Nervous about the election? Running out of ways to tell people how much more important the outcome is to you than it is to everyone else, and all the self-destructive things you'll do if it doesn't go your way? Never fret. If you're so exasperated with worry that you're at a loss for words, you can use our handy, "Swear To God Dude, If McCain Wins I'm Gonnna..." O-tron, full of all the drastic and empty threats a recently politically aware guy like you could ever wanna make...
