Fox's O'Reilly To Release Memoir This Fall That Is Already Quite Unintentionally Hilarious

Those of you who follow the goings-on of the Wingnut Welfare Book Club, or who are just tired of books that don't provide the sort of cognitive dissonance normally associated with getting whanged on the dome with a socket wrench, should mark their calendars and save this date: September 23, 2008. That is the day that Fox News' Bill O'Reilly will add the seventeen billionth entry to the overstuffed genre of quasi-celebrity memoirs with the release of his latest book, A Bold Fresh Piece of Humanity.

That's right. The book is actually called A Bold Fresh Piece of Humanity, which is practically begging for you commenters to mock it, at great length. According to the stub on Amazon.com, the title refers to an anecdote from O'Reilly's childhood:

In 1957, in the heart of the Eisenhower years, in the third grade classroom of Sister Mary Lurana in Saint Brigid's parochial school in Westbury, Long Island, was a mouthy, obstreperous kid by the name of William O'Reilly. Quite a handful he was, and so one day Sister Mary bent over him in exasperation in response to some piece of mischief and told him to his face, "William, you are a bold fresh piece of humanity." Little did she know that she was, early in his career as a troublemaker, defining the essence of Bill O'Reilly and providing him with the title of his brash and entertaining issues-based memoir.

Yes. LITTLE DID SHE KNOW! Of course, there's evidence to suggest that Sister Mary Lurana was actually very prescient, and was playing the long con. Why do I suggest this? Well, as it happens, one anagram for "A Bold Fresh Piece of Humanity" is "Shameful, Bona-Fide Hypocrite." This proves, once again, that the English language is a marvelous and mysterious thing.

Comments

[helenwiells]

PULEEZE!!! Does the man NOT realize that this is a perjorative? Come on...the nun (obviously to me) had to be Irish because "bold" is a very common way in Ireland to describe a naughty child. And, "fresh"...well we know it didn't mean shiny, plump tomatoes, right? The "piece of humanity" part seems way too close to "piece of crap" to me...no doubt a wry understatement by Sister Lurana. At the very least there should be a comma after the word "bold" - Mr. O'Reilly's Catholic school education must have supplied that information (or was the little guy being too bold to listen to his lessons?). Hmmm?

[AmericanSinceFeb08]

Chris M.: another one, like Buchanan and Coulter. Can sell anything !!!! But is the world a better place because of it? No, just their pocket books.

[GQTaste]

remember when this clown said this: On March 18, 2003, O'Reilly appeared on ABC's Good Morning America and said,


"If the Americans go in and overthrow Saddam Hussein and it's clean, he has nothing, I will apologize to the nation, and I will not trust the Bush administration again."

[morenot]

I have accomplished another anagram with the letters of his ttitle and they are a forecast of his future as well: y offer rash old bum pie hit?

[charon]

Yep. Fresh and steamin'.

[margotb822]

I wonder how long he's been waiting to use that title. Ugh.

[Yohomegirl]

Ew, what IS that smell? I think someone stepped on a bold fresh peice of humanity!

[LWkcma]

too bad its funny. i would like a good laugh, but i refuse to give this puke a penny of my money.....there thats my two cents worth

[gelfling545]

For those who are not quite as old as Mr. O'Reilly and/or have never had the opportunity to be reprimanded by a nun, it should be noted that neither bold nor fresh is a compliment in the context. When a Catholic nun said you were "bold" it meant insubordinate, that you had overstepped the line. "Fresh", in this context, means rude. When Sister called you bold or fresh you were in serious trouble.

[glesslib]

Yes, I translated that too. Nuns seldom curse, and in his day they probably never did. It certainly wasn't that she saw what a fabulous, original he was. She thought he was a real s*it disturber.

Imagine that.

[petuniafish]

My third grade teacher in 1961, Sister Mary Lucille used to reprimand fellow classmates with the terms, "MY, but your BOLD" and "MY, but your FRESH". Those are the words I remember deeply- they were a scary warning. It was all the nuns had available to curse a child..... and let them know they were an inch away from their parents being called into the principal Sister Cordelee's office. That meant possible expulsion.

O'Reilly was an a**hole then and he's grown into a bold, fresh piece of S***.

[Wilburrr]

Why would I ever waste my time reading that? Why am I wasting my time posti...

[heather11483]

It's a fresh piece of something.

[protagonia]

LOL!!!

[nowRnever]

My sentiments exactly!

[buffalo66]

Hmmmmm, is he a "fresh piece" or a steaming pile? YOU DECIDE

[Querent]

An epitaph for O'Reilly:

"He was Don Rickles without the punchlines."

[glesslib]

And only half as funny....and that is really damning.

[VicksieDo]

He even looks like a brat in his child picture! What a goon.

[Insideout143]

I'd just like to say that Billo's bold freshness went so stale so long ago. His new book will only be worth having on a bookstore shelf collecting dust.