Michelle Obama Talks About "Guilt" Women Hold

First Read:

A day after the revelation of Jesse Jackson's crude criticism of Barack Obama's speeches on fatherhood and faith-based initiatives, this morning Michelle Obama was talking about fatherhood, responsibility and accountability.

...

Obama used the roundtable audience, as she did yesterday, to describe her husband's understanding of women's issues through the prism of the strong -- but sometimes struggling -- women in his life.

His own mother, she said at the beginning of her remarks, was "very young and very single when she had him." And, Obama added, he has observed his wife's attempts to reconcile motherhood with her career aspirations.

"He sees me, his wife, who struggles every day with that guilt that we all hold deep in our hearts as women," she said. "That guilt that you don't have the choice to stay home, and even if you do, you feel guilty."

"He has seen me struggle with this my entire life," she added. "Trust me, Barack understands the struggles of women."

Read the whole story: First Read

Comments

[drd1044]

I am confused about Michelle's comment that Obama's mother was very single when he was born. i though his parent's were married. i checked Wikipedia and according to them they were married. Does any one know if they were or did his father abandon them before he was born? It would explain a lot about him and his comments about fathers and responsibility.

[Tommygun264]

I'm not sure if his parents were officially divorced or even formally separated until shortly after Barack Obama was born, but my understanding is that even when his parents were still technically together, his father was in and out, mostly out. However, I haven't researched the details of this period in his life in depth.

[drd1044]

Thanks for your prompt response

[eden4barack08]

"single" in the sense she had no " hands on husband" maybe. Barack's father was a foreign student, probably spent more time at the University than anything else, then left for Harvard only two years after Barack's birth. Married for 2+ years in paper maybe, but for all practicality, seems like she was alone to raise him from the start, thank God for grandparents.

[tsktsktsk]

Have you tried reading his books?

[drd1044]

Yes and according to them his parents were married. That is why i am confused.

[drd1044]

I hate to harp on this but I am 63 and women who had illegitimate children in the days when Obama was born was stigmatised as well as their children, much less a bi-racial child. I know, I have friends in that position. Many politicians. as well as many of the most famous people in history, have viewed the circumstances of their birth as very shameful to them. They hid it but it was/is very painful to them. Again, it is not a situation of Gotca but understanding the person who may be the next president of the US. I am very sensitive to this issue of paternity and parental responsibility after Jesse Jackson's remarks.

[Seattlelite]

drd1044 -- "I think" what Michelle is saying is, his father wasn't there, married or not his mother was raising a son as a single mother.

[gala1]

How lucky for Michelle that this appears on a censored site where dissent is conveniently obliterated in favor of homogenized affirmation. Otherwise someone might get to read this:

Hm, I guess exempted from that guilt, responsibility and accountability is taking the last in a string of patronage fluff Daley machine jobs from a NON-PROFIT HOSPITAL for $150,000 a year which suddenly doubles overnight to $300,00 at exactly the same coincidental time your husband goes off to Washington where he can vote on legislation favorable to your employer. You can Google this.
Fortunately your last name isn't Clinton or McCain. And the press is still giving you a free pass-- at least til later.

Or your guilt is such that you get a cozy little populst million dollar mortgage . With VERY convenient terms
Then there is the Lady Macboma kind of guilt of making toast of the career ot the woman who gave your husband, the Thane of Closed Door, his first break. By breaking his firs recorded promise. Google it.

Is that an Entitlement I see before me?

PS I am writing in Hillary. At least with her, what you see is what you get.

-gala1

[chitown8]

Michelle got that job because she was keeping Barack hold in The University of Chicago. As a professor of Law Barack earn 185k per year. Michelle was a partner in her law firm where they also had a interest in the Hospital. I bet you have never visited Chicago? You have no idea how things are done here. Daley might has his faults but Chicago is a Hell of a better place than it was several years ago. Crime is everywhere and that is not the City fault. The jails can hold them all yet we don't have enough funding to build more. Also she did get a million $$$ mortgage. Where do you thing they where live before in a box. They sold their property and put down a hefty down payment , plus their credit score and got a great rate. Do you honestly hate blacks that much? Why don't you write in Hillary pay your own debts!

