Autistic Boy Banned From Church (VIDEO)

A Minnesota mother fights a restraining order filed by her church against her 13-year-old autistic son.

From MSNBC

Comments

[DrFelch]

The church did them a favor. Now they cannot heap on the further mental and emotional abuse that religious indoctrination doles out. Religion is for suckers and morons. March the rubes in, sell 'em some total BS, take their money, maybe rape their children, and just for kicks, tell them to do things entirely outside their own interests. What a bunch of fools religious freaks are. Idiots, one and all. Religion is the enemy of humanity and of nature. Unless we can purge the human psyche of this disease, the human race is doomed. The writing is on the wall, in HUGE letters. Get a clue, folks.
I mean, people have the right to believe what they want. The tooth fairy, santa clause, FSM, intelligent design, even psychopathic, murdering scientology. Any kind of moronic lunacy is a choice they are free to make, just stop infecting others with it, and certainly keep your sickness away from my family and government.

[SevenLevels]

I completely respect your opinion. I go back and forth with my father-in-law over this topic and I understand where the sentiment comes from.
But I really have a problem with the way that you express your opinion, as though you're the only genius who has life figured out and anyone who doesn't heed your warning is retarded. I'm sorry, but that's not the way it works.
Religion is an easy target, a strawman to bolster your humanist beliefs. Religion is not entirely bad. Its not all good either. It is the ministers who lead the churches and the people who choose to follow blindly or with a healthy dose of skepticism that determine whether religion serves a positive or negative purpose.
If religion ceased to exist or, as you would prefer, never existed at all, humans would find some other organized philosophical entity to do the same acts of good and evil that have been perpetrated in the name of God since time immemorial­... but we would substitute nationalism, classism, secular caste systems... the human imagination would substitute God for just about anything in order to justify our most heinous or righteous acts.
But regardless of your opinion, couldn't we please, please, please treat people of all backgrounds, all beliefs, all understandings with respect, regardless of how idiotic you find them?
I could easily dissect your philosophy and ridicule and humiliate you, but by attacking your belief systems I am simply trumpeting my own ignorance.
Peace,
Kelly

[BadCompany]

"But regardless of your opinion, couldn't we please, please, please treat people of all backgrounds, all beliefs, all understandings with respect, regardless of how idiotic you find them?"

So, does this apply to Al Qaeda as well?
Warren Jeffs?
Fred Phelps?

[AmericanSinceFeb08]

Outrageous­....

We are all God's children, some more than others.... (and some that we do not want in OUR church)

Let all the children come to me, (oh... except the ones that have autism, are gay, talk funny and so on).

[nhokkanen]

"How can I help you?"

Isn't that what a Christian should ask others in need?

How hard would it be for an able-bodied person to help the Race family at church, if they felt it appropriate?

Anyone can be unpredictably dangerous. At my workplace, an elderly woman is hospitalized with a broken bone because she was knocked over in church by a "neurotypical" person.

Until you've walked in this family's shoes, you can't fully understand the issue.

[sklfcats]

I go to church to listen to the priest, not some out of control kid.

[Gatogorra]

When you listen to the priest, what do you hear?

Suffer the little children to f*** off?

[OneWoman]

OMG I laughed out loud with that one!

[wolfgangmo]

Stay at home and watch the 700 club or some other snake oil salesman. But I guess you don't want to do that because it is the gathering of bigots that gets YOUR gun off.

[SevenLevels]

Yeah, I'm sorry but I have a hard time believing that you have ever listened to a priest if you refer to someone with autism as "some out of control kid."
Although there was that one Gospel story where Jesus screamed at Nicodemus to "get out of that tree you stupid out of control kid!"
Peace,
Kelly

[BigFootJesus]

For many years I was a Behavior Program Supervisor for a residential facility housing 80 or more Developmentally Disabled Adults. A local church got permission to come in twice a week to witness and pray with the residents. These people would "lay on hands" and "anoint" some of the residents in what I believe was an attempt to "heal" them. It was disgusting. They told people that if they prayed god would heal them. They also told them that if they accepted jeebus that when they died and went up to heaven they would have perfect minds and bodies. These people made me ill. It took me about two months to get them banned from the facility. Keeping this young man out of church would be a good thing IMHO.

[BadCompany]

They shouldn't be filing lawsuits.
They should run away before God heaps any more *blessings* on them.

[nogggin]

Finally, the media is discovering autism.

Instead of explaining why there can be no such thing as a genetic epidemic, instead of pointing out that the former head of the National Institute of Health has said that it is wrong to say that there can be no link between vaccines and autism and that the public health agencies have deliberately looked away from this, they choose instead to focus on one child who is disruptive in church. To imply that this is about bad parenting, as doctors have so often done in the past. We’ve had the refrigerator mom theory, mothers who drink while pregnant, too much television, fathers who are too old.

It’s the heavy metals, stupid.

