McCain Campaign: Comment Trolls Wanted

Wishing you could be a campaign surrogate, but don't have a national platform? Do you find blogging your own opinions tedious? Wish you could have someone tell you what to think during this political season? Well look no further than John McCain's new blog outreach!

That's right; the McCain camp wants to recruit online supporters and activists to serve as comment trolls. From their website:

Help spread the word about John McCain on news and blog sites. Your efforts to help get the message out about John McCain's policies and plan for the future is one of the most valuable things you can do for this campaign....

Select from the numerous web, blog and news sites listed here, go there, and make your opinions supporting John McCain known. Once you've commented on a post, video or news story, report the details of your comment by clicking the button below.

Now, don't worry if you've never heard of a blog, or never written a comment, or heck, even used a computer. Because not only does the campaign tell you on which blogs to comment -- Redstate for right-wingers, Daily Kos for progressives (sorry HuffPo fans, we didn't make the list) -- it will even tell you what to say! Just click on the Blog Interaction page for "Today's Talking Points."

Just look at today's gem, entitled "Time For Solutions:"

John McCain will put the national interest ahead of partisanship, he will work with anyone who sincerely wants to get this country moving again. If John McCain is elected President, the era of the permanent campaign will end. The era of problem solving will begin.

You might be thinking, "What's in it for me?" As a matter of fact, for every comment the McCain verifies, you will awarded McCain Action Center. Which is important, because in Fantasy Land 2013, those things will replace the dollar as American currency.

Comments

[Marichu]

I followed the link to John McCain's web site. They made a mention of "selecting from the numerous web, blog, and news sites listed here" but there were only three. Of these, two were conservative and one was liberal. I'm guessing that his appeal to conservative republicans is weak hence he needs individuals to spread his talking points to entice them to vote for him. Conservative republicans are not too enthused with McCain and have given him at best, a lukewarm reception. He must bring them into his corner. McCain probably feels that to be competitive with the democratic nominee, he needs the support of all republicans.
Why he wants any of his supporters to post on a liberal blog makes no sense. He won't have many converts there.

[GabeSmall]

There are serious issues at stake in this election, and serious differences between the candidates. And we will argue about them, as we should. But it should remain an argument among friends; each of us struggling to hear our conscience, and heed its demands; each of us, despite our differences, united in our great cause, and respectful of the goodness in each other.

(10 more points and I get an official McCain campaign decoder ring)

[ErnestineBass]

Will it decipher the difference between Shites and Sunnis?

[GrandpaMcCain]

ooooh... zing! :-D

[Hallucinocynic]

No, but it has Cindy's ATM pin.

[GabeSmall]

John McCain will put the national interest ahead of partisanship, he will work with anyone who sincerely wants to get this country moving again. If John McCain is elected President, the era of the permanent campaign will end. The era of problem solving will begin.

(I'm saving up my McCain Bucks for a free six-pack of Iron City Light)

[gonavy]

I couldn't find HuffPost on the list.

[GrandpaMcCain]

But then again, you have trouble reading anyway, jagoff.

[GrandpaMcCain]

Sad. Just very, very sad. Especially considering ol' Grandpa probably has never been near "that new-fangled internet-t­hingamabob­."

[ErnestineBass]

Reminds me of one of my favorite political cartoons.

A young woman stands before a group of "older Americans". Behind her is a blackboard with "www.Medic­arePartD" written on it.

One "elderly" man is saying, "What the Hell is a website?"

That one made the fridge door of fame!

[GrandpaMcCain]

LOL Awesome! I wish I'd have seen it. :-D

[PrdAmerican]

I just have to pass this along... http://youtube.com/watch?v=NG93g2PHrJQ

McCains...­generation

[ErnestineBass]

McCANE/LIBBERMANN '09!

[GrandpaMcCain]

~snicker~

[zendem1]

Troll Orientation:
First, be sure to write in ALL CAPS
DO NOT USE PUNCTUATIO­N..BAD SPELLING IS ENCURAGED.­.ANDS EACH COMMENT MUST HAVE A ! A SLAMMER! NOW REPEAT AFTER ME;

HIGH TAXES!

KILL THE TERORISTS!

APPEASEMENT! APEASEMENT!

PRAISE JESUS!

(Troll repellant: show them Armed Forces recruting papers and they will run in the opposite direction.­)

[j0em0mma]

or:

BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA IS A SEXIST TERRORIST MUSLIM WHO CREATED NAFTA etc etc etc

Go Hillary!