[gala1]

Hate blacks? Why would I hate blacks?
I'd be writing exactly the same thing if these people were albinos.

Nope, I hate corruption.
I hate hypocrisy.
I hate that people like you are allowed to make racist remarks instead of solving anything and that's allowable on this site.

I hate people who game the entitlement system and then pretend otherwise.
I hate that someone could take $300,000 from a NON-PROFIT HOSPITAL for a fluff job-- how many surgeons do you think got that size salary. And you think the thing to do is point the finger at me and call me a racist. Instead of thinking about what i said.

And I dont even mention before ehat this entitlement thing goes all the way back to Michelle's parents who are Daley doers , so she is second generation t o be milking it.

And I hate that Michael Moore knows all about this hospital thing and is still supporting Obama.

You can say what you like about Hillary but she never paid for her kid's piano lessons with money wrested from the hands of the suffering, the uninsured and the dying.

Do you understand that a NON-PROFIT HOSPITAL has to charge it's patients to pay this hypocrite? And some others had to take up the slack in that mortgage?

And although this is newsworthy it is being given a free pass?

Hate blacks. As if.
Tthe only reason this happens is sheep like you let it happen.

-gala1

[ObserverinVancouver]

Do you have confirmation that Sen. Obama got 185k from University of Chicago? That seems like a lot for a part-time faculty member.

[biglith]

Who cares?

[athenalong]

I know.

LAME.

[CA40]

To correct you gala1 - all non-profit companies pay their upper staff (who run the show) a "salary"..­..you might want to notice that UNITED WAY pays the CEO over a half a million or more a year; The Red Cross - non-profit - pays their CEO's just about the same. Michelle Obama went to college, got a degree and IS A WORKING MOTHER. Now you go ahead and write in Hillary - for god sakes send her $40 million dollars - she's out of money...I mean how long can $100 million last? Until Bill's next trip to Columbia!

Go ahead and vote for McCain....­you must be one of the Whiners Gramm referred to today. Hillary ran a bad campaign and AMERICANS VOTED FOR OBAMA; NOT HILLARY? She stayed in way too long and btw - there are a bunch of colleges and little businesses she owes money too..maybe you can send them what she owes too...in my eye she cheated american, the little guy and the colleges..­..

[gala1]

It's really interesting that whenever I bring this up , everyone except Michelle Obama is invoked.
She was not a CEO , she was merely a community relations liaison. Since when do they make $300,000 a year ANYWHERE?

Whatever Hillary Clinton's money issues are, how does that have any bearing on this?
Why are you give this woman a free pass?
She wouldn't be paying your hospital expenses if you were there, would she?

She's a college graduate. well, who isn't .Big woo.
It does not guarantee you, unfortunately six figures that go double the day your husband is in a position to do your boss some favors.

I don't know why you think I am voting for McCain . I always make it clear I don't want either or these really bad ideas as my choice.

Whoever you want, McCain is what you are going to get.
I think there should be reality trips into the flyover for so many of you.
You'd go back with calluses on your jaws from the number of times they'd drop.

You just don't get it that there are two separate realities that will be voting . And Obama won't win because he simply won't hav the leading demographics.

If you didn't secretly already suspect that you wouldn't be so hostile and defensive. Well, it's your dream, cling to it while you can.
You could've had him around after january if he'd been willing to be vice-president but hubris is as hubris does.

[Sneaky]

Wait, you mean Obama is... just another politician? Get the eff outa here, we can't have none of that.

[batchick]

Just curious . . . you wrote: "PS I am writing in Hillary. At least with her, what you see is what you get." Can you expand on that?

