Meet The Male Spinster

Details.com:

"These guys get labeled playboy, loser, commitment-phobe," says Carl Weisman, author of So Why Have You Never Been Married? According to U.S. Census Bureau statistics, in 1980 only 6 percent of men between 40 and 44 had never been married; in 2008 it was 16 percent. But even though there are more of them around, men with long-term single status still have a hard time explaining their situation to potential dates, who see a guy entering middle age without ever having been married as damaged goods. In fact, a man whose marriage failed spectacularly tends to arouse less suspicion than a straight, still-single 41-year-old. "If he's over 40, you would hope that he's divorced," says Janis Spindel, a high-end matchmaker in New York who gets calls from hundreds of single women asking for setups. Evidence that even unmarried men in their mid-thirties are suspect is in her fee structure: The up-front charge for guys under 35 is $25,000; for those 35-plus it's $50,000.

Read the whole story: Details.com

Comments

[LordMoon]

04:17 PM on 08/25/2008

Recently I read an article on Phil Collins, who lost 35 million dollars in his 3rd Divorce, there are plenty of examples why men don't want to get married any more.

Harrision Fords, $135 million dollar divorce is another prime example....

Marriage isn't such a good deal for men anymore, I'm glad we've finally caught on.

[sedum]

11:46 AM on 08/25/2008

Skirting the topic just a bit, I tried to hold my ring finger up in the same position as the hand in the photo only to realize that only a married man could possibly contort himself like that due to bending backwards continually.

[southernlib]

12:54 PM on 08/22/2008

I always say, If I were a man, I would have stayed single until 40 and married a 25-year-old and had a family. At least I would hope it would be that easy! The reality is, it's probably much more complicated.

[sonny088]

08:37 AM on 08/22/2008

I'm a 36 yr old male, and I love being single, frankly, I couldn't care less how I'm labeled. I am honest and up front with women I date, I tell them right away that I am not looking for a permanent relationship. This does limit how many dates I get, but since I already have plenty of perspective partners, its a moot point. For those of you who are married or want to be, hey go knock yourself out. But I don't see things changing for me anytime soon.

[tlgeiger62]

05:59 AM on 08/22/2008

The grass is always greener folks!

[joebiz]

02:52 AM on 08/22/2008

I know men in their 40s that are on their 2nd or 3rd marriage, must support multiple kids, been wiped out by the divorces (said bye bye to retirement, house, 401K, half their income (alimony, child support)) and look like they're 55+ in age. Some of these men brought it upon themselves; they were cheaters, drunks, abusive, or drug addicts. Some became this after a few years of marriage while others were always damaged.

The opportuity to see others in their marriage "bliss" actually opened the eyes of many men and decided to postpone marriage until: they found someone worthwhile; they got their education and or finances in order; were able to solve personal issues with intimacy, communication, trust, bad habits, etc.

Other "impediments" are the ease of access to sex. It's easy for men to hook up with women for sex, either sites that cater to men looking for sex; women who are more apt to sleep with men without anything in return, or at least they don't want to bind the man to a long term commitment; ease of travel to foreign countries for sexual encounters.

Many men don't have a steady stream of women and the ones they do meet, do not meet either the expectations of an "older" man. Older men are able to see through a woman's BS much easier and thus are not settling.

[Dianekkdi]

04:12 PM on 08/21/2008

Oh please! If I had to do it over again, I'd be a virginal PHD with toys.

Marriage -- even once -- is overated, as are men and sex. I can't blame any man for feeling exactly the same way.

[gluvox12]

01:33 PM on 08/21/2008

Why buy the cow?

[JohnFromCensornati]

12:50 PM on 08/21/2008

Over 40 and never married?
G@y or loser.

[MikeDu]

02:26 PM on 08/21/2008

I noticed you said 'never' instead of not 'not' married. That means you discern some sort of a distinction between getting dumped after you walk down the aisle and before you walk down the aisle? Its still getting dump, except in the latter she's got half your stuff. Half the women I know got married because their biological clock went off. So big deal, you got married - you won a game of musical chairs.

[JohnFromCensornati]

04:32 PM on 08/21/2008

That was a smart remark about a stupid article and it was not meant to reflect anybody's reality. I have *never* been married.

[lioness39]

03:20 PM on 08/21/2008

Neither. Merely smart.