(I have seen this countless times...)

[GrandpaMcCain]

Well, actually, that could've been part of the GOP "turn-'em-­against-ea­ch-other" BS strategy that you may have read about.

[GrandpaMcCain]

This would be even more funny if it weren't true.

[JiminNC]

Dear voters,

Vote for John McCain or he will kill you.

Thank you.

[buckygreen]

LMAO kind of a damned if you do damned if you don't proposition.

Vote for John McCain or he will kill you. Or don't vote for John McCain, and he will kill you.

Decisions decisions.

[moodpost]

Vote for John McCain and/or he will kill you?

[buckygreen]

May 20th, 2008, Is A GRate DAY in AMERIcaN Histerry. OUR GRATE LeeDER JOHN
mCcAIN, wile sERCHINg 4 thw FOWNTUN of YOOT, and In Pursoot of hour GLORIUS VIKKTERRY over THE EVIL MUSLUM UMPIRE, has Discovered the INTERNETS!

TAKE THAT YOU LAHTAY drinking SURRENER TARDS! We will youse theez COMPUTERs and Teknowlogy to distroy YOU!

KILL ALL THE MUSLUMS! OSAMA HUSSEIN BARAMA is the ANTI CHRIST (also a MUSLUM!) I LUV Gorge BUSH!

have a nice day!

McCain 08

[ErnestineBass]

Not bad, bucky, but you're no CyrilO'Reily. ROFLMAO!!!

[GrandpaMcCain]

LOL that was funny, but man, it hurt to read that. :-D

[munimula]

Would these be paid positions?

[VOTER]

Why are you asking?

Duh! Huh?

Cindy is paying!!!!

[buckygreen]

Free beer and Botox for the trolls. Uh oh....

[AMJordan]

(cough) (cough) (clears throat)

Mi Mi Mi Mi!

BARAK OBLAMO is nothing more than A HATED MUSLIM! FARRAKAN IS HIS ACTUAL FATHER! He's Not a Christian! His PaSTOR RIGHT PROVES THAT!

On February 7, 2003, Baraaaak OBama was seen buying pot rocks and giving them to a msall child along with a coke. This child abuse umust stop.

He can't swin in the elction. He's hbeing in every state BY JILLION POINTS OF LIGHT!

McCain/Romn ey 08

[VOTER]

Why does McCain need Trolls when he has Timmy Russert, Tweety Matthews, Wolfie Blitzer

and Joe, Scumborough, etc.? Plus many of Hillary's Supporters!

When the MSM supports you 100 % and they refuse to tell Voters what a mess you are and that isn't

enough -

YOU MUST BE IN BIG, BIG TROUBLE!

[ErnestineBass]

True that!

[CocteausTwin]

Online trolls? Having the MSM filled with trolls just wasn't enough huh?

[lynnn]

McCain wants to control all the trolls. He's an underpants Gnome that's just what they do!.

Step 1) Control Trolls
Step 2) ???
Step 3) Profits!

[AMJordan]

And while we're thinking about it. We need some pro-McCain sites to go and troll on. Any suggestions? Sarcasm not wanted but is appreciated.

[j0em0mma]

They're hard to find... Poor Mc100YearsWar, even the conservative establishment hates him... Shoulda stuck to the straight talk, not the straight jacket!

[DMW1]

Oh! I like that! www.straightjacketexpress.com

[buckygreen]

horsesa$$.­com?

[VolvoBirkenstock]

Post on the Food Network. Cindy would be sure to see it the next time she has to come up with some family recipes.

[ErnestineBass]

JOIN THE ELVIS GENERATION!

*****VOTE JOHN McCAIN*****

(I'm Lawrence Welk, and I approved this message)

[zendem1]

www.cindysxanax.com

www.rhymeswithbunt.com

www.igivebushmanlove.com

www.keating5.com

[CocteausTwin]

Talking point 30b:

John McCain's shite doesn't stink.

[AMJordan]

Good! Good! Now work that into a three paragraph, incoherent ramble. You know, something like one of my posts.

[VolvoBirkenstock]

DesertLight
Yep, that too. Goats are not inherently smart. They pretty much eat anything.
Posted 05:57 PM on 05/20/2008

Thought Ken Mehlman was the only one to naff a goat. Now you admit it, too.