Esquire Profiles "Puffy," "Jumbo," "Giant" Vince Vaughn

Esquire put "Four Christmases" star Vince Vaughn on their December issue, and inside profiled the comedy star with what some may argue an over-emphasis on his size.

VINCE VAUGHN LOOKS A LOT LIKE VINCE VAUGHN, ONLY BIGGER. He's tall enough to have to duck through doorways, as he just did, and wide enough to spend a lot of time walking sideways through tight spaces, like this steakhouse. He wears a pair of old-school Nike sneakers that could be used as war canoes. About six and a half feet higher up, his hair rises like a wave above the low-tide beach that is his forehead. (He calls it his fivehead.) His face is full, puffy enough to make him sometimes look as though he's fighting to keep his eyes open--not as though he's just woken up but as though he's never bothered to go to bed in the first place. His shirt is open at the collar, probably because it has to be. It's also open at the waist. Even from across this crowded restaurant, it's possible to see a jumbo slice of Vaughn's naked belly. It's too much to ignore, this great golden acreage, because he leads with it and because it's probably been kissed by Jennifer Aniston, standing on her tippy-toes. The man doesn't just occupy airspace; he fills it.

Like many giants, Vaughn gave up trying to hide a long time ago. (He's a regular at this restaurant, a touristy joint on the busiest stretch of Hollywood Boulevard, and he's fine with the table in the center of the room, surrounded.) Unlike most big men, however, his stature doesn't offer him any protection, leaving him twice defenseless, omnipresent without being ominous....

If, in our imaginations, there really were a star who might do that--if the public were surveyed about which actor was most likely to end up in some stranger's house after a night on the town, rummaging through the fridge and playing Wii Tennis for all his life--Vaughn would be him. Most people who saw him in Old School or Wedding Crashers or Dodgeball--most of the people in this restaurant, including the housewife who told him not to be scared when she leaned in and the guy out in the parking lot who clapped him on the shoulder like an old friend--probably caught themselves thinking, That guy's just a regular guy. That guy's just like me.

The truth is, Vince Vaughn isn't really like them. He's the biggest man in the room. And because of his size, and because he inherited from his salesman father a competitive streak as well as a knack for volume business, he is voracious in his appetites (steak and lobster and creamed spinach) and his desires (to be loved). He has an almost pathological need to please his public...

[Jon] Favreau shows up and Vaughn makes room for him on the couch. He's just wearing a T-shirt and jeans, sucking on a mint for lunch, ready to go to work. It's funny seeing them like this, the two guys from Swingers at their ten-year reunion, a little older, a little fatter, a little tired-seeming and wrung out...

And just then, Vince Vaughn looks the way a big man looks when someone stands up to him for the first time in his life. He looks like a man who knows that he can cover only so much ground, that even giants have their limits. He looks like a man who knows he will have to pick a side. He looks suddenly smaller. He still looks a lot like Vince Vaughn, only built to scale.

Read whole profile here (it's not online at Esquire)

Comments

[VictoriaCanuck]

I was also considered tall at 5'9", when growing up, and received all sorts of taunts because of it. Most of the teasing came from small minded guys that were, quite severely, suffering from "Small Man Syndrome".

I would hazzard a guess that the writer (I hesitate to say Author) has the same affliction.

Vince Vaughn rocks!

[strifeknot]

Unfunny. That's the most descriptive thing one can say about him.

[bigfro]

I know Vince is getting fat, But calling him PUFFY is a little much...

[Mattie]

I'm sorry, fat or puffy he's cute!

[Kelra]

Isn't Vince Vaughn a Republican?

[grinbast]

it's like this article is written by someone at a college paper.

[jurneeka]

I have to say this...the first word that comes to mind when thinking of Vince is: Phenomenal!

Sorely tempted to watch "Wedding Crashers" for the 2,384th time tonight. Curse you, Huffpo!

[DeeW]

That's a weird article. A lot of words to tell us he's tall.

[redsongia]

No doubt. All we learned is that the author probably got picked on a lot by big kids in school.

[Yovovi]

Seemed fine to me. The author found a theme and wove it in to her/his story. It wasn't harsh at all. I, for one, am pleased to see a focus on an actor's size, and not just an actresses, for a change. Talk to Margaret Cho or other actresses about what a double-standard there is in Hollywood. Jennifer Love Hewitt and Tyra Banks are criticized for a 10 or 20 pound weight gain, while John Travolta, Matthew Broderick and others gain the same and noone cares. How many jokes are on Conan about overweight women and none at all about heavy men. As women, we are used to the scrutiny unfortunately.

[indy87]

That's not true. For awhile, all Conan did were Ruben Studdard jokes.

[Yovovi]

OK, I stand corrected. Overwhelmingly most are about women. Right now, he is on a Kirstie Ally kick. It's really cruel.

But my point still stands.

[fleaba]

People who act like this are usually small minded people. I am 5'10" which is not a big deal for a woman these days, but back in the day there were always these idiot guys who were so intimidated by women who weren't smaller than them that they felt compelled to make horrid remarks and make up nicknames.I'm thinking this writer is sort of like those pipsqueeks at the bar who get drunk and always pick a fight with the biggest guy at the bar.
I mean it sounds like Vaughn wasn't exactly in great shape, but the focus of those paragraphs says more about the writer's insecurity than about Vince Vaughn's largesse.

[trollsbwild]

I will never say a bad word about him. He ruled in Swingers.

I would advise him to get in better shape. Not for his appearance, but for his health. Heart disease is no joke.

[MartinC]

Vince Vaughn is hot. The author is crazy

[hartkid]

The guy's a brilliant comedic actor and really is very friendly and cool to his fans. I went to his house in L.A. back in 96 or 97 and he couldn't have been more hospitable. We later went out with his girlfriend at the time, my wife and a buddy of mine from college to meet his friend, Peter Billingsly, at the Dresden Room. He was just funny and seemed genuinely interested in the people around him. I got nothing but love for the guy.

[ellawensmom]

What is the point of all this? Could it be the "writer" has a Napolean Complex?
This is sh$t. Seriously.

[piquet]

Come on you have to admit V V looks like crap these days. Like a bloated Roman squandering the disciplines that made him great. Personally I won't completely judge because I don't know how many steaks I would eat if I had the jack or all the free drinks because people "love me".
This is common with celebrities. They fall into the trap of success..see: Rachel Ray. I saw her show for the first time the other day. WTF happened to her. Talk about heavy on the sauce....jeeeezzzz.

[NathaninSeattle]

Fail. Vince Vaughn is smokin hot.

[neverdiplomatic]

I'd love to see a writer try to get away with writing an 'article' like this on Kathy Bates.

[Dannydel]

That was writing?

[VoteforOCD]

Does Kathy Bates have to duck to get through doorways?

[Hockymom]

If a female actor walked around looking as unkempt as he does most of the time she would be sent to the same island Terra Reed lives on.

[Passenger57]

Follow-up story:
"I'm at the hospital after Vince Vaughn has beaten me bloody with the latest edition of Esquire magazine...these paper cuts are pretty deep,and for a big-and-tall guy, he moved with frightening speed. He wielded the magazine like a policeman's baton,and I wonder if there actually WAS a baton hidden inside the rolled up mag..."