Dane Cook Slams Own Movie's Poster

Dane Cook is NOT HAPPY with the new poster for his upcoming film My Best Friend's Girl, seen in full below. He posted the following rant about the design and bad photoshopping on his MySpace page. The film is out in September.

Before the downpour let me just say that my new movie, "My Best Friends Girl," is the best / funniest film I've done yet. It's got a terrific cast. Kate Hudson, Alec Baldwin, Jason Biggs, and myself really kicked the funny around. This movie showcases our talents accordingly as it expands on them. It's a fun R-rated flick. An edgy comedy with a dash of romance.

That being said, let me address the fact that although I'm not a marketing major, I have a bit of a trusted reputation after 18 years self promoting. I'd like to inform you I had no say in this marketing campaign, but if I did, things would be different since it is obvious that this poster is boring / odd and has zero to do with the movie I performed in.

Here are a few things that truly blow about my upcoming movie poster to promote the release of the film opening on September 19th:

1. Graphics:
Whoever photoshopped our poster must have done so at taser point with
3 minutes to fulfill their hostage takers deranged obligations. They should have called Donnie Hoyle and had him give a tutorial using "You Suck at Photoshop" templates. This is so glossy it makes Entertainment Weekly look wooden.

2. My head:
The left side of my face seems to be melting off of my skull. I guess I am looking directly into the Ark of the Covenant? Are they going for the bells palsy thing here? My left side looks like Brittany Spears' vagina.

3. The Stare.
My character apparently has fallen in love with a strand of Kate Hudsons hair. Kate's mannequin is desperately in love with the inside of my right ear while Jason is half stunned, half corsage.

4. Lips:
It looks like I'm wearing Maybelline Water Shine Diamonds Liquid Lipstick. My characters name is now Winter Solstice and I'm a hooker with a heart of gold. Jason is my floral carrying pimp, while Kate is my first trick!

5. Fashion:
My character is sporting a very high collar I mean damn they should be snow capped at that altitude. It's going for the vampire lurking in the castle basement vibe. An Olympic pole vaulter would have a tough go clearing that collar. I'm also able to turn my head comfortably 180 degrees, because I was raised in an abandoned barn by a family of owls.

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6. Flesh:
It's no secret that I'm more rugged facially due to a drunken visit by the teen acne fairy, but according to this poster I've got perfect porcelain flesh. I look like the fuckin' bathroom floor at Caesars Palace. One of Marie Osmond's dolls would look at me and say "shit ... that guys got flawless skin!"

7. Hair:
It's actually a close up shot of Tom Sellecks Magnum P.I. mustache they photo-slapped on my noggin'.

8. The set:
Pick one. This entire film takes place:

A. on Gattaca
B. at the Fortress of Solitude
C. inside a crystal wind chime

9. The cast:
Alec Baldwin is so fucking funny in this movie! Is he on the poster? I think so. He plays the wise talking plant Jason is clutching.

10. Final thoughts:
I set out to make a movie like the contemporary men and women, that you and I respect, are making. My generation of comedians, actors, directors and producers that I wish to collaborate with as I build a solid body of work.

Granted, one poster stinking up the joint isn't the end of the world. Yet it sends the wrong message about our movie and I just wanted you to know, that I feel the pain. I really love the film and I know from past missteps marketing wise that the wrong poster sends the wrong audience into the theater.

Thanks again for all of your support. If you have not seen the red band trailer (which is excellent and represents the flick accordingly) click on the link at the top of this page.

PS - "Its funny what love can make you do." I just threw up all over this awful poster.
Wow, wait ... it looks better.

Hey ... I love my new movie. Jeez ... it IS funny what love can make you do.

Comments

[HC4BO]

Dane Cook ??? Isn't he the chef on Ultimate Chef Competition ...

[SharonB]

Dane who?????

Oh, never mind, I looked up "self absorbed" in the dictionary and there was a picture of him there.

Dang, little man, get over yourself. This is not quite as important as world peace and global warming, okay??? Who pays attention to movie posters anyway?? You and your mom???

[marred]

I really hate stupid movies. The stupid posters don't bother me at all.

[alguien]

if he's so concerned about leaving behind a solid body of work then why is he making movies like "good luck chuck," "employee of the month" and the one discussed in this article. the fact that kate hudson is in this movie is a sure sign of its innate awfulness.

[DanielTana]

Say what you want about the photoshopping, but it's funny to me that he criticizes the wardrobe, his hair, and the left side of his face because: 1) he was probably actually wearing those clothes, 2) that's probably how his hair was actually done, and 3) that's what his face always looks like. I thought I was just being mean subconsciously because I think that he's the most arrogant, talentless, and rude comedian to ever live (oh, and he steals a lot of material), but if you look him up on IMDB or anywhere else, you too can see, his face is always kind of weird looking. I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just saying.

And even if the guy who made the poster did do a shoddy job, then Dane Cook should be proud of the guy. After all, Dane Cook has made himself rich and famous by being (less than) mediocre at his job.

[nsmavrik]

And I suppose you know what Comedy is? Enlighten us.

[Charity]

*nsmavrik* - dane apologist alert.....­.or, dane, is that you?

[lolyla]

Okay: Comedy is funny. Now do you see the problem?

[ENK727]

Good way to help the movie get some extra attention. His rant was pretty funny.

[Eric8869]

It looks horrible - like when they photoshop the video/DVD box and just put the stars on it instead of anything having to do with the movie. The Marketing team definately doens't deserve much money for this one. Right on Dane!

Altho Dane Cook still owes me $3 for renting EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH. UGH.

[Susan60]

Damn Dane is funny. I will see the movie now just because his take on the crappy marketing made me roll with laughter.

[misanthropexlife]

I still won't see that movie, but I agree with him about the poster. I hate stupid movie posters that really don't tell you anything and that look more photoshopped than Mariah Carry. Sorry, I'll pass on another lame Dane Cook movie.

[joebiz]

Yeah, you tell 'em Dane!

And, what's with the title being written with all lower case letters? Shouldn't the poster be grammatically correct? Was it written by the same guys who directed his last movie?

[Nikelaus]

translation: Because I'm a loser, and because Alec Baldwin is not on the poster, nobody will come to see my movie. boo. hoo.

[jozielee]

What a great way to advertise a movie! Good for Dane Cook. I can't count the many movies I missed in the theatre because the poster or the commercial was misleading. Thank goodness for DVD.

[JackND]

Hilarious, and he's quite right...aw­ful poster. Kate is the only one that doesn't look ridiculous.

[yngcelt]

LOL
I love Dane Cook! SUFI!!
He is so right about the poster. Of course, there have been many others just like it over the years where you look at the poster and your eyes actually start to hurt from seeing all the inconsistencies and the bad photoshopping.
And I agree with FCBarca, it is nice to hear celebrities speak up about things like this instead of trying to play the role of "environmentalist" or "political expert" and bad mouth their own country.

[Charity]

get over yerself, dane. poster sucks - take it up with your film's publicity dept, not on your myspace page - at least not in this great detail. just makes you look like a narcissist.

[yngcelt]

Gee, I thought Myspace was supposed to be a place for people to express themselves. I didn't realize that you, Charity, were the official police officer of Myspace and the World Wide Web.

[Charity]

you didn't? wow. where have you been? LOL. if it's his movie, the place to take his complaints is with the producers and the publicity dept. that myspace page comment(s) only make him look like a big headed dork. oh, yeah.