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The DNC Funnies: The 23/6 Big Tent Comedy Show

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As mentioned, last night I was lucky to be included in 23/6's Big Tent comedy show, along with far brighter lights like Fred Armisen, Eugene Mirman, Lee Camp, Portfolio's Matt Cooper, Air America's Sam Seder, and a fabulous duo from Barely Political. I sang a song.

A word on that - I'm posting the lyrics below but with the understood caveat that it was NOT meant to be media criticism (though there's a little in there) nor an expression of an endorsement (though I have been candid about my political leanings, were I able to vote in this country). I make a point of backing up whatever position I take on ETP with facts and arguments so that my line of reasoning is clear, and it's just not quite the same way when writing a song for a comedy show with actual real-live comedians in the two hours you have before the thing starts (really). There are punch lines to consider, a narrative to build in and meter to work within -- oh, and an audience to try and keep from throwing tomatoes at you. Also I was limited to 5 minutes so I really couldn't make the "Huckabee gets free Wendy's for life/Kucinich has a hot, hot wife" joke I was gunning for. So, please don't take this as my regular ETP fodder. Though, I do stand by it.

But, I did it, and this is as good a place for it as any. So, I am including the lyrics below! I will add 23/6 video as it comes in. Thanks to producer Alex Leo and 23/6 for including me, and Fred and Matt for the pep-talks.

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Matt Cooper is so fearless and hilarious. His John McCain impression was great.

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Eugene Mirman does not appreciate your weird Russian stereotypes.

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Me! My song is below. Read and enjoy with appropriate disclaimers.

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Lee Camp was energetic and bitingly funny. If I could cast him in a musical, it would be "Berger" in Hair.

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Fred Armisen reprised his awesome "Nicolas Fein" character from SNL. It was really -- I mean, you should have heard -- and he totally had a point -- do you remember that show where he talked about -- I know, it's unbelievable! -- anyway, you know what I mean.


Campaign 2008

(To "American Pie")

A long long time ago
Campaign '08 started,
Oh, how fast those 36 months went
And I recall thinking back then
Which one of all those rich white men
Would end up being our next president?

We watched debates through spring and summer
When Rudy was the clear front runner
Hillary led, of course
But could Edwards be a dark horse?

The campaign was on with no looking back
And it seemed like things were all on track
Not a chance for some guy named Barack
In this, campaign '08

So bye bye to the campaign gone by
Every newsday Super Tuesday
As the headlines would fly
Then the call of change became a rallying cry--
Who'da thunk that he'd be the guy?
Well listen and I'll tell you all why...

There were eight Dems in the race back then
Clean and articulate like Joe Biden
Except Gravel, who was insane
In the GOP, the race was intense
To see which one could build the highest border fence
Fred Thompson really hated to campaign

Then Iowa went Obama-Huck
While everyone went, "what the fuck?"
Hillary was soundly trounced
Musta been that Oprah bounce!

There was a scramble then as every Dem
Realized the Clintons did not own them
But who was Edwards calling at 3 a.m.?
In this, Campaign '08

And they were singin'
Hi hi to the next primary
Then New Hampshire went to Clinton when she had a good cry
Bill mentioned Jesse Jackson down in South Caroli
While at caucuses they barely did try
And delegates were startin' to fly

It was on at last, no one had a doubt
Especially after Romney let the dogs out
Ohio evened up the score
Olbermann took Clinton down a peg
While Chris Matthews felt a thrill up his leg
And meanwhile, apparently McCain was in the war....
HRC did time on the shooting range
While Obama ate waffles for a change
The race was feelin' tight
Thanks to Jeremiah Wright!

Obama fought back every ruma
While Hillary bred every PUMA
And we wondered, what IS the deal with Huma?
In this Campaign '08

Then we were singin'
Bye bye to the primaries gone by
As the math stacked up against her Hil'ary said do or die
While Obama's cash poured in an endless supply
And then suddenly, beneath a June sky
Hillary bid her race goodbye....

Now here we are at the DNC
With Obama poised to be the next Kennedy
With Sasha, Malia and Michelle
But he must still fight off McCain's attacks
And bring in a certain 18 million cracks
Before he sends Bush and his cronies straight to hell....
Debates and ad wars he must win
All with a smile and a flag pin
The GOP will drub ya
With a certain P-O-Dubya

I'm Canadian and I cannot vote
But I can't help thinking I might gloat
If a certain someone rocks the vote
Obama in '08

He'll enter singing...
Bye bye to eight Bush years gone by
Finally change will have its moment and the future can fly
And Barack will take White House with a rallying cry
And then finally a change will be nigh
And then finally a change will be nigh

They'll all be singing...
Bye bye to eight Bush years gone by
Finally change will have its moment and the future can fly
And Barack will take White House with a rallying cry
'Cause we'll finally bid those the Bush Years goodbye!

Update: Glynnis has the video up at FishbowlNY.