Dickipedia: Halloween

Dickipedia:

Halloween (born October 31, Ancient Gaelic times) is a former pagan ritual turned commercialized American holiday, a celebration of death and violent murder, a leading cause of childhood diabetes, and a dick.

Ever since dickish Irish immigrants arrived in North America in the 19th century with their ignorant annual tradition of begging evil spirits not to hurt them, Halloween has become the United States' second most popular holiday behind Christmas. Presently, there are few Americans who do not feel some level of social obligation to celebrate this night by wearing a mass-produced latex mask, plying local children with free sugar, or defacing a perfectly good pumpkin, leaving it to rot on their doorsteps throughout most of November.

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