Fox's O'Reilly To Release Memoir This Fall That Is Already Quite Unintentionally Hilarious

Those of you who follow the goings-on of the Wingnut Welfare Book Club, or who are just tired of books that don't provide the sort of cognitive dissonance normally associated with getting whanged on the dome with a socket wrench, should mark their calendars and save this date: September 23, 2008. That is the day that Fox News' Bill O'Reilly will add the seventeen billionth entry to the overstuffed genre of quasi-celebrity memoirs with the release of his latest book, A Bold Fresh Piece of Humanity.

That's right. The book is actually called A Bold Fresh Piece of Humanity, which is practically begging for you commenters to mock it, at great length. According to the stub on Amazon.com, the title refers to an anecdote from O'Reilly's childhood:

In 1957, in the heart of the Eisenhower years, in the third grade classroom of Sister Mary Lurana in Saint Brigid's parochial school in Westbury, Long Island, was a mouthy, obstreperous kid by the name of William O'Reilly. Quite a handful he was, and so one day Sister Mary bent over him in exasperation in response to some piece of mischief and told him to his face, "William, you are a bold fresh piece of humanity." Little did she know that she was, early in his career as a troublemaker, defining the essence of Bill O'Reilly and providing him with the title of his brash and entertaining issues-based memoir.

Yes. LITTLE DID SHE KNOW! Of course, there's evidence to suggest that Sister Mary Lurana was actually very prescient, and was playing the long con. Why do I suggest this? Well, as it happens, one anagram for "A Bold Fresh Piece of Humanity" is "Shameful, Bona-Fide Hypocrite." This proves, once again, that the English language is a marvelous and mysterious thing.

Comments

[grailknight]

This is tough to rate on the Bristol Stool Chart

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bristol_scale

[TheEmptinessOfTruthiness]

Ha ha. I was halfway through the list when I realized it wasn't the KRISTOL Stool Chart...

[econdr]

Just terrible.

What has he accomplished in his life to warrant writing a memoir? Other than having shouting matches every night on fox news...

Just terrible.

I hope nobody buys it

[nastyvirus]

On the contrary! I hope everyone haggles down the price to 50 cents, buys 100 copies, takes the books down to the village square and burns them.

It would make the Author so proud!

[AFPISCES]

Give the jerk a break guys. After all, he is not of this earth...

[LiberalMillionaire]

Thanks for the anagram. priceless :-)

[kellygrrrl]

Oh, BillO was an Altar Boy ... ok. that explains a lot. now I get it.

[macintoshsauce]

Ah... Anger issues from his days as an altar boy. Priceless.

[lungfish]

It takes a true narcissist to not be able to see what is wrong with that title for a memoir. Personally, I can't stand the guy. I like a lot of different kinds of people but the primary personality type I hate to encounter is a narcissist. Bill O is all that and more... As for "a bold fresh piece of humanity", he seems to be referring to himself as such and I would beg to disagree. He is simply more of the same. Nothing innovative or inspiring about him. Its simply all about him and if you watch his little tirade from some years back you can see that nothing has changed about him. He isn't the first guy who made money being a jerk but I wouldn't refer to that as success.

[dawlishgal]

Did he write down what the nun said? Perhaps what she really said was "a fresh heap o' steamin' human waste."

[SCG]

I always thought Ted Baxter was a grossly exaggerated parody of a newscaster, that was until Bill O'Reilly.

[PSD827]

This guy's narcissism, self-involvement, naivety, and pure stupidity never ceases to amaze me...

I'm sure the book will be a New York Post best-seller...

[Cobia]

Recommended 'library' archival method:

INCINOLET
http://www.incinolet.com/

1. Lift lid

2. Deposit

3. Push foot pedal

4. Push Incinerate button

"...uses electric heat to reduce human waste (urine, solids, paper, [Fox transcipts/tapes/dvd's/printed material] ) to a small amount of clean ash, which is dumped periodically into the garbage."

Mission Accomplished!
.

[scornflakes]

I love how that can be used on land AND at sea! What a fresh new solution for those who seek an amphibious answer to their bodily function problems!

[scornflakes]

Wait until he finds out that "memoir" is a French word. Of course, so is "douche."

[commonsenselives]

LOL, I love it!

[TheEmptinessOfTruthiness]

I guess memoir should be recast as "Freedom Thoughts."

[haleywins]

Is he serious? What numbnut picked this title?

[speakyourmind]

I can only posit that it must be like when you give a nickname to a very large man and you call him "Tiny."

[supergranny]

What an exciting memoir. Stories of burning ants with magnifying glasses, torturing small animals, beating up weaker children, cheating on exams, mommy obsessions, bedwetting, isolationism. Oh wait, this is from his childhood on, not just for 2008...... OOOPS.

[JackND]

How long did that anagram take to come up with?

[BannedFromCommenting]

U can plug them into programs all over the internet now, probably took minutes

[livesimply]

You don't know what an anagram is...

[wsblake]

What a jackass. However, the best stuff on O'Reilly was on Al's O'Franken Factor. He did a running skit about Bill's fantasized "combat" experiences that was hilarious.

[Hobobrown]

Looks like a first communion outfit.