Theodore Fulton Stevens (born November 18, 1923) is a notoriously pissy, out-of-touch drama queen and U.S. senator from Alaska. He is also a dick.
Ted Stevens is best known for several things, none of them honorable. Among them: blatant unfamiliarity with modern telecommunications yet still introducing bills concerning their governance; championing very expensive, highly wasteful projects for his home state; pitching a bitchfit on the Senate floor when those projects are voted down; and bribery.