The World's Worst Mom?

Times Of London:

Out of the blue, I've become a lightning rod in the parenting wars. Mention my story and millions of people not only know about it, they have a very strong opinion about it, and me, and my parenting skills - or utter, shameful lack thereof.

Here's how it happened.

In April I wrote a column for the newspaper I work for, the New York Sun, entitled "Why I Let My 9-Year-Old Ride The Subway Alone". I explained that my younger son, Izzy, had been begging me to let him try to find his way home on his own from somewhere - anywhere - by subway. Here in New York City we're on public transport all the time. Moreover, despite what you see in the movies, it's safe. Not only is New York not among the 10 most dangerous cities in America, it's not even in the top 100. When it comes to crimes per capita, New York is 136th on the list - almost pathetically civil. Our murder rate is back where it was in 1963.

That's why letting Izzy find his way home alone just seemed like a fun idea. Not dangerous. Not crazy. Not even very hard. My husband agreed.

So on that sunny Sunday, I took the boy to a big, bright Manhattan department store - Bloomingdale's - and left him in ladies' handbags.

Bye-bye!

I didn't leave him defenceless, of course. I gave him a subway map, a transit card and $20 in case of emergencies. I also gave him some change to make a call. But here's the thing I have yet to hear the end of: I did not give him a mobile phone.

It's not just that I think mobile phones turn even grown-ups into babies (always checking in, always asking permission to eat a KitKat before dinner). It's also that while I very much trusted my son to get himself home, I was less sure he'd get the phone there. Who wants to lose a phone?

Read the whole story: Times Of London

Comments

[grailknight]

10:29 PM on 06/12/2008

People should read The Adventures of Tom Sayer and the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn before starting a family.

[dadw5boys]

10:08 AM on 06/12/2008

Protect your little lambs till they are grown.

Tell them the world is all sunny and bright do not warn them about anything.

Then turn them out into the world for the wolves to eat alive.

What kind of parent does that to a kid ?

[coastalcarla]

01:49 PM on 06/10/2008

I'm always wondering what overprotective parents do when their child wants to move out? And are these kids even prepared to move out when they hit college age? My son is away at college and his roommate has a cell phone that rings constantly with his mother on the other end of the line. His parents pay all of his bills, and provide him with a credit card. They gave him a car. And they visit regularly to "check up" on him. What kind of adult does that make? By the time my son was 14, we were on our own. I was working full time, so he had to be responsible for himself for certain periods of the day. I didn't fill his time with required "activities" all summer - I let him do what he wanted with his friends (those allowed to go outside). And now he's working and supporting himself and going to school. And his friend that is so protected and provided for is constantly running out of money, rarely studying and making extremely poor choices, when he's allowed to make any at all. I think the paents to be criticized are of the "helicopter" variety, not ones who give their children a chance at independence. They are raising a whole generation of useless individuals.

[Aramingo]

11:58 AM on 06/10/2008

We're supposed to prepare our children for the world, not shield them from it.

[robXdion]

02:38 PM on 06/10/2008

Yeah, by being lazy and doing as little as possible to help them understand it, right? That's an irresponsible cop-out. And we wonder why they come home pregnant at 13 or vehicular manslaughter DUI at 17 or suicidal / homicidal at 22. The problem today is "adults" have never "grown up". They can grow old, but no one is growing wiser.

[Philippa]

12:04 AM on 06/10/2008

I am not for over protectiveness. However, some parents do have reason to fear for the safety of their children. Pictures of missing children are in store bulletins, newspapers, and on tv. At this day and age, how can a parent be sure of their children's safety? I started to use public transportation when I was six and walked home at times. Back then reports of pedophilia and kidnappings were scarce. Today, it seems there are plenty of reasons to wait until kids are a bit older before they are left on their own such as riding the subway.

[padfoot]

03:26 PM on 06/09/2008

I started taking public transportation ( in Chicago) to travel to and from school when I was 10. By the time I was was twelve I was traveling throughout the city. It taught me to be self sufficient, pay attention to my environment and allowed me a freedom that none of my school mates had. I could go to museums, libraries, movies and the whole city opened up to me. Not every child is ready for the responsibility of taking public transportation alone but for those who are they should be allowed.

And its good for the environment too.

[Topfeeder]

02:11 PM on 06/09/2008

I sent my 8 year old son to sleep-away camp for 2 weeks and my friends and mother acted like I sold him into white slavery. I have consistently treated him as if I expected him to behave appropriately and deftly and he always has. He enters college this August and I am certain he has the skills to succeed.

[OnTheCusp]

12:45 PM on 06/09/2008

I've always felt sorry for kids these days because of their constant supervision. I think it's the reason so many kids have no imagination...they've never gotten themselves into (or out of!) any "traditional" childhood scrapes. They have no idea what they can achieve if we all sit an peer over their shoulders constantly.
I say bravo for Ms. Skenazy and I'm sure her son is a happy one.