6 Ways Not To Get A Second Date

The unholy trinity of Photoshop, spell check and the Internet mean that even the most illiterate, personality-deficient, hideous troll can land a first date, much to a lady's disappointment. Landing a second date is the tricky bit, so when you realize you'd like to never see this guy again, there are some tried and true strategies to assure that he decides the first date is also the last.

1. "Forget" your wallet. There is nothing more awkward than wrestling your date for the check. Actually, there is one thing more awkward--that's when you offer to split the check and he accepts; except you have no intention of following through and offer up this lame excuse in lieu of a handful of greenbacks.

2. Cry. Sobs of sadness, tears of joy--it doesn't matter. Water coming out of your eyeballs will kill the mood quicker than finding out he still sucks his thumb.

3. Inappropriate disclosure of the personal kind. You know how you've always really admired the curve of your brother's bum in his too-tight pair of Wranglers? Share that little tidbit and see what happens.

Read the rest.

-or-

Click here to learn CNN's tricks of the trade to decoding whether a woman is just not that into you.

Comments

[TheInsomniac]

This is vile from the first sentence.

[Eric8869]

How not to get a second date:

Repeat Talking points from Fox News

Defend George W Bush

Defend Torture of Innocent Human Beings

etc etc

[dadw5boys]

End things quickly just get up and walk out. Say sorry this is not going to work I got to go bye.

[OtayPanky]

The best thing to do - for men and women - is carry a small piece of rope in your purse or pocket.

About 10 inches will suffice.

Excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, where you gently tuck one end of the rope in your cheek. Then return to your date, and act like there's nothing amiss.

If you're questioned, just mumble that it's something you need to do sometimes.

Feel free to remove said rope during moments of eating and drinking...but then reposition it after your sated.

That'll do it, every time.

Or - you could make the radical move of just being honest about your disinterest...but that's probably too much to ask of most folks. The rope thing is easier.

[im10ashus]

No. 7 - Admit you just read this crap.