something.....Obama is not even President (yet) and already he's got the country moving in a more positive direction. He's been on the national stage for less than a year and already there is an open and fearless conservation going on about things people didn't dare discuss -- race and personal responsibility, how great is that!!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:52 PM on 04/11/2008
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He even has Bush trying to look more humane admitting his faults and crying on TV. Newt Gingrich gave a nod to Obama's race discussion. John McCain was forced by the mere presence of Obama in the race to go to Memphis and mention his opposition to MLK Day (no way in hell he would have if Obama was out of the race). News agencies are rethinking their diversity makeup, realizing it looks pretty pathetic to have an all-white panel examining Obama and his proximity to AA culture. Even FauxNews is helping the discussion by bashing Rev. Wright because people are wondering about the full sermon. People are examining themselves since Obama gives them no overt reasons not to like him. Even the world at large is examining us and thinking maybe the US is not the country of "white haired, white male leaders" were brown skin faces an uphill battle. But.......I don't know. America might still freak out and have a regression to the safety of a white face.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:27 PM on 04/11/2008

Obama has *insightfully* brought us to our knees..... Beautiful and Profound....this man has emerged as our new Leader. Thank God!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:01 PM on 04/11/2008

Yep, Sen. Obama has started some serious conversation and self reflection in this country just by being who he is. And being an African American I can say it's not just white people having to take a look in mirror. Trust me those comments about "father's" taking care of their children got a lot of amens from single parent black women in this country. And the message to young black males -- no more excuses!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:09 PM on 04/11/2008

Well said. I think he is making an impact.

This guy is the polar opposite of Bush, who had a decaying corrupting influence on the country.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:00 PM on 04/11/2008

Excellent points!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:50 AM on 04/12/2008
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What a concept! Barack knows his stuff. If he doesn't get the presidency, maybe he can co-opt the Pulitzer Prize. I have never thought that parents were responsible for raising their own children. Not since Dr. Phil explained Britney's Spears problems have I been so impressed.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:16 PM on 04/11/2008

It's so nice that after Obama's father deserted him and his mother and they went to live in Hawaii, then Jakarta, then back by himself to live in Hawaii with the grandparents at age 9 that he recived such care and such a private school, privileged education that he can give advice. And another thing he should tell those parents not to smoke dope or do cocaine because he did when he was younger and it's just not a great thing to do. The only thing that saved him was (and he says this himself) that he did not end up being raised like all of his half brothers and sisters from his father's other wives with those families in Kenya.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:13 PM on 04/11/2008

jaded...

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:11 PM on 04/11/2008

It's a scientific fact that children who's parents read to them and help with home work do much better in school and have less behavior problems. Seems today it's one extreme or the other, kids either don't get enough attention or they get to much attention -- perhaps a little balance is the way to go.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 06:48 PM on 04/11/2008

My wife's a school counselor and the kids are NOT the problem! It's the parents!

They are the worst! They won't vote for school levies, yet they expect teachers to work miracles w/their spoiled children!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 06:40 PM on 04/11/2008

Talk to any teacher today and they will say, the parents don't want to hear one negative thing about their perfect children. Number two complaint, behavior problems, the kids have no respect for them. I remember getting one instruction from my parents in regards to school -- no teacher better ever tell me your misbehaving in school. I passed that same piece of advice along to my daughter.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:04 PM on 04/11/2008

I am a teacher... I am young, 24 years old and I teach at a high school... lots of people I know had reservations about me starting out so young and working with a higher level... Its my passion, I worked my butt off through college so that I could start my career and not have to wait until I was 30...

I will say that yes, the parents are a GREAT deal of the problem!!! he second problem is the kids themselves and thats because there is no discipline at home to make them act right at school.... BUT

I let my students know that we are here to teach, they are here to learn... they are not babies, and if they want to be grown up, they need to act like it. I enjoy my students... I don't have too many problems... and when I do, I remedy that problem immediately because I never want to give the impression that kids can walk all over me...

I'm happy Obama has spoken up on this isse... yes us teachers go to college and through extensive testing and credntialing programs, but we can only do so much... its time the parents start pulling their weight on this issue!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:51 PM on 04/11/2008

I don't think there are many people who will disagree that somewhere along the way the school systems had to start picking up the slack of "some parents" due to both parents working outside the home and single parent homes. What Sen. Obama is pointing out is this isn't working and kids are suffering for it, time for parents to realize the welfare of their children rest solely on them.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 06:25 PM on 04/11/2008
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