Society did this to him, and for it’s own benefit.

Now, obviously society feels that they owe him and his parents nothing. This is how the pharmaceutical industry, the insurance companies, the government health care bureaucracies, and the taxpayers see it.

Why would anyone expect the church to be any different?

Look into the Vatican’s response to the question of what Catholics ought to do about having their child vaccinated with the Rubella vaccine. The one created from the wi-38 cell line. A bit of a pickle they’ve found themselves in, with that. But not as much of a pickle as the poisoned children and their parents are in.

[FeloniouslyAnnoying]

Sorry no, there is no scientific evidence that vaccines are the cause of autism. Arguments from authority will get you no where in a conversation with intelligent adults. Go preach your religion somewhere else.

[wolfgangmo]

Take your own advice, padre.

You are doing the same thing you claim other are.

This still needs to be investigated and studied and the most likely culprit right now is vaccines, although IMHO the way they are used and preserved more-so that the concept itself which has some small merit.

[BatMasterson]

Link between certain vaccines and autism discredited:
http://pn.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/full/39/13/44

Autism diagnosis has increased to due increased amount of criteria.

[zizyphus]

Wrong. That is is disinfo. There is definitely a link between autism and vaccinations. Plus, mercury is still in the flu shots and other vaccines.

[josephiatron]

I have an high functioning autistic son who can be disruptive at times. I am not very religious but before my son was born and when he was little (he's now 28) I used to go to a large Unitarian church. All these churches have places for children during services and I think it would be wonderful if they had a special place for my son and other autistic and retarded adults. I know my son would enjoy it. I've made up my mind, after reading this article,to ask the church if they could create such a program. I'm sure they could increase their members it they did so.

[BadCompany]

Don't hold your breath.
The new members you're talking about would not be good for the bottom line.

[1jadednewyorker]

BadCompany
Hit the head on the nail. Churches (not all) want folks above all that are going to give their money to them, that is the titihe or th 10% that they mandate. Most folks with diffently albed children cannot afford to give away that type of money so the preacher can increase his lifestyle.

[notthistime]

Viewing from another room was offered to the family and they refused. That same option it is offered by many churches.

[Trittydi]

There's not a lot of information here to go on - but it seems to me that the parents aren't handling this properly. If the boy is incontinent, is he wearing diapers? and if not, WHY not? I believe the other congregants deserve some consideration. If his behaviors are so severe - perhaps he doesn't belong there.

Who wants this boy in church? The boy - or the mother? How cognizant is HE of the spiritual support and guidance she talks of needing? You can lead a horse to water, etc.

I agree SHE should be able to go to church - but maybe HE should be staying home. She sounds like a bit of a fanatic to me -- someone needs to be the adult here and it sounds like it may be the church for now.
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[OneWoman]

Maybe she cannot leave her son alone. Maybe she has no one else to watch him while she goes to church--or anywhere else for that matter. (It seems to me that it would be hard to find a babysitter­.) If this is the case, can you even begin to imagine what her life must be like?

[BadCompany]

No, I can't.
I also can't imagine why she wants to associate with a church that does not empathize with her.

[notthistime]

right. He is not wearing diapers which means the church has to clean up after him. He is disrupting the other congregants and she refused the offer for her family to review the service from another room. I saw an interview this morning and it was stated that the Church did not make the decision easily and reached out to her many times with alternatives to include counseling and she refused.

So they did what they had to do.

[kavan]

Just demonstrating how well they emulate Jesus & show their tolerance & mercy. Sounds to me like maybe this place could have arranged for some special arrangement for this poor guy if going to church makes him feel better. Hope his mom doesn't make go to make her feel better.

[HST]

As a parent of an autistic child, I have a question for that church. Where in the bible did Jesus ban sick people from attending church?
Whatever happened to (paraphrasing) "whatsoever you do unto the least of my brethen you do unto me"?
What would Jesus do?
Not all, but most organized religion SUCKS!
Like the other parent said, just wait till the upcoming flood of these children enter society -we ain't seen nothing yet.
According to big pharma the joke's on us cause it costs too much to take mercury out of vaccines so waves these kids will keep on coming. Autism rates until recently have been 1 in 10.000 and now it's 1 in 250 and dropping..­.

[Stagmom]

I There are many sides to this story. But readers should know that this situation is likely to become the norm as the epidemic numbers of small, cute kids, as shown in autism fundraiser ads, become large, teenaged boys (and girls) and men (and women.)

Not all children with autism are disruptive. There are therapies and diets and supplements and meds to help behavior issues. But sometimes a parent tries everything possible yet doesn't get results.

I have three children with autism. Trust me, we autism Mom's chart out our days and our travels according to what our kids can handle. I've turned the car around many times rather than enter a mall or a store if one of my girls was having difficulty. Shouldn't Church be the one safe place for us? Even if it's in the back or in the crying room?

