Late Night Jokes Of The Week: McCain's Age & Poll Numbers, Palin's Hunting & Kids' Names

Late night jokes took center stage this week, with David Letterman going all out against John McCain and Craig Ferguson railing against McCain for suspending the democratic process.

But there was still more to enjoy. Both Jimmy Kimmel and Jay Leno joked about McCain — Kimmel hits him on his age, Leno on his sinking poll numbers, while Stephen Colbert, Conan O'Brien, and Jon Stewart all laughed at Sarah Palin (Colbert about hunting, Conan about Alaska's minority population, and Stewart on her New York trip and her kids' names). That, and more Great Moments in Presidential Speeches from David Letterman, below:

Comments

[theone718]

One fault of Obama is that he isn't very funny when it comes to jokes about him. He doesn't have many leads.

[jlc0426]

John Stewart is my hero!

[swift goat pet for truth]

Who thinks grumpy old codger Mc Cain will make it into Letterman's monologs this week?

[Bocado]

"Horsesh!t they won't".

[JodyMcg]

Letterman has said that his writers actually tried to come up with something to pick on about Obama and Biden... but guess what there isn't ANYTHING. Not compared to the RNC candidates putting their feet in their mouthes everyday and pulling political STUNTS, using bad judgement and with Palin there is such a laundry list to go after the JOKES WRITE THEMSELVES. If it wasn't the fact that she could actually become President of the United States it would even be funnier... but it's scary/funny not so much haha/funny.

[gazissax]

Maybe Letterman should apologize to the public for this. :)

[helpusa]

Maybe McBush should apologize and drop out, along with his half wit VP choice.

[mafina]

McCain was the rude guest. Country first McCain made a big fiasco about having to suspend his campaign for the bailout proposal. Today, he goes straight to his office and conducted business via telephone. It was always McCain first.

[DFL]

THIS FALL DONT VOTE FOR ANYONE FROM THE KEATING 5

[Bushwillresign]

Or anyone being sued for firing her brother-in-law's boss for not firing her brother-in-law.

[helpusa]

Or anyone who believes in witches, and that dinosaurs existed just 4,000 years ago.

[bipolar2]

** Of course Palin is an ultra-right religious fanatic **

• Palin's plan for you -- especially for women

Welcome to "Gilead." Once part of America, it is a nation controlled by fundamentalists and their transnational corporate overlords. (Search: dominionism)

In The Handmaid"s Tale, Canadian novelist Margaret Atwood evokes a dystopia where women have been stripped of all rights. Gilead is Ameristan, christian Taliban included. (DVD: IMDb.com/title/tt0099731)

• Ameristan - growing an ignorance base

The US is an aberration among developed nations in its affinity for xian enthusiasms and in its failure to accept basic truths like evolution. A plurality of Americans think that evolution does not take place. http://pewforum.org/surveys/origins//)

A nation overwhelmingly god-fearing also overwhelmingly rejects science. Millions lack a critical intelligence to evaluate the garbage they stuff into their brains.

Palin belongs to them. Her disinformed science -- dinosaurs and humans walked together -- and bloated ego reinforce each other. She is a throwback to the mental and moral world before Darwin.

• Poisoning society in end-of-days madness

Palin's sexual ideology is pro-mass-death: creating disease, poverty, and ignorance by fostering overpopulation, damning safe non-reproductive sex, and blocking responsible medical research.

She espouses ideological madness. Dominionism is a toxic ersatz for public policy, domestic and foreign. The mythic culture-hero Jesus is coming back very soon -- a 2,000 year old lie. McCain/Palin = Bomb Iran/Apocalypse Now! These moral monsters are bouyed by their interlocking death-centered delusions.

[longislandlol]

Is havin an affair of the heart with your husband's business partner part of this mix?

[Indieguy]

You'll have to ask Jimmy Carter because he admitted that he "lusted in his heart". I've lusted in my heart so many times I'm sure I'm going to hell.

[Indieguy]

I know, because I come from a family of evangelicals who believe in the literal tanslation of the Bible. In their world intellectualism = heresy, sex is dirty and as one of my cousins told me, I'm going to hell. I always did prefer warmer climates.

[EuroAmerican]

No jokes about the Obama and Biden? They haven't made fool of themselves!

[kassandrasduplex]

Why no jokes about Biden and Obama? In Hollywood there is an old saying, 'Any publicity is good publicity.­' In politics, name recognition is everything.

[gopSTEALSyourTAXmoney]

They are not baffoons who are tryng to sell b.s. --------that's why!

[Hillrick]

McCain was a lulzcow this week, name recognition doesn't do much good if what's associated with it is becoming a national joke.

[gazissax]

The name Obama is well known across the land. The moderates and liberals love him, the neo-conservatives are shaking in their boots.

[BillyT]

"any publicity is good publicity" only if you are sell-out whores for spotlight like Paris Hilton.

Obama and Biden I am sure would disagree with that.

And ask McCain if any publicity, including Troopergate, McCain's gambling connections, Keating 5, "fundamentals are strong," McCain/Palin's falling poll numbers, anytime Palin opens mouth and we find both feet already shoved in....ask McCain if these constitute good publicity.

[instarx]

I think Palin named Track after a snow machine track, and Trig after a gun trigger. Doesn't anyone find it weird that she names her kids after machine parts? She better stop having kids because I can see itcoming: Piston Palin, Pedal Palin (girl), and the twins Spark and Plug Palin.

