Fox's O'Reilly To Release Memoir This Fall That Is Already Quite Unintentionally Hilarious

Those of you who follow the goings-on of the Wingnut Welfare Book Club, or who are just tired of books that don't provide the sort of cognitive dissonance normally associated with getting whanged on the dome with a socket wrench, should mark their calendars and save this date: September 23, 2008. That is the day that Fox News' Bill O'Reilly will add the seventeen billionth entry to the overstuffed genre of quasi-celebrity memoirs with the release of his latest book, A Bold Fresh Piece of Humanity.

That's right. The book is actually called A Bold Fresh Piece of Humanity, which is practically begging for you commenters to mock it, at great length. According to the stub on Amazon.com, the title refers to an anecdote from O'Reilly's childhood:

In 1957, in the heart of the Eisenhower years, in the third grade classroom of Sister Mary Lurana in Saint Brigid's parochial school in Westbury, Long Island, was a mouthy, obstreperous kid by the name of William O'Reilly. Quite a handful he was, and so one day Sister Mary bent over him in exasperation in response to some piece of mischief and told him to his face, "William, you are a bold fresh piece of humanity." Little did she know that she was, early in his career as a troublemaker, defining the essence of Bill O'Reilly and providing him with the title of his brash and entertaining issues-based memoir.

Yes. LITTLE DID SHE KNOW! Of course, there's evidence to suggest that Sister Mary Lurana was actually very prescient, and was playing the long con. Why do I suggest this? Well, as it happens, one anagram for "A Bold Fresh Piece of Humanity" is "Shameful, Bona-Fide Hypocrite." This proves, once again, that the English language is a marvelous and mysterious thing.

Comments

[kawreader]

This is an exciting development. I cannot wait to read it...unintentionally hilarious books are my favorite reads. So many questions surrounding this worthless man. The title and the picture of this book however, are priceless.

[Querent]

Wait a couple of weeks before buying it. I'm sure you'll be able to get it off the remainder table for $2.50.

[hannitysux]

Is there a chapter on loofahs?

[seenitall]

gotta get my barf bag ready for the Hannity review of the book.....bluuuuuuchhhh.

[starboymikey]

Nothing beats the way Stephen Colbert handled O'Reilly. Poor old Bill knew he was being cut to ribbons, but had no way to defend himself. I mean, what do you say to someone who calls you a "god", even when you know he's really calling you a clod? I've never seen Bill so utterly befuddled by anyone.

Colbert just vivisected him, as he did Bush at the Press Club dinner, and he did it all without uttering a single obvious insult. If O'Reilly has the wit of a chainsaw, Colbert wields a scalpel.

[NotMcCain]

Oh, be still my heart! I can't WAIT for O'Reilly to tour this book on The Colbert Report! Stephen will, genteely and with utmost compliments, rip him a new one!

[surfcitysteven]

He then told Sister Mary, "I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS! FUCKIT FUCKIT!"

[conservatoire]

metaphoric noisy bufflehead

impeachable fishy underfoot

empathic buffoonish delayer

and my personal favorite...

myopic insufferable hothead

[DrSithMirth]

LOL! That's the end of the discussion, right there. Can't top 'em.

[littlepuffycloud]

Does the book come with a complimentary loofah?

[ENK727]

Or falafel?

[UltraClassic]

You people are obsessed with this guy.

[ShirleyBowers]

Much in the same fashion that we found Idi Amin fascinating.

[levibatgirl]

Not at all. But you seem to be obsessed with us.

[dawlishgal]

For the same reason people gawk at the scene of accidents.

[NatteringNabobs]

I finally get why Bill is so disturbed.

That picture is a frozen piece of abused alter boy. You can see it in his eyes. Did the fathers have loofah's back then?

Get some help Orally.

[DoomtoNeoCons]

Taste My Falafel: A Visitor's Guide to Using your Loufa
by Bill O'Reilly

[MLRogers]

"Yes. LITTLE DID SHE KNOW! Of course, there's evidence to suggest that Sister Mary Lurana was actually very prescient, and was playing the long con. Why do I suggest this? Well, as it happens, one anagram for "A Bold Fresh Piece of Humanity" is 'Shameful, Bona-Fide Hypocrite.' "

I don't know...I think "Barfey piece of old human sh**" works better.

[notBrit]

Also good (and actually an anagram):

USA Became Filthy Hi-Def Hi Porno

[notBrit]

Also good (and actually an anagram):

USA Became Filthy Hi-Def Porno

[whoissilvia]

Wow. Uncanny.

[kellygrrrl]

I love the cover ... the sad scared little Altar Boy!!!!

[dolphy]

666 can be so subtle.

[eternalkerri]

that lends itself to a joke about abuse and misdirected anger....but i wont go there.

[imajoebob]

My experience with the good sisters makes me think that "bold fresh piece of humanity" is just the nuns' equivalent to "hot steaming pile of..." And not even Bill O'Reilly - the spawn of Satan himself, is going to make Sister Mary Lurana say that out loud.

[uheardme]

"My experience with the good sisters makes me think that "bold fresh piece of humanity" is just the nuns' equivalent to "hot steaming pile of..."


Oh dear mother of god, you read my mind. I'm being watched. : >)

[LWkcma]

I usually flush my "Bold Fresh pieces of Humanity" down the toilet.

[littlepuffycloud]

LOL

[macintoshsauce]

ROTFLMAO!

[NYCMami]

Rupert Murdoch puts his on prime-time.

[naschkatze]

O'Reilly thinks his don't stink.

[HBeachbum]

There are a lot of jealous people on this blog.

[speakyourmind]

OMG!! I can hardly contain my laughter....you almost made me spit out my water. That was rich. Thanks.

[TheEmptinessOfTruthiness]

No. We just don't like already, though I do acknowledge that many ignorant, loudmouth, blowhards love him.

[TheEmptinessOfTruthiness]

Typo. I put already instead of O'Reilly...

[dawlishgal]

I just checked my list of people to be jealous of, and (guess what) O'Reilly wasn't even on it. I try not to envy people who will be spending eternity shoveling coal into the fiery furnace.

[2351]

I say that we do everything possible to keep people from buying it. The nerve of him.