Baby Wants Improv: Tackling The Tough Issues At The UCB Marathon

"Baby Wants Candy" is a musical improv group. Their schtick is performing a full-length musical — from scratch — based on a random suggestion from the audience. Then they present "the Opening Night - and the Closing Night' of that musical. The did a run of shows leading up to this weekend's Del Close Marthon at the Upright Citizen's Brigade theater (one weekend, hundreds of hours of straight improv across multiple locations), and on Wednesday night, the suggested title was "Try Not To Be So Racist, Grandma" — which turned out to be a pretty uplifting (and hilarious) musical about racism, homophobia, ageism, and acceptance (told in themes surrounding an awkward family Thanksgiving dinner). I'm making this sound far more innocuous than it was — the material was not PG in any way, and it definitely took some risks — but the underlying message of the show that materialized was pretty clear.

I was in the third row with my camera, and I managed to catch almost all the musical numbers in order to share it with comedy lovers who missed it (and I'll be doing that for whatever else I attend over the weekend). Be warned — this material is not for the squeamish, it may offend/gross out/be a little on the explicit side. But it's pretty damn brilliant, it's pretty damn hilarious, and it was made up on the spot — and its heart is in the right place. It also features some pretty hot dancing by Jeff Hiller, a compelling romantic hero in Ross Bryant (think John Cusack hoisting a boombox, except it's more like a bedpan), and Colleen McHugh as the multi-faceted Grandma with the lungs of a champion and the heart of a very exclusive country club member. There are no faces in the program so I'll get back to you on the rest, but for the sake of their self-Google alerts, here's the cast, band and crew:: Joey Bland, Ross Bryant, Jeff Hiller, Bob Kulhan, Peter Gwinn, JackMcBrayer, Colleen McHugh, Stuart Ranson, Albert Samuels, Eliza Skinner, Steve Jabas, David Andrew Moore, Johnny Pisano, Jody Shelton, and Emily Dorezas.

Here, filmed very amateurly for your pleasure (and sorry for the wobbling, that was when I was shaking with laughter) is the opening - and closing - night of "Try Not To Be So Racist, Grandma" - the musical.

Opening - The musical opens in the home of a family, preparing to gather for Thanksgiving dinner.]

"So Many Colors" - Gail and her lover, Bertha, discuss their upcoming trip to Gail's home for Thanksgiving, where their relationship will be revealed. Gail asks Bertha, who is part-Cherokee with a full mustache, not to spring her whole, very multi-faceted identity on the family at once; Bertha regretfully explains that she can be nothing but herself.

"Good Food" - A little girl, Jeff, throws her baseball into the yard of two Italian kids, who hold it hostage in return for her indentured servitude. Their first request: Bring them something to eat.

"Grandma's Story" - Grandma gets a visit from her Meals-on-Wheels attendant, a self-described "moo-lato," who is in love with her. She warns him about falling for her ("I buried seven husbands - four of them were dead") but he can't stop his passion, which moves her ("Your words - they break my hip"). She tells him her story (in two parts, sorry).

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"Bowl & Spoon" - Gail's mom begs her daughter to keep the secrets of her 'alternative lifestyle' from the family for just one more day, so they can get through Thanksgiving; Gail wonders why her mother seeks the security of constantly mixing something in an imaginary bowl with an imaginary spoon. Soul-searching ensues.

"Wham!" - Jeff teaches the boys to follow their dreams, and in so doing releases herself - and them - from the shackles of their servitude. Joyful jumping ensues.

"Sharks" - Gail's repressed mother is unlocked by the sensual Bertha. Sensual dancing ensues.

"ABCDEFG - I Wanna See!" - The gang gets together for Thansgiving, and the Meals on Wheels attendant expunges the racism out of grandma in a special way while the family watches.

Um, I expect you'll let me know what you think in the comments section - next up, BWC's special rendition of "Death of a Bureaucrat" featuring 30 Rock's Jack McBrayer and Colbert Report writer Peter Gwinn.