Stephen Colbert Tells Princeton Graduates Not To Change The World

PRINCETON, N.J. — Stephen Colbert, the host of his own Comedy Central show, Emmy winner, faux presidential candidate and best-selling author, added to that esteemed collection an award from Princeton University: "The Great Princeton Class of 2008 Understandable Vanity Award."

The award was mounted on a mirror.

"I have to say, I've never seen anything more beautiful," Colbert on Monday told the 2,611 Princeton graduates-to-be assembled at Class Day, which is held each year the day before commencement. Senior Class President Tom Haine pointed out that the ceremony was held in front of ivy-covered Nassau Hall in an area where Gen. George Washington defeated the British in the Battle of Princeton.

"Mr. Colbert is, as George Washington was, a great patriot," Haine said. "He stands firm against the liberal tyrannies of our time. In other words, he fits right in."

During his speech, Colbert _ in character as a right-wing, blowhard political commentator _ tweaked the customary message of graduation speeches by imploring students to maintain the status quo.

"You can change the world," he said. "Please don't do that, OK? Some of us like the way things are going now."

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And instead of telling graduates to conquer their fears, he admitted his. "I'm scared of you," he said. "I can tell you are go-getters. At my college, for instance, no one got out of bed before 11 o'clock."

He also made fun of the black and orange class jackets _ known as "beer jackets" _ that the graduates wore, and other aspects of Princeton culture.

"When you leave here," the comedian said, "no one will ever, ever want to hear you sing a capella. And those jackets you're wearing, do not wear them to your job interview."

Then, he was presented with one.

"In that case," he said, "I take it back. This is a beautiful jacket. Change the world."

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Comments

[lisakaz2]

Well, Stephen received an honor but not exactly a degree, since this was an undergrad event (look at the ppl on the dais; they are not faculty). Still, excellent. Stephen hit the right note before The Big Day. Kudos all around.

[MissingAmerica]

Were it not for the wit and wisdom of Stephen Colbert, this administration would have been so difficult to tolerate! Thank you, Stephen, and don't ever stop. I'm sure that no matter what happens with this election, you will still have plenty to talk about!

[HermioneGranger]

Well, so Stephen helped you tolerate the Bush administration? And this is a good thing?

[DannyEastVillage]

you know what he means...can we stop picking fights with each other here? it's bad enough that conservative know-nothings come here on purpose to do that. It would be ever-so-helpful if progressives could leave that kind of unhelpfulness aside.

[lisakaz2]

He probably means "survive."

[haleywins]

Easiest way don't vote or vote Bush 3.

[sueno]

I love Colbert !

[AtTheMoon]

proud member of the colbert nation
Stephen is KING

but those jackets are stupid

[lisakaz2]

You oughta see the cap and gown; the dominant color is that orange with black trim. It is VERY readily identifiable but ugly as all get out. My graduate department chair turned to wearing something else (prob. the school colors of his employer; I forget).

[DannyEastVillage]

yeh they really are. jeezus...surely Princeton could do better..??

[Bagger]

Colbert is a genius.

[vmonter]

Duuuuuuuuuuuude where's my wall st job?

[expatwing]

the best bit is hearing all the people nearby giggling... gotta love Colbert!

[dennybop]

I find so much to be optimistic about when I hear Colbert speak. He is the finest practitioner of political satire in a generation. He has chosen not to 'dumb down' to reach his audience. Instead he lifts us up and makes us think. In the finest tradition of satire he manages to scewer the status quo while remaining self-deprecating. And despite his scewering, he is never mean-spirited.

[lisakaz2]

Of course, he's not going to "dumb down" at Princeton, eh?

[walk0nwalls]

Yeah that was pretty rockin yo.

[AutumnRecluse]

Why would anyone in their right man have Colbert give a speech at their graduation. He is funny, but I think he takes away from all the hard work these students put in over their 4 years.

[walk0nwalls]

It doesn't because he makes the funnies but not at their expense. Stephen's always particularly careful to pick and choose what he mocks with his humor. He notes that while he'll make fun of how religion is practiced, he never makes fun of belief itself. So you gotta look careful with that thur humor.

[SpaghettiWorshipper]

(a) he does make fun of the absurdity of numerous religious beliefs, not just their practice (despite his own apparently committed Roman Catholocism in his personal life)

(b) "belief" is eminently worthy of being made fun of. There should be nothing sacrosanct about the irrational adoption of beliefs on such appallingly bad grounds as "faith." That's as morally problematic and intellectually retrograde as any of the other practices of religion that it is PC to question, no matter how much more publicly respectable it remains.

[twwv8]

which is held each year the day before commencement.

Try reading the article.

[conscioushope]

Autumn~

You are missing the point. They are an intelligent audience and they "get" his point through paradoxical humor.

As a former high school counselor, I can attest to the fact that someone like Colbert "reaches" young people. The staid, old ways do not speak to the younger generation.

And, I must admit to me either.

[MadMoll]

You just need to listen more. It will come. Like a flash of Barak (Lightning) the "GOT IT" moment will appear

[OttoMann]

It wasn't a commencement speech. This was something they did the day before.

[KeysDan]

Yes, this was Class Day, organized by the students. An honorary degree was not awarded (contrary to the headline). Commencement is more som-bear than Col-bear, but, less fun.

[nolabels]

WHAT?! I had some stuffy ambassador to Greece give my commencement address. It was a big snoozer. I would have traded for Colbert in a second.

[Roxanna]

Stephen has a great sense of humor, putting things into perspective while telling underlying truths.

[macaframa]

bong hits 4 me!!!!

[NewJerzDrive]

my brother was in the graduates crowd and I in the audience and let me tell you Stephen the roof off this place. if of course they held in inside, and there was a roof to blow off.