Fox's O'Reilly To Release Memoir This Fall That Is Already Quite Unintentionally Hilarious

Those of you who follow the goings-on of the Wingnut Welfare Book Club, or who are just tired of books that don't provide the sort of cognitive dissonance normally associated with getting whanged on the dome with a socket wrench, should mark their calendars and save this date: September 23, 2008. That is the day that Fox News' Bill O'Reilly will add the seventeen billionth entry to the overstuffed genre of quasi-celebrity memoirs with the release of his latest book, A Bold Fresh Piece of Humanity.

That's right. The book is actually called A Bold Fresh Piece of Humanity, which is practically begging for you commenters to mock it, at great length. According to the stub on Amazon.com, the title refers to an anecdote from O'Reilly's childhood:

In 1957, in the heart of the Eisenhower years, in the third grade classroom of Sister Mary Lurana in Saint Brigid's parochial school in Westbury, Long Island, was a mouthy, obstreperous kid by the name of William O'Reilly. Quite a handful he was, and so one day Sister Mary bent over him in exasperation in response to some piece of mischief and told him to his face, "William, you are a bold fresh piece of humanity." Little did she know that she was, early in his career as a troublemaker, defining the essence of Bill O'Reilly and providing him with the title of his brash and entertaining issues-based memoir.

Yes. LITTLE DID SHE KNOW! Of course, there's evidence to suggest that Sister Mary Lurana was actually very prescient, and was playing the long con. Why do I suggest this? Well, as it happens, one anagram for "A Bold Fresh Piece of Humanity" is "Shameful, Bona-Fide Hypocrite." This proves, once again, that the English language is a marvelous and mysterious thing.

Comments

[Pragman]

When Southerers say, "Well bless his heart", that's not what they really mean.

[HarryPalmer]

"William O'Reilly! You fresh little piece of steaming human waste!"

[NotMcCain]

"Shameful, Bona-FIde Hypocrite" is a much better title, too.

Speaking as a book designer, I have to say that that jacket (like the writing excerpt) screams out (to put it nicely), "Amateur!"

And who is "Broadway" publisher? Is it possible that a huge star like O'Reilly had to have a vanity press publish his memoir? (If so, how fitting).

[arkgrfx61]

Billy O is a bold, fresh piece of whatever it is that comes out of my puppy's bottom.
Snap.

[scornflakes]

Bill just keeps burying the needle of Tool-o-meter.

[filo]

Aw c'mon!
This is too easy.
It's not even sporting.

BillO isn't even trying. He's phoning in his book titles besides his show????

[LABC]

Actual quote: Sister Mary : "William O'Reilly, put your humanity back in your pants and zip up. And is that a loofa sticking out of your knapsack?"

[Alethea]

Teehee! That is too funny!

[MikeDu]

"Quite a handful he was, and so one day..."
Did you notice how cloyingly flowery that excerpt was? Who the hell writes like that? Either O'Reilly is the world's worst writer or he's the worlds worst judge of ghostwriters.

[SonOfSamnite]

I think he's trying for a little faux-Irish speech pattern there. Sure and begorrah, boyo.

[naschkatze]

'Tis.

[Cobia]

Have you read what he allegedly said to Andrea Mackris?

[Vantunow]

I don't think Bill-O knows what Sister meant.

[Checquoline]

Bill's classmates have testified that he was a bully and a braggard.

[Moxo]

A free Loofa with every book order???

[Durango]

In Shakespeare's Merchant of Venice that was known as a pound of flesh.

And as I recall, that was not a good thing.

[MACS]

.
BOR now spends his time looking for someone to POUND his FLESH.
.

[devanate]

A bold fresh peice of something... stinky.

[Forester]

LOOFA LOOFA