With John McCain you'll get:

"Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb bomb Iran"
More dead soldiers in Iraq for . . . how long???
The replacement of at least two Supreme Court justices. John McCain: "Roe v. Wade should be overturned­."
Someone who cheated on his first wife with a multi-millionaire heiress immediately following a deadly car crash that left his wife hospitalized.
$750,000 credit card charges in May alone? Didn't they just forget to pay taxes on one of their seven houses, too?
Keating Five
"Doesn't know much about the economy"

The list easily goes on and on . . . GOOGLE IT! I'd love to continue, but I have to get up at 5:00AM for one of my three jobs so that I can afford to keep paying my health insurance premiums, spend $70 to fill my car up with gas, and spend heaven only knows how much on groceries, since food prices increased in this country 5% during the past year alone (the highest annual increase in almost 20 years, according to the Labor Department) and are projected to go even higher. Many staples have risen well beyond that. But hey, you can Google that, too.

Meanwhile, good luck with your strategy. If we see enough of that kind of apathy and Senator McCain actually gets elected, you'll know you've

[mommamia526]

Yes, batchick, it is too late for you. She wrote: I am writing in Hillary. She did not say I am voting for McCain.

[uheardme]

When Obama is elected President in a historic election, these Hillaryites will be breaking their finger nails to get in here and claim they voted for him. Kinda like the tens of MILLIONS of whites claiming they were involved in the Civil Rights movement.

[sangsue]

I have no kids. My friends who work and have kids have the same sentiment that Michelle Obama does. So do a lot of working mothers.

But this is how it will play.

The right will talk about how she had no business working if she felt guilty and that'll be shown over and over on all the MSN. By the time they're done with her, she'll be called the "Guilty woman who cares more about her job than her kids." Rush will talk about how she should just stay in the kitchen and women have no business working anyway.

The femminsts on the left will hate her too because she dared voice ambivalence about the choice of working and being at home for her kids. Gloria Stenheim will say that she's filled with self-hatred and mobilize all the PUMA women to bring the Democratic Convention to its knees.

I hope I'm wrong but based on how they jump on everything the Obamas say and are letting Phil Gramm's comments and McCain cake walk, I doubt it.

[mamacat]

Let's see, a man whose father and grandfather were four star admirals, and who was born into a lfie of privilege, or a man who was raised by a single mother and her family, and then raised himself up. Who can I better relate to?

[flamflurm]

Were you, perchance, brought up in Indonesia by a Harvard educated single mom?

[gala1]

And married first to a bigamist, and who is one of nine children scattered all over the globe by his dad's four wives.

And whose grandmother, --you know, the one that bothered to raise you-not the African one, got called a typical white woman by you,,Making you the first politician to actually throw your granny under a bus to further your self-interests.
Like all these typical white grandparents are about to forget that one and vote you in.

Good luck getting this past the Flyover.
Why do you think Limbaugh just got that huge contract now?

And I'm writing in Hillary so don't you bother telling me I am a GOP troll simply because I see Obama as a Hologram. And McCain as doddering and taxidermied.
Neither of these inadequate ambitious men is worth squandering a vote over.

Why do you think electing the least of Two Bad Ideas will fix anything? We deserve better.
We'll need a scoreboard to see how fast they can break the campaign promises.

-gala1

[chitown8]

His mother never went to Harvard it was his father. His mother went to the University of Hawaii. Then she studied abroad in Indonesia.

[faithfully]

His mother did not go to Harvard. Read the book

[SilviaMaria]

I really love this woman. She is smart, articulated, funny and interesting. She does talk about real issues. Before moving to Florida, I worked, I was lucky that I got 12 week maternity leave, not enough; I pumped at work so I could continue breastfeeding for a year. I remember that I could not wait to leave work to see my baby and I feel guilt when I had to stay at work because of deadlines (my husband worked out of the house so he took care of him). We left Massachusetts, I had a second baby and I am staying home. I always wanted to stay home with my children, so now I do. It is a good thing I do not have to work outside the house, but being home with the kids has been the hardest thing I have ever done. I am happy that my children are fine and happy and I am able to spend time with them, doing things, taking them to places, etc.