As an aside, our Church, in the Bridgeport CT diocese has a special needs program and is most welcoming. In fact, two of my girls are making the First Communion this month.

Remember this story about a disabled boy and the restraining order when you hear the next one, and the next one, and the next one. At age 22 these kids "age out" of school and then they are in the "public domain." Droves are coming of age soon. Get ready.

Kim Stagliano
HuffPo blogger
Mom to Mia, Gianna and Bella
Tired.....

[OneWoman]

Good lord! I have one son with Asperger's and another who has a lot of the features, but not enough to warrant classification, and I'm barely hanging on. I don't know HOW you manage with three! My heart goes out to you.

[Chrisallalone]

I'm glad you replied, Ms. Stagliano; I always enjoy reading your perspectives. This story hit home as the older of my Aspie daughters is now 13 (today!) and as big as me, and we realize we have to plan for the future. You're right to point out that these are the issues our nation will be dealing with as our kids grow.

I was prepared to despise this church, and I think a restraining order sounds like a terrible way to deal with the matter. And I'm sure this mom has many limitations on what she wants to do and would just like the solace of church. But she has to be flexible and realistic in her thinking about how she does it. Maybe she has to leave Mass five minutes early so her son isn't overwhelmed by people at the door. Maybe she has to assess the importance of receiving Communion with the rest of the congregation. Certainly he should have incontinence gear so that no one realizes he's urinating.

I'm not a churchgoer, but on family occasions when we must, we have always planned for our kids so they're not disruptive to others. It's sad, but true, that even at church an autism mom can't take anything for granted. Other people in the room do have feelings, and we have to do all the perspective-taking and flexible thinking that our kids can't if we want to help them find a place in the world.

[wolfgangmo]

I am autistic although high functioning. So yes, the autistic walk among you. Perhaps we need to look at preventative courses of action and drop the typically allopathic curative after the fact methodologies.

[notthistime]

Stagmom - To be fair -- I watched this segment today and the Church did offer alternatives for the family via viewing from another room, one on one mass, and counseling - the family refused.

[CriticalDune]

I want to underscore Kim's comment that the kids starting this jump in real diagnoses beginning in the early 1990's are now getting older and bigger and more visible in all sorts of community settings. This inclusion is good. However, the public needs to understand that they will be sharing all sorts of settings with adults with autism and will definitely need to chill out from time to time. This story may help drive that point home.
Law enforcement and first response professionals all across the country are working like crazy to prepare (Chicago and NYC just adopted specialized autism training for their entire police forces). They recognized this need because they have been trained to identify many of the behaviors seen in autism (just like this young man's) as uncooperative, threatening, or even hostile. People with autism have been hurt and killed because of that fact. School officials (and maybe even church leaders) need to get some specialized training in interacting with people with autism.
The good news is that there are easily learned techiques to employ to deescalate all types of disruption or confrontation between people with autism and law enforcement pros (as well as the public at large). They may not work 100% of the time, but we owe it to our fellow citizens with autism to try to accomodate, not segregate, them. I hope that the parties in this case get together with experts to work out an inclusive solution.

[cmaff05]

The church has every right to deny entrance to a person who is causing havoc, whether they are cognizant of that fact or not . The church is private property and subject to the whims of those who own it. I don't believe the Mom has any grounds to stand on, unfortunately.

[auntiewillow]

I have no doubt it's their right...bu­t is it right? For a Church? Who else is disruptive on their list?
Guess they're not big on inclusion.­....

[cmaff05]

It may not be right, and the Church could be acting hypocritical if they do not dismiss other repeat offenders who disrupt, but that is their perogative. She needs to go to another church if that is the case.

[Ajita]

I agree. Also, the church has no right to my tax money or my moral standards. I won't meddle with church affairs if it stays out of mine.

[MariaBuch]

Churches are subject to the laws prohibiting discrimination based upon sex, race, disability­....they are a public accommodation (not as employers, merely as a public place) Was there any attempt on the part of the church to accommodate this disability based behavior? Where do parents go when they have children who cry or fuss? Why not a glass enclosed room where people can participate in the service but not interefere in a really disruptive way with others. Not only people with disabled children, but those with curious, free spirited children, could also partake of church service. you wonder why this has become such a litigious society. I'm sure a good civil rights attorney could make the church understand the law.
But..this isn't the point. It really shows the hypocrisy of a place that claims to represent the teachings of Jesus Christ, who said, "Suffer the little children to come unto me"

[skeptique]

Yet more proof that Christianity is a far more debilitating state than autism.

[VegasDem]

And also more proof that churches should be taxed, just like every other piece of "private" property.

[Trittydi]

I don't know if I would go that far - but it certainly can be debilitating. Just look at Bush's base. And the endless stream of crackpot preachers. God! There's no end to them! Each one more ignorant, perverted or megalomaniacal than the last.
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