Random Palin Interview Generator Even Better Than The Real Thing

Hey, everyone! Are you fascinated by the campaign process, and looking for an insider's perspective on the sort of debate prep Joe Biden is undergoing? Have you been watching these Katie Couric interviews, and are interested in how to do some "gotcha" journalism of your own? Or do you simply have a keen interest in what the world would be like if a series of completely plausible yet entirely dumbassed events conspire to make Sarah Palin the President, of these United States? Well, via Panopticist, we bring you news of a website that answers all of these queries.

Interview Sarah Palin takes web users deep inside the process of asking, and receiving answers from Sarah Palin. By randomly scrambling various talking points, Palinisms, and other seemingly pointless utterances, the website simulates a highly accurate exchange between an unseen member of the East Coast media elite and Alaska's Next Top Aerial Huntress, so much so that Lorne Michaels needs to add the URL to the closing credits of Saturday Night Live or something.

The website puts an entirely plausible question to "Palin," like: "What is the role of the US in Iraq and Afghanistan?" You know, really tricksy liberal stuff! And from there, it composes a Palin answer, such as:

Afghanistan will lead to further security of our best interests to fight against a regime, especially Iran, who would seek to protect the good guys are the good guys are the good guys are the ones who say Israel is a very small percentage of Islamic believers who are extreme, and they do not like the idea though of taxpayers being used to talk about, America being the beacon of light and hope for those who maybe came from a background of, you know, first, Fannie and Freddie, different because quasi-government agencies there where government had to step in there. I was able to commit to never again.

From there, as the "interviewer," you may move on to another question, or you can - as people like Couric and Charlie Gibson have discovered is almost a necessity - continue to pose the same question, over and over again, yielding results like:

Afghanistan will lead to further security of our economy. Helping the it's got to flow into our domestic markets first. As for that VP talk all the all the dealings within the party. The same it applies for the other party. Trying to get people to understand what he's been talking about the need to be considered also. But again, it's got to have all options in order to stop the terrorists and stopping them over there. do not believe in American ideals. And they attacked us. And now we are a free and we are able to commit to never again.

It's really quite perfect. Now, all that needs to be done is for someone to construct a robot that yells "War Hero!" while giving copious thumbs up, and the GOP will have a ticket that could possibly flirt with passing a Turing test.

Comments

[larry278]

It's word salad from Sarah. Would it be served with moose hash?

[reelcobra]

Great news that our girl Gwen Ifill is in the tank for Obama and moderating tomorrow night's debate.

I have never had more fun watching our media determine the outcome of our elections!

If that ain't healthy for democracy, I don't know what is!

It's great to be "progressive"!

(I just hope normal Americans stay asleep).

BHO '08!!

[Kanekealolo]

Indistinguishable from the real thing.

[paragrafH]

Hey Jason, Please follow up on what your colleague, Jed Lewison, posted tonight on Palin's debating skilled in the Alaska governor's race. She sounds astonishingly articulate! What's your take on the differences between known-quantity Alaska vs well, the rest of the world?

[ckt]

please add 'shore up the economy' to the list of Palinisms and exPalinations.

[Jan2009]

Loads of Palinese available in the Sarah Palin Dictionary.

[teacheng]

Don't get overconfident just cause WE can see what a nightmare Palin is. We must keep spreading this knowledge to everyone in the country. People still love her.

This person must not be allowed anywhere near the White House. Our complacency might let it happen.

[GiannaX]

What person with an IQ over 10 could "love" Sarah Palin, in the context of Vice President/President of the United States?!

[grailknight]

I fear many of the 49.5% of the electorate who loved George Walker Bush.

[Smirk]

Those who "love" her are responding to her emotionally and, if they have any worries about her being suited for the job, they comfort themselves with the belief that the duties of the vice president are limited to breaking ties in the Senate and attending funerals. They're conveniently ignoring the fact that a VP primary duty is to be ready to lead in a crisis and at a moment's notice.

[AussieJim]

LightSword said: Alright, you guys are getting annoying...
thought to self: 'Damn! Only getting? Gotta improve my game.'

[AussieJim]

Further security of our economy needs Palin speak to, you know, further flow into our domestic markets.
For the security of seeing Russia from a back porch covered in pretty flags vote Republicanwise.
A snowmobile in every garage and a moose in every pot.
A foot in every mouth and a salmon sexing scientist in every river.
America needs Palin like a wolf needs a helicopter so you New York guys can get out there and stuff your election hole with bunches of fancy schmancy liberal paper but us here in the real America will bang the rocks together and steam.

(How about Drowning Polar Bear Palin?)