Alec Baldwin's Book Tour: Crowded And Conflicted

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HILLEL ITALIE | 09/23/08 10:20 PM | AP

I Like ItI Don’t Like It

NEW YORK — Alec Baldwin, at a bookstore event he says he didn't want to attend, gave a fired up talk Tuesday night about a book he says he didn't want to write.

A standing room only crowd of more than 100, plus about 20 protesters outside, came to a Barnes & Noble in Manhattan, where the award-winning actor discussed "A Promise to Ourselves," a new memoir about his devastating divorce and child custody battle.

"I wish I weren't here. I wish I weren't doing this," Baldwin, 50, said at the beginning of a 20-minute discourse on family law and feminism, with references to civil rights, the Wall Street crisis, Beverly Hills lawyers and the notorious voicemail he left in 2007 with his then-11-year-old daughter, Ireland.

Wearing a dark blue blazer, a light blue shirt and no tie, his hair grayer and spikier than it usually appears in public, Baldwin spoke emotionally, compulsively, promising "This is the last thing I'll say" often enough that he finally joked, "I know, I said this before."

His book tells of his split with actress Kim Basinger, and his estrangement from their daughter, brought about, he says, by a court system that effectively drains both soul and pocketbook.

Baldwin's talk was held near the restaurant from which, Baldwin writes in his book, he slipped away last year during dinner and phoned his daughter. Failing, as he had for days, to reach her, Baldwin "snapped" and exploded, calling Ireland a "rude, thoughtless little pig." After the tape was leaked to the media, his private tantrum turned into a public fiasco that left Baldwin feeling suicidal for weeks.

His remorse remained Tuesday night, and so did his anger. "Who gained from that?" he asked of the tape's public airing. The entire incident, he said, was designed to "humiliate people," to embarrass and to taunt.

Baldwin took no questions, but he did respond to members of the Voices of Women Organizing Project who marched and chanted on the Broadway corner in front of the store. They were opposing Baldwin's defense of Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), a controversial theory about how one parent, often the father, is effectively demonized by the other parent, with the child's help.

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"It's junk science, and has not been validated or supported," said Kalima DeSuze, lead organizer of the women's group, which advocates for victims of domestic violence.

Inside, Baldwin acknowledged the protesters, agreed with most of their arguments, but said they failed to explain "how they would like to stop women who falsely accuse men." He then offered a brief history of the feminist movement, saying nothing would have been achieved without "the support of men, open-minded men," and that their help was needed now.

Baldwin, who on Sunday won a best supporting actor Emmy for "30 Rock," writes in his book of meeting Basinger in 1990 and being impressed by her determination to succeed on work and talent alone. "It was this quality, more than any other, that most attracted me to her," he recalls.

They were married in 1993, but their relationship never recovered from Basinger's own courtroom horror _ a breach of contract lawsuit after she left the production of "Boxing Helena" that shattered her financially and emotionally. Ireland was born in 1996 but the couple divorced in 2001.

"Things," Baldwin wrote, "began to change rapidly."

On Tuesday, fans began lining up hours before his reading and many were turned away. The audience was male and female, young and old, with a few police by the doors and in the back, in the corner, fellow actor Richard Dreyfuss.

"I liked it," he said after Baldwin's talk. "What's not to like?"

NEW YORK — Alec Baldwin, at a bookstore event he says he didn't want to attend, gave a fired up talk Tuesday night about a book he says he didn't want to write. A standing room only crowd of mo...
NEW YORK — Alec Baldwin, at a bookstore event he says he didn't want to attend, gave a fired up talk Tuesday night about a book he says he didn't want to write. A standing room only crowd of mo...
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As a lawyer and an author, REMARRIED WITH CHILDREN, I have witnessed the extreme bias against men in divorce and custody cases. That is not to say that there aren't some serious deadbeat dads, but those cases usually involve non-payment of alimony and child support.

The overwhelming bias against men seeking joint custody is a result of a very flawed system of justice. Too many judges, particularly women judges, who have developed antipathy to men, are allowing their own personal experiences to override what parties are entitled to--a good judicial temperament.

More importantly, children need contact with both parents, and unless there is abuse, the courts should do everything possible to keep fathers in the picture.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:20 PM on 10/22/2008
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Speaking as a female, we are just as capable of being downright evil, just like men. We are capable of the alienation campaigns and manipulation of our children's minds just like men.

I've seen this ugly divorce and custody case play out and you just simply can't deny that Alec is telling the truth. He's just not a liar. We all know what liars look like (Palin/McCain) and I just don't get that from him.

He's eloquent and well informed. I'm sorry he's had to go through this for the last 8 years. I am planning on buying his book for my brother, whose ex is a crazy manipulative you-know-what and abuses the system in every way.

This stuff DOES happen to men. It's real. The system as, in a sense, given women too much power without proper oversite as Alec has mentioned parents should have in the divorce process. Thanks for speaking out Alec, I truly admire your courage. I wish I could've met you at the book signing. You are making a difference.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:22 AM on 09/26/2008
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I am the MOM of a child who was subjected to PAS. Even though I had custody, my daughter's father and stepmother tried to badmouth me to get custody, when she was down to visit him on weekends. so i believe in PAS

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:34 PM on 09/24/2008

A child can be alienated from a parent even when the parent live together!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:07 AM on 09/25/2008

Harriett,

The parents that hire lawyers that charge $600 an hour to clog up the courts with senseless cases give them that right! Alec is the BIGGEST filer of such senseless cases! He uses the courts to control and harrass Kim through the child! He filed contempt because Kim did not NOTIFY HIM when she took a trip out of town. He filed another contempt because Kim didn't inform him that Ireland sustained an injury that required medical attention. If he wants to be so involved and informed about his daughter why doesn't he live in California where his daughter lives? Alec is a controller/abuser.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 05:46 PM on 09/24/2008

There are always 2 sides to a story. Alec says Kim moved from NY to CA. How was she able to do that with joint custody? How did the tape get out that he left for his daughter. It was vicious and I'm not condoning it but Kim, the lawyer and Ireland only had access to it. I don't think Ireland called TMZ. If he has joint custody, how can Kim take a vacation out of town without notifying him? That makes no sense to me. How can Ireland's phone be off the entire vacation and he couldn't get in touch with her? I've seen these silly games played by the custodial parents.

