David Gergen's Not-So-Secret Admirer, Blowing Him A Kiss On National Television

"I'm In Love With David Gergen" professed a headline on yesterday's Daily Beast. The fetching, demure young woman in the photo beside the headline: comedian Jessi Klein, she of Comedy Central, VH1, CNN and umpteen comedy showcases on both coasts. Quoth Klein:

How do I love David Gergen? Let me count the ways.

I love his low, quiet voice. That unmodulated buttery whisper that sounds like it's elbowing its way past a cough drop that's permanently lodged at the back of his throat. You know how Bed Bath & Beyond sells those white noise machines that help you sleep? And they usually make ocean noises? I want one that's just David Gergen gently muttering about the economy.

I love the way Gergen makes me feel calm, even when he's making dire predictions about the future of our country. I love the way he knows everything and then formulates an opinion about everything that's always right. I love that his eyebrows only move when he gets mad, and I love that he almost never gets mad. I love that he looks like a handsome baked potato.

Klein tapped into a Zeitgeist — there are 9 pages of comments on her post, all agreeing and professing their secret Gergen-love. The buzz traveled straight to Anderson Cooper, who surprised Gergen with a special message from a sepcial friend. Watch below to see the handsome baked potato blush like crazy:

I think someone should stitch this on a pillow: "Thank you for being the most objective, intelligent truthful analyst on television...and for always being super hot and dreamy while you're doing it. Keep on being all adorable and Gergen-y, and we'll keep on loving you." Aw, poor Ed Rollins must've been jealous. But "Rollins-y" doesn't quite have the same ring.

Incidentally, I swear to God that I had not seen the Daily Beast post nor anything else when I Twittered thusly last night: "David Gergen is on CNN right now. Can someone remind me that I want to do a post on 'heartthrobs of the election?'" I, too, think Gergen is awesome. He's been a standout this election season, the measured voice of wisdom and authority, and Klein is right — he seldom gets mad but when he does it's worth noting.

Also, funfact: Jessi Klein is, weirdly, the FOURTH person to be featured on this blog in the last month who was in a comedy workshop with me in 2004 (though she left midway for actual gigs). The other three: Olbermann impersonator Michael Terry, Someecards.com founder Brook Lundy, and Chris Matthews-loving Hofstra-ite Jamie Frevele. That's just downright spooky.

I'm In Love With David Gergen [The Daily Beast]
"I truly do love the Gerg" [Kleintastic]

Comments

[ckfan]

I, too, adore David Gergen.

[Fran1972]

My whole family loves Gergen! My husband, mom and dad and l hush each other when he comes on. He rarely gets mad. And his voice is low and we always have to turn the TV up to hear him. But, when he talks that way it sounds more important. My 7 year old even knows who Gergen is!

Love you Gergen XOXOXO

[Clarabell]

BTW, I would trust David Gergen to be a moderator at future debates. It is a system that desperately needs overhauling.

[wowjustwow]

While I may be a Gergenista, I'm not sure I'm in love with that idea, he's still got a few too many presidential cobwebs on him for that gig, I think.

As for overhaul, I can't agree more - if everyone's so running scared by accusations of being partisan that the debates just remain stumping amplified, it's pointless.

I also miss Mark Shields. It's nice to see him pop up on PBS, I wish CNN would grab him for some kind of "reunion tour" matchups or vice-versa.

[Clarabell]

He is one of a "few good men" (journalists) out there.

[yankee452]

I can't get over how genuinely embarrassed he is !!

Its like they were teasing a ten year old :)

[Fernando]

I saw this live and it was so funny! Gergen was blushing and looked like a flattered 15 year old, truly authentic. It was funny to see him transform from a serious, even-keeled guy political commentator to a guy in love, he even looked younger!

Straight guys love Gergen too.

[ccpostman]

Take your pick...

http://www.reportercaps.com/index.htm

[Formeralaskangal]

I must confess I have thought the same thing a time or two. He is dreamy, hot and Gergen-y! It comes down to how smart he is without being arrogant. I love him! Oh, and Anderson is still my one and only "silver haired fox!"

[seachild]

Gergen is wonderful...truthfully 'fair and balanced'...she's got good taste (wink)!

too bad Anderson is well, you know...(ssshhhh)

[zenwhenicanbe2]

Gergeny! Great word

[lovethesinner]

It wouldn't be so funny if it wasn't absolutely true. He has been the most objective, honest, and fearless of political pundits on television. Where others chose to parse, he judged, decisively, without rancor, or purpose other than speaking the truth. He deserves the praise that all loyal patriots deserve. He is a man of honor to be emulated. He is what American journalism ought to aspire to be.

[eugenegerard]

I thought it would be one of his many friends from Bohemian Grove.

[Clarabell]

If he's one of "them," he sure hides it well.

[Fran1972]

No way! You have got to prove this. If so, that's scary.

[hilaritee]

LOVE HIM (INTENTIONAL CAPS LOCK)....he should sue fox news for usurping his rightful tiltle of fair and balanced! He is smart, insightful and steady...no shouting necessary (Keith Olbermann, i am lookin your way). Gergen, you are the man! in my house, my husband has learned to stop talking when Gergen speaks.....nuff said!

[hilaritee]

I LOVE HIM (INTENTIONAL CAPS LOCK)....he should sue fox news for usurping his rightful tiltle of fair and balanced! He is smart, insightful and steady...no shouting necessary (Keith Olbermann, i am lookin your way). Gergen, you are the man!

in my house, my husband has learned to stop talking when Gergen speaks.....nuff said!

[vasta]

David Gergen, Anderson Cooper, and Roland Martin.....the best of CNN

[leira07]

agreed! plus paul begala - he regularly appears as a guest and is funny, articulate and fair

[Fran1972]

I love Roland, too. My mom and I laughed so hard when he interrupted Bay Buchanan one night about some crazy thing she was having to pretend she supported because Palin opened her mouth on the campaign trail. He said, "Bay- Bay-- Come on." He was so animated and exasperated with her. I think it was either about dinosaurs living with humans or global warming being a cycle instead of human-caused. Now we say it whenever we see her on.

Too funny. Especially lately, when the Republicans know the segment's over and they take a breath and smile because they know what they are saying is just Bull$h1t for the show.

I hope we win this...