Nation Buys Porn With Stimulus Package

President Bush's economic stimulus package, which appears so far to have been ineffective in stroking the economy to life, is giving an unexpected raise to the porn industry.

From an Adult Internet Market Research Company press release:

An independent market-research firm, AIMRCo (Adult Internet Market Research Company), has discovered that many websites focused on adult or erotic material have experienced an upswing in sales in the recent weeks since checks have appeared in millions of Americans' mailboxes across the country.

According to Kirk Mishkin, Head Research Consultant for AIMRCo, "Many of the sites we surveyed have reported 20-30% growth in membership rates since mid-May when the checks were first sent out, and typically the summer is a slow period for this market."

[via Think Progress]

Comments

[macintoshsauce]

Porn? I used my $600 to buy food and pay some bills.

[frankky]

When they said stimulus package they did not specify what package to stimulate.

[speakingtruth2power]

Good one Frankky.

Save your money and let you wife stimulate your package is my advice.

[Daly]

How many really needy people are we to believe took porn over food, shelter, clothing?

[doctorwang]

During the Great Depression one of the very few businesses that actually thrived was the movie industry. (one of the others was the alcohol trade- either legal or illegal). Movies back then, and pornography today, are all forms of escapism. As the economy worsens, you will see a rise in both the movie and porn industries- as well as a sizeable increase in alcohol consumption (drug usage, too). It's a sign of the times.

[wmbear]

THAT'S ONE OF THE FUNNIEST HEADLINES...

I've ever seen! "Stimulus" package indeed!

[nativeeyes]

Government grown perverts, how typical!!

[acudoc]

Well...at least we are winning the...[DRUM ROLL] War on Terror!

[speedingpullet]

LOL - what did they expect?
That people would be sensible and actually save their payola?
Hasn't it already been shown that the average American will always spend above their means, be it Hummers, $750K 'starter homes' or porn....?

[applespider]

You said "hummers."

[wmbear]

NOW I CAN DIE...

A couple of months ago, I saw a stretch Hummer (limo), and now, just last week, I saw a stretch PICKUP. (I kid you not -- the cab part, of course, not the bed!)

[Maka]

Isn't this sort of perfect though? I mean, the Bush Administration has been pretty obscene.

[Boboday555]

This is more classic AWOL Bush!

His STATE-SIDE base likes Porn A LOT!
And they sure are grateful AWOL Bush, the evangelical, could be their enabler!
AWOL Bush; What Would Jesus THINK???

[AzRealProgressive]

I can answer that. He gave his life for us. He would probably be disappointed to see all of the horrible choices his humans make.

I think that he may even be more disappointed to see that there are those who have to ask what he would think ,because they are too ignorant to read the good book to find out.

So Boboday555 did you spend all of your money on porn? Or did you spend it on dope?

[faretheewell]

Yet another example of the law of unintended consequences! ;-)

[imusintheevening]

well they told us the package was to stimulate.

[thedirtman]

So to summarize, dirty old men are borrowing money from China to look at other people's sons and daughters naked. The bill will go to children not born yet. We defend it calling it capitalism, freedom and democracy. Fly the flag and call it patriotism. Wear it on your lapel. Just remember where it is when the fling is over.

[EarthToZoey]

Maybe you're referring to yourself, "thedirtman"? :P

[kellygrrrl]

STIMULATING!!!

[sociocanuck]

..."package". Huh huh.

[SirReal1]

Late in 2007 the U.S. Economy began to go flaccid. The Bush Administration attempted to implement several stimulus strategies to stroke it back to life, seeking to restore a firmer and more satisfying economical growth period and to inject some much needed liquidity to the several stagnant old markets for American deposits (housing, suffering recently from a drooping top end and sagging backside investments; Banking, which was suffering from a barren investment market in which no certain growth could be found in which to place their investments toward the birth of new financial gains).

Finally, the Administration seized upon the limp consumer spending segment as key to future market rigidity, injecting a bill (rhymes with pill) to authorize the distribution of several small blue checks to American households in an effort to bring a rise to their members and encourage copious spurts of spending throughout the economy.

Sadly, we now find that many household members used this stimulus to fund masturbatory spending in infertile markets and ultimately shot their entire load into the toilet of these flashy, but barren markets, spilling the seeds of a new rebirth in the American economy onto the ground of unproductive industries.

What a bunch of jerk-offs!

[matthewdsmith]

Haha. That was great.

[Bettysdad]

Now rewrite that whole thing from the women's point of view.

[mistlesuede]

Maybe it could be because these perverts cannot afford the gas to drive to the "Gentlemen's Clubs." (I always have found that description to be absolutely hysterical.) These charming places aren't just around the corner for most perverts, they require a pretty long drive. The perverts have a budget just like the rest of us I would guess.
I don't suppose they've thought of that.

[aFlyoverPerson]

I've always referred to them as "Big-Dumb-­Horny-YahW­ho's Clubs"

[ebanks84]

That's all this country needs "more filth" condoned by our filthy government.

[watcher269]

And 90% of them are Republicans - 3% are Preachers.

[kellygrrrl]

10% are judges and cops