[RodgerLodger]

It's going to be great to hear the Obamas lecture us on how to live. Finally a president and first lady who will get into all aspects of our lives. Help us, Obamas!

[eden4barack08]

Yes, finally, real people folks can relate to!

Get used to it.

[Strywever]

Bet they won't be getting into who we have sex with, who we marry, whether or not to pull the plug when we've been in comas for years, etc. ad nauseum -- because THOSE issues are the sole purview of the "smaller government, more individual responsibility" party . . . right?

[demfriend]

After the remake and the lies about people feeling "bitter", and I do every day about a massive amount of things this administration has doen to us all, what will the word guilt bring? I know every mom who loves their kids above almost everything else and some everything else, has the feelings of dread that they have to give their kids to someone else to watch the first steps the first words and so on. And yes the feeling of guilt is the big one that the world somehow has made the not be able to be a stay at home mom. They have to work to give their family what they need and many times take the job that is the best for the family needs and not the best for them and their skills.

[Yola]

So right Mrs. Obama! Every day I get up and look at my little babies I feel so guilty that I cannot spend more time with them because I have to work to maintain the lifestyle I have grown accustomed to BUT I not only feel guilt I get angry because most Americans can't exist on one salary! I also get envious when I compare my 6 weeks maternity to European's 1+ year! So right on lady, right on!

[BEHM777]

I wonder how Fox is going to twist this.

BEHusseinM777

[eden4barack08]

Hmmm...
Hannity- " Michelle, angry and bitter again, because America forced her to work for a living, we'll talk about this and Jesse with Rove, tonight on Hannity's America."

Methinks.

[Strywever]

"Michele Obama could afford to stay home and raise her kids, so what is she complaining about?"

[biglith]

Who cares?

[chitown8]

Wrong at time they both had educational loans that need to be paid. Obama only earned 95k from the State senate, and was working part time to UofC. His firm was not that well high end. His firm dealt with civil rights. Plus they had a condo off the lake on the South Side. Not mention Obama taking care of his younger brothers,sister, Michelle mother, his mother mediacl bills ( she died of cancer), paying for his grandmother care and residence . Obama is as normal as it get. They have money now the difference is Mccain married it Obama earned it. I respect a person more to earned it the hard way than sweet talking someone out of their trust fund. O'08. God knows I wish I had the making to earn that now. Yet I can't just divorce my hubby and hope a trust sugar daddy walks by. I have to earn it myself.

[oscartucker]

Even if someone can stay home and raise her children, she can still have a feeling of guilt. I am very glad that many who could have stayed home went to work instead because they made a great difference in the lives of so many.

[atienne]

Some of you debate so well (Sandtats, Thehardertheycome) I have to wonder what SOME people are even trying to prove with their comments!

I know plenty of women who feel guilty over their choices. I am one. I'd love to dedicate everything to my kids but if I didn't work...I couldn't give them a home, food, activities (like their sports) pay the bills, etc. I don't have a fancy home and no designer clothes on my rear...we'­re just trying to make it with a charming but somewhat small home, two vehicles and all the bills that come along PLUS student loans. So, yeah...my vote goes to O because what on earth is McGeez offering women??? Can someone post something? Hmm??? Oh, McGeez may not have voted on the bill to give women equal pay but he was certainly against it! Because of lawsuits he claimed. He more than likely forgot to show up!

Riddle me this...why does McGeez have one of the WORST voting records in the Senate? He wasn't ALWAYS running for prez! Anyway, I'll be waiting for what McPops is proposing for women!

Please bring it!