I have worked with fathers and have seen one law firm teach fathers how to get joint custody, visitation and/or handle support issues. I'm a mother and I've seen some women play mental games with their children and the fathers. Not all fathers are innocent either but women get more custody.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:47 PM on 09/24/2008
- MiraMcB I'm a Fan of MiraMcB 4 fans permalink

Mr. Baldwin has, in times past, tried to take the higher road and ignore a multitude of transgressions of court orders perpetrated by his ex-wife. This tack gained him nothing as Ms. Bassinger and her attorneys viewed this as a sign of weakness and strove to drive the nails in further than ever. He had, just a few weeks prior to the release of the notorious phone tape, actually forgiven her once again and opted to not follow through on a contempt charge that could very well have landed Ms. Bassinger in jail. Let no good turn go unpunished...

You seem to think it's a capital offense for Mr. Balwin to want to be notified if the custodial parent is out of town or the child is injured in some way. His orders specify that, if the custodial parent is unavailable, the child's custody automatically falls to him and should be remanded to him, not left in the care of nannies. What parent would not want to be notified INSTANTLY if their child was injured? These are just a couple of examples of instance upon instance when Ms. Bassinger has flagrantly defied the orders and put herself in contempt for the sole purpose of depriving Mr. Baldwin opportunities to parent his child.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:05 PM on 09/24/2008
- MiraMcB I'm a Fan of MiraMcB 4 fans permalink

Mr. Baldwin travels religiously from NY to LA every other weekend at great personal expense and inconvenience to be with his daughter, often arriving to discover he would be denied access to her at the last minute over some petty minutia or trumped up legal maneuvering. Daily phone contact, as part of his court orders, are systematically interferred with - the line directed automatically to voicemail at the appointed times for him to speak with his child. Add to all this the constant drip-drip-drip of negative commentary about him from the mother, designed to instill fear, trepidation and loathing in a young child. How cruel is this? And his only crime has been to try to be a loving father to his only child. How cruel is this?

I wish Mr. Baldwin the very best in his endeavors. His love and commitment are rare things in this day and age. BTW, WIntrywood, if you had bothered to do your homework, you would know that, for a long period of time, Mr. Baldwin DID live in California, just a few doors down. That was after Ms. Bassinger removed the child from Baldwin home in NY. Mr. Baldwin's proximity did nothing to improve his ability to see and interact with his daughter on a regular basis, thanks to Ms. Bassinger. Eventually, he was forced by financial pressures to move back to NY to better pursue his career and earn some money to offset the over 3 Million dollars in legal fees.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:12 PM on 09/24/2008
- Topfeeder I'm a Fan of Topfeeder 35 fans permalink

Anyone that has ever heard one of their parents criticize the other parent with the intent to drive a wedge between the absent parent and child has seen the tip of the iceberg of parent alienation syndrome. It is real and it damages all involved, the children to the most extent. It is a flawed person that needs to attempt to ruin the relationship of a child and other parent. That relationship should be sacrosanct. Thankfully, judges, mediators and family therapists are starting to understand the intricacies of this phenomenon. And yes, the only people that benefit from PAS are the lawyers.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 03:15 PM on 09/24/2008
- mergina I'm a Fan of mergina 93 fans permalink
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I sure hope someone wrote it for him cause, damn.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:36 PM on 09/24/2008

Baldwin has his issues but I'm with him on the family court issue and the parent alienation. Lawyers have taken over this country. Who gives any profession the right to charge $600/hr? To clog up the courts with senseless cases? It is well known that Basinger has emotional/mental issues. However, to allow a child to absorb those parental issues is unfair to the child. I hope Ireland grows up without any dysfunction.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:15 AM on 09/24/2008

I agree that the courts are clogged with senseless cases, but who are you to question what someone should charge for their services?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 04:04 PM on 09/25/2008

He's a beyond brilliant actor and a very complicated man. I do wish he could enjoy his success more.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:35 AM on 09/24/2008
- rzan1 I'm a Fan of rzan1 58 fans permalink

I have no doubt that Alec Baldwin loves his daughter more than anything. I do hope their relationship is intact and that he is able to see her. I have trouble taking sides here because I like both Kim Basinger and Alec Baldwin. But I am looking forward to reading his book. I also want to say that Baldwin is one of the best actors out there. I am not a 30 Rock fan, but I hope he will appear in other projects.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:24 AM on 09/24/2008
- SKonnery I'm a Fan of SKonnery 4 fans permalink

I liked him very much in the "Hunt for Red October" and wish he would have continued in the lead of the Tom Clancy novel movies. I more I see of him the more I like him. I also like that he is willing to speak his mind regardless to the powers to be. Having been divorced I relate to what he is saying about the process.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:12 AM on 09/24/2008
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