Dear American: A Letter From The Ministry Of The Treasury

The crisis in the financial markets has been hitting everyone of late, even the rapier wits at the blog Kissing Suzy Kolber, whose day of making enjoyably vicious fun of the National Football League was interrupted when they received an email from a pleading Henry Paulson.

DEAR AMERICAN:

I NEED TO ASK YOU TO SUPPORT AN URGENT SECRET BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP WITH A TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF GREAT MAGNITUDE.

I AM MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY OF THE REPUBLIC OF AMERICA. MY COUNTRY HAS HAD CRISIS THAT HAS CAUSED THE NEED FOR LARGE TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF 800 BILLION DOLLARS US. IF YOU WOULD ASSIST ME IN THIS TRANSFER, IT WOULD BE MOST PROFITABLE TO YOU.

I AM WORKING WITH MR. PHIL GRAM, LOBBYIST FOR UBS, WHO WILL BE MY REPLACEMENT AS MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY IN JANUARY. AS A SENATOR, YOU MAY KNOW HIM AS THE LEADER OF THE AMERICAN BANKING DEREGULATION MOVEMENT IN THE 1990S. THIS TRANSACTIN IS 100% SAFE.

THIS IS A MATTER OF GREAT URGENCY. WE NEED A BLANK CHECK. WE NEED THE FUNDS AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE. WE CANNOT DIRECTLY TRANSFER THESE FUNDS IN THE NAMES OF OUR CLOSE FRIENDS BECAUSE WE ARE CONSTANTLY UNDER SURVEILLANCE. MY FAMILY LAWYER ADVISED ME THAT I SHOULD LOOK FOR A RELIABLE AND TRUSTWORTHY PERSON WHO WILL ACT AS A NEXT OF KIN SO THE FUNDS CAN BE TRANSFERRED.

[Read the rest, here.]

Comments

[joebaggadonuts]

Sometimes one cannot see the truth but through comedy because the truth is so painful.

[AmericasMostGangsta]

Appeasing big oil wasn't enough. Big Telecom and the constitution had to be milked. Then the neat little money pump that is Iraq. But that still isn't enough. Bush and his cronies have found a way to control and raid the entire treasury.
Right at the source. No more little pumps needed to siphon money away. Now it is direct from the source.

[ggirl00]

LOL! This reads like every piece of spam-mail that I've received from Nigeria. I love the ALL CAPS. This is exactly how this bailout plan reads to me ... like a scam of epic proportions.

[schatsie]

Rolling on the floor laughing my ass off, go global with this! NOW!!!

[steven]

The New and Improved Republican game

'GRAND THEFT TREASURY"

The "BANKSTERS" vs the American tax payer