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The New Radar Online Is Titanically Awful

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Over the weekend, one of the things that Ana Marie Cox and I spent time vlogging about was the demise of Radar Magazine, and their excellent "Fresh Intelligence" blog, which mined the meat of unique, writerly voices without becoming irksome, quirksome, or shallow. We both thought it was a big loss for the interwebs, but, hey, we were a bit biased.

Happily, the new anonymous crew at Radar has started up their own Fresh Intelligence operation, which has proved definitively that Ana Marie and I were right to lament the original's demise, because in two day's time, the site's new proprietors have put forth a product that truly fails to improve upon a blank laptop screen, thickly coated in whale turds.

Consider the insipid writing of their two-days-late Amy Poehler item:

Where in tarnation was Amy Poehler on SNL this weekend update?!

Why, she was off popping a babe!

Baby Mama Amy is a real baby mama!

Riffing on the child's name, Archie, the dimwit who wrote this piece concludes, "Can Jughead be far behind?" Oh, yes, HAHAHAHA, gotta love that effortless display of cultural currency.

But look, the new goal at RadarOnline is to become some sort of competitor of TMZ, stocked with empty-calorie celebrity fluff. There's a market for that, I guess, but you have to wonder how far they're going to get when they flub basic geography and they cannot even get their subjects' names spelled correctly:

For the record, guys? Hawaii is IN the United States, and it's spelled H-U-D-G-E-N-S.

But, look. If I had to sum up the first two days of New Radar, I need only present the following image:

That's just an atrocity. Indeed, Jughead, was not far behind.

Didn't He Ramble? [Alex Balk]

Hard to Kill, But Not Impossible: Finally, the End of Radar