[dnegri]

Be careful, Michelle, be real careful. You know those wingnut "family values" groups will scrutinize every word you use....wat­ch out for words like "guilty"..­...easy to distort and those scumbag groups will do it every time they can. Be careful, Michelle..­..(in short, don't be too "authentic").

[dora rice]

I feel sorry for Obama, and I don't even like him.

[olivia]

I feel sorry for YOU.

[gala1]

How is it , Olivia that you have have been on the Huffington Post for last 15 hours straight?

You have made so many comments attacking anyone who doesn't agree with you --Check her profile-- that the profile space only goes back till noon before it is full.
I've been watching it since morning.

How many Olivias are there really and who is paying them?.

What exactly is going on here?
-gala1

[VOTER]

You have NO IDEA how many here hold great sympathy for you.

And we don't even like you! ; - /

[Strywever]

Strong women scare you, do they?

[biglith]

Who cares?

[dora rice]

Why can't she just be quiet.

[VOTER]

Why can't YOU just be quiet?

[SmartMoves]

Be quiet for what? She is no Cindy McCain or Laura Bush. Besides she has a right to speak on personal issue that affect her and other women.

[olivia]

She didn't go to the same First Ladybot school as Laura, where they don't come out until it's time to read a script.

[eden4barack08]

You talking about that "Stepford School"?

[Obama08Supporter]

For the same reason, you are never quite. What? Is there a double standard here? Shut the H*ell up and go to bed witch.

[abby4ever]

Grow up. You talk like a twelve year old brat.

[sarasotajeff]

why would she?
she has a platform, she has a lot to say and is incredibly articulate.
she's engaging, genuine and warm, and she's funny.
she's the best actual or potential first lady in your lifetime - the intelligence and sincerity she will take to the whitehouse next year will have an impact.

[MissingAmerica]

Lots of women feel this way. Working or staying home is a difficult choice. You want to be the best you can be for your children, and the best you can be may involve being out in the workplace. For many women who devote their life to their children, it means giving up a part of themselves, and that is not being the best you can be. If we have a single or divorced mother, the choice has been taken away which, for those who wish to be stay-at-home mothers, is even hardest. Thank you, Michelle, for speaking out on a very difficult issue for women.

[abby4ever]

***... it means giving up a part of themselves, and that is not being the best you can be.***

Some would disagree. Giving up a part of yourself involves sacrifice, and some would say that last is quite noble...an­d may well make you the best you can be. For myself, I think if women have a choice--- i.e. where they don't have to work to support their children---- they should either work and not have children or have children and not work.

[pupbayer]

Michelle could have stayed home with the children. I'm sure they could have managed without her salary. If she has guilt, she needs to either change her choice or seek therapy.

[mcgreen]

You must be a man because you oh so obviously don't get enough it.

[pupbayer]

Wrong. Single mother here.

[mindlessmissy]

Nice CONSERVATIVE talking point ... with this economy the only people who can afford staying home are the Gramms and the McBushes. The rest of us with actual bills to pay HAVE TO WORK ....

[pupbayer]

Are we talking about now that they are millionaires or are we talking about 1998 when their first child was born? In 1998, he was making about $50,000 as a state senator. Then he had his salary from teaching constitutional law. Hey, I was a single parent and could have done quie nicely on that.

[Nolewoman]

Just how do you know that they could have done without her salary? Where you there with them? They both had student loans to pay off, probably very expensive ones considering where they went to college. And, perhaps she wanted to work, nothing wrong with that. Maybe you should be a different kind of repug and know what you are talking about before you voice your biased opinion.

[pupbayer]

She's the one whining about it, not me.

[olivia]

She was his boss.

He took a low-paying job working to help poor people in the dodgy end of Chicago.

I'm sure it was a tough choice at the time.

She gets it. Michelle gets it.

[pupbayer]

Then maybe HE could have stayed home with the kids.

[VOTER]

pupbayer

Read your Profile. ROFL!

[pupbayer]

Good! You should do some intelligent reading everyday! Glad I could be of service!