[deliriousgod]

Tarp palin

[mafina]

Maybe Reformer Palin. Maverick Palin, Russia Palin.

[caterpol]

You literally brought tears to my eyes. Thank you. You should that one in to Jon Stewart!

[gazissax]

Yo-yo Palin.

[SeaBoatbuilder]

Field Palin.

[devadasi]

Trig & Track?! OY!

[mafina]

Trig for trigger, Track for jogging track, Bristol for city in Alaska, Piper, for aircraft. Wow now that is creative. Maybe Bristol will name her child McCain or Barracuda.

[nonconformist2]

After the debate next Thursday between Palin and Biden, I predict her support will tank. Even those inclined to like her will have to admit that she is not qualified for the position.

[phae100]

Tank Palin.

[Seven7s]

I love those Great Moments In Presidential Speeches bit. They always make me cringe but make me laugh also. It's weird.

[instarx]

Cringe? Why? They were all great except the last one.

[Larkinvos]

I'd laugh, if I weren't already crying.

[demfriend]

That McCain dissed Letterman no matter what channel he is on was an insult to them all as it showed that McCain has no respect for and he could do waht he did to Letterman without any thought nor concern. The Snub was much bigger than the McCain knew it would be. Also it was clear that McCain was willing to hang any one of them out for the "better" interview. That the GOP and McCain somehow thought that the cable channels are not conncected because they are at different addresses insulted them all too as they are a phone call away from each other and they do call each other when they know one is being insulted to make sure they get the same if it happens to them. Also the talk shows will know what they can expect if they book McCain in the future. He will go with the show he believes with be the best for him and have not one ounce of respect for the one he was supposed to be on. Palin same as and will do the stepford for the GOP and McCain too so both will find their desired guest status down the loo...

[lynettema]

It wasn't so much the snub as it was the lie McC told. McC should have just manned up and told Dave the truth. Dave wouldn't have like that either, but I don't think he would have gone off on McC like he did if McC could have told the truth. But as I think about that, I don't think truth is a part of McC's character.

[Zeev]

it was a stupid move. Who actually watches Katie Couric? How many more people watch Letterman?

[wallygator]

Letterman,s "Hey John! Can I give you a ride to the airport?" should have been in that clip.

[Snow97]

Judith Warner, in a column for The New York Times, wrote that Sarah Palin -- seated next to Henry Kissinger -- was in over her head and knew it. Palin didn't look much more at ease or confident with any other world leaders -- and that showed, too.

For all of her bravado and her saber rattling about things she never, before August, gave much thought to, Sarah Palin really is still just a small-time politician. Watching her with foreign leaders (the McCain Campaign knew better than to let us HEAR what was going on) made me cringe because she never looked more like the setup to a late-night comedian's joke than she did, then.

I take offense at the comparison of Sarah Palin to Disney mommies. Disney mommies, above all others, would have had the common sense to know their limitations. THEY would have "blinked" when asked to run for vice president of an ailing world superpower and would have had the humility and self-awareness to say, No, not now. Maybe after I've had a few years to learn about the issues and learn about what I can bring to the country. But not now, not just to be your trophy vice.

It isn't sexist to say that clueless people -- of either sex -- should know enough about their cluelessness to stay away.

[johjac]

Excellently stated! Thank you Snow97!

[WhoIsJohnGalt42]

isn't one of her kids named Trig? given Palin's tenuous grasp of science anyone wanna bet that there isn't anyone in the old Palin homestead who knows Trig(onometry) is a 4,000 year old branch of mathematical study originating from navigation and astronomy ... much less ever cracked open a Trig book and scratched out a few tangent functions around the kitchen table.

oh, wait ... sorry ... i forgot math, the fundamental 'language' of the universe, is like, totally elitist.

[SolarPowerGuy]

Hmmm. All this time, I've been assuming that "Trig" is short for "Trigger." To paraphrase Jon Stewart: 'You know, it means 'something you shoot somebody with...' "

But you think it's short for "Trigonometry?" Oh, those wily Republicans. We've misunderestimated them once again!

[WhoIsJohnGalt42]

oh no. i am sure it is far more likely to be short for "Trigger" than "Trigonometry". i just like the delicious irony.

[GilScott-HeronFan]

I think Mr and Mrs P named the kid after Roy Rogers' horse. Or the deodorant brand. Poor kid.

[Bitsko]

4,000 years old? That's just 2,000 years less than the age of the universe! Cool!

[dolphy]

I went to the Asian art museum and saw 5000 year old pottery. Humans learned really fast. They invented pottery within 1000 years. Wow!!

[peterdangit]

Trig is from trigger, not trigonometry

[WhoIsJohnGalt42]

oh no. i am sure it is far more likely to be short for "Trigger" than "Trigonometry". i just like the delicious irony

[watchingthings]

Hopalong Cassidy's horse was named trigger too.

[instarx]

4,000 years old. it was probably created to calculate the trajectories of rocks that the cavemen were throwing at the dinosaurs. At least that's what Palin's end-time's religion believes.

-------
Palin - only two letters different than Stalin! Coincidence?

[timmmahhhh]

Hmmm...Len­in, Stalin, Palin, interesting.