Jason Linkins

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Jason Linkins

The Huffington Post

GOP Convention Concerns Include Pigeon Dung, Homeless

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June 19, 2008 04:33 PM



Viewed through the loving gaze of the television cameras, the modern Presidential Convention appears to be a riveting pageant of our democratic process. But at street level in the host city, it can mean traffic snarls, close encounters with dubiously dressed delegates, and an ever-shifting array of public restrictions and clampdowns. According to this morning's Washington Examiner, an unusual matter tops the list of concerns for the upcoming Republican National Convention in Saint Paul, Minnesota: specious species and their feces:

For the upcoming Republican National Convention, the biggest pests aren't just the area Democrats, it's the area's pigeons, too.


The city of St. Paul, Minn., is suffering from soiled sidewalks and blemished buildings thanks to those winged rats, and local officials are taking precautions to blunt the feathered vandals.

"We are currently baiting the pigeons with an automatic feeder," Bill Stephenson, an animal control supervisor for the city, told Yeas & Nays. (But we thought Republicans just doled out tax breaks to keep everyone quiet and docile?)

"It dispenses about half a pound of cracked corn to condition the pigeons to take the bait at a certain time," Stephenson said. "After we get around six to 12 pigeons coming to the feeder, we will mix an oral contraceptive in with the corn. We plan on doing this for the next six to nine months until winter sets in and the birds begin to disappear." Pro-contraceptive Republicans?



They go on to report that Saint Paul officials will be taking a cue from the Bush administration's affection for extrajudicial interrogation techniques, placing "shock strips" on the city's many skyways to keep the pigeons away.

Of additional concern is the presence of the Dorothy Day Center, one of the city's largest shelters for the homeless, which is right across the street from the Xcel Energy Center, which will be serving as the convention venue. Back in 2004, the Village Voice followed two outreach workers from New York City's Partnership for the Homeless as they searched for the familiar faces they were used to providing assistance to, many of whom had "disappeared" in the weeks leading up to the GOP Convention.

According to Erin Dady, identified as Saint Paul's "convention czar," the Dorothy Day Center is expected to fall outside the convention's "security perimeter," though at the time, the extent of the perimeter had not been announced.

In an article in Tuesday's Colorado Independent, no crackdown on the homeless is planned for Denver's Democratic National Convention.

Denver's homeless have no need to worry, say[s]...Jamie Van Leeuwen, project manager for Denver's Road Home. Nobody will be moved anywhere. In fact, most shelters throughout the city will take a "business as usual" approach to the convention, with a few organizations extending hours or involving the homeless in politics-related activities.


"I will be upfront in saying that there have been questions and speculation about whether Denver is going to move the homeless out of the city," says Van Leeuwen. "We are combating the ongoing theme that Denver is hiding the homeless. Not only are we not hiding them, we are registering them to vote. We want them to know that our doors are open to services."

The Colorado Coalition for the Homeless plans on sponsoring a voter registration drive for the homeless, while two shelters will provide big-screen TVs so that their clients can watch the convention coverage. And Denver's organization for homeless teens, Urban Peak, will extend afternoon hours at its drop-in center, offering lunch, movies, and museum field trips to its clients.



Additional concerns for officials in advance of the Republican National Convention in Minnesota include extending the hours of area bars, securing the network of tunnels the emanate from the banks of the Mississippi River and run underneath the city, and, of course, the numerous people who plan to use Craiglist in an attempt to hook up with Larry Craig.

 
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Not so much pigeon dung as waist deep in their own bullsh*t.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:34 AM on 06/20/2008

They need to be concerned about the toe-tapping in the men's rooms, and the hookers servicing the family-values boys.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:32 AM on 06/20/2008

Trouble with birds?

Why not give "Dead-eye" Dick Cheney an automatic shotgun?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:16 AM on 06/20/2008
photo

Wonder if they'll be putting shock strips on the sidewalks to deter the homeless.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:05 AM on 06/20/2008

And don't forget your tranny whores for the widestance fella's

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:41 AM on 06/20/2008

Not the 300,000 raging demonstrators?...you fella's in the GOP had probably ought to do that overseas......perhaps in your new colonies...iraq or afghanistan!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:39 AM on 06/20/2008

Bwah ha ha!
Contraceptives for pesky pigeons, but NEVER for Americans who wish to be proactive about their reproductive choices? Wow - just goes to show you how STOOPID and hypocritical Republicans are.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:29 AM on 06/20/2008
photo

Contraceptives for pigeons? Don't pigeons have a "Right To Life" too?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:32 PM on 06/19/2008

To paraphrase Rev Wright, the pigeons are coming home to roost and poop at the GOP convention. God damn America!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:10 PM on 06/19/2008

This will be interesting to see what happens. If they help the poor --- feed them, clothe them, help them --- or if they distain the poor... they have an opportunity here.... but alas they will squander it.. The corinate the ice-queen and the frat boy with mechanical arms (RoboCain). Then they will step all over the poor and needy, claiming how righteous they are... all the while discrediting themselves with every step. The GOP is a sick sick bunk, and they don't even know it... it's sad

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:34 PM on 06/19/2008

The City of St Paul should be less concerned about the pigeons and more concerned about the Plague of Rats that will be infesting their Convention Center.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:10 PM on 06/19/2008

Pigeon poop won't be the stinkiest stuff in town. Joe LIEberman is giving a speech at the convention.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:08 PM on 06/19/2008

Let's put spicy colon- shattering chili in place of the contraceptives--just for old Joe.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:25 AM on 06/20/2008

I hope the pigeons get into their convention and have one big pooping party on their heads. In fact these pigeons need to come to NY and get as many of their friends as possible and just CRAP on them the entire convention. HOw fitting it would be they've crapped on our country and constitution and the pigeons Crap on them.

Carol

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:27 PM on 06/19/2008
- kvet I'm a Fan of kvet permalink

heck,,,,,why not let the poor homeless people storm the convention to remind them what they are doing to America......

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:17 PM on 06/19/2008
- soot I'm a Fan of soot permalink

That's real cute, the homeless men and women on the streets of St. Paul, Minnesota, the same people who fall victim to the failed domestic policies of the Republican party, are just a vanity issue for the RNC -- just a blemish to be painted over for when the cameras and press corps come to set up shop.

As a twin cities resident I can comfortably promise we're going to make their convention hell this fall.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 06:55 PM on 06/19/2008

HOW ABOUT SOME BEER DISCUSSION IN THE CONVENTION........MCBUSH WANTS TO VETO EVERY SINGLE BEER

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 06:00 PM on 06/19/2008
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