Wanda Sykes: "I'm Proud To be Gay"

LAS VEGAS — Comedian Wanda Sykes says the passage of a same-sex marriage ban in California has led to her be more outspoken about being gay.

"You know, I don't really talk about my sexual orientation. I didn't feel like I had to. I was just living my life, not necessarily in the closet, but I was living my life," Sykes told a crowd at a gay rights rally in Las Vegas on Saturday.

"Everybody that knows me personally they know I'm gay. But that's the way people should be able to live their lives," she said.

Sykes, who is known for her feisty and blunt style, said the passage of California's Proposition 8 made her feel like she was "attacked."

"Now, I gotta get in their face," she said. "I'm proud to be a woman. I'm proud to be a black woman, and I'm proud to be gay."

Sykes' appearance at the Las Vegas rally surprised organizers. She was in town performing at the Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino.

Comments

[yesshespeaks]

As new age-y as this sounds I believe its the truth. We are all human beings intertwined with each other, with this planet and with this universe. When we hurt the planet we ultimately hurt ourselves as well. By that same token, what hurts one section of humanity (group of people) ultimately hurts us all.

[kjstjohn]

I am detecting two points of view in the posts below.

From blacks, I hear, "do not compare blacks to gay people." From whites and gays I hear that comparisons of blacks and gays are apt.

Reading Solja's post below, I see why, from a black perspective, a comparison feels inappropriate. (Solja says it better than I ever could.)

From the perspective of a straight, white person (like me) a comparison makes sense but it is not the comparison Solja is making. What straight, white people seem to be talking about is their OWN transformation from a starting point of rejection to one of acceptance. Whites began that process with blacks starting in the 1960's, with women starting in the 1970's, and with gays starting a decade ago. The process is ongoing but it is largely the same--overcoming ingrained prejudice against others.

I hear another perspective from gays. Gays want to compare their experience with that of blacks because they feel that their sexuality is as intrinsic and as intransigent as that of race.
They feel that the harm done to them has been trivialized and they seek compassion­--especial­ly from black people who, in this country, know better than anyone else what it feels like to be brutalized and dehumanized by discrimination.

I wonder if there is a way to move forward by saying that each group's struggle is unique, but that we all learn and grow from each successive effort to lift each other up?

[houstonbch]

"I wonder if there is a way to move forward by saying that each group's struggle is unique, but that we all learn and grow from each successive effort to lift each other up?"
----------­----------­----

I agree 100%. Both issues are from disrimination. This infighting between blacks and gays is a diversion from the primary issue of denying civil rights. It would be impossible to be the same, since gay is different than black. It is fair to say one black person's experiences with discrimination would be different from anothers. What we need to focus on is ending disrimination across the board. It does not matter if you understand it, or even agree with it. Government has not place denying civil rights to anyone. The church has no right trying to dictate this. We are one nation, under God, but we also practice a seperation of chruch and state to avoid issues such as this.

As for Wanda...sh­e is black, gay and female. She must get it from every angle.

[AxelDC]

Let's see:

75% of blacks voted to ban gay marriage in California

70% of gay voters supported a black man for President

Which group seems to be the problem here?

[kjstjohn]

Therein lies some of the pain that gay people are suffering right now.

[retrorio]

It's a lot harder being gay in America than being black, at least in 2008. Gay people can be rejected by their own families for their orientation. They can't get married. They often have to hide their identity to survive in a hostile world. There's no hetero jokes, only gay jokes. Can you think of one derogatory name to call a person because he or she is heterosexual? Many people consider gay sexuality a choice and a "lifestyle", as though all gay people live the same type of lives. A gay person couldn't even be nominated for president. Undoubtedly, someone will point out that gay people were never slaves, but I respond that no one alive now was ever a slave, whereas gay people are still suffering now. So you're right, we shouldn't compare being black to being gay. Gay people experience much more prejudice.

[stepintothelight]

Gay people are not stopped on the street for being gay by the police.
There is no such thing as "driving while gay".
Gay people do not get red lined by real estate companies.
When a Gay person walks into an interview the interviewers mind does not change.
I know many Gay people who are getting through the practicals of life by "passing as straight" ... Try doing that if you are black.

Again ... every human deserves to be loved and has the right to live life to the fullest but as long as someone compares my melanin level to someones method of o r g a s m I will hold my support in silence!!! The gay community must understand that the offense of this logic is deteriorating any support they may find in the AA community.

[Moshe]

Sure. Black people are easier to identify by sight. No argument there.

But once people find out a gay person is gay, the bigotry is every bit as real.

Same with being Jewish. I can "pass" very easily.

When the bigots find out I'm Jewish though their bigotry is just a real (I don't recommend, for example, driving through Mississippi with a yarmulke).

But I really don't think we need to argue over who is the greatest victim of ignorance and discrimination.

What do you say we all work together to stop it instead.

Shalom to all.

[Giada]

My mother worked for the Civil Rights movement and for NOW, founding a chapter in California. I have a gay son.

I understand some of the similarities and differences.

At a baseline for all humanity we need to be seen and we need to be heard. Any community that rejects a group causes trauma and pain to both the individuals and the group, oftentimes enough to last a lifetime.

We do carry the pain and shame of our cultures. Black children hear the stories from parents and grandparents. I know the pain from my Italian family who were treated shabbily as they came through Ellis Island, and suffered abuse at the hands of the Catholic church.

I know my son's pain ... he leads a simple, normal life, yet is thought of as a deviant.

I'm a champion of overturning Prop 8, our current, very diverse president, and Wanda Sykes ...bottom line equality, human rights.

[Zofomofo]

Not all Gay people can pass as straight.

[M1]

I was a cop and you are wrong. You get to know the sub-cultures in their dress and the clubs they frequent. Gays were stopped for being Gay...all the time. The male officers often treated Lesbians inappropriately while conducting Frisks.

I say this not to make a comparison to driving Black or being black. Rather, just to let you know what goes on.

[rudedog1950]

Try being fat! Talk about discrimination!

[Damaven]

Wow, it's amazing how one group is always willing to be the greatest sufferer of prejudice. Are there any gay racists out there, on any side. You love 'em for your cause then kill 'em for cause.

[care4mypeeps]

Suffering is Suffering no matter who it is. We need to be careful that we are not the ones
doing the hurting.

Insensitivity is the cruel taskmaster that exercises control over those who have been taken in its grip.

Damaven loosen your grip and dare to care.

[Ohioliberal]

Again I ask the question - Ok Wanda why was it important for me to know about your "preferences?" maybe I'm old fashion but how and with whom you get your "freak on" really shouldn't be my business or concern. What am I to do with this information?

[kjstjohn]

The more celebrities that come out, the more normal and acceptable gays will seem to the mainstream. Do you think that is untrue?

[Lefty08]

No. This is true. Not just celebrities either...t­he gay cause will be better served if everyone came out.

[svejkist]

Umh... RTFA.

[Zofomofo]

You are supposed to wake the hell up and realize that people like you who get their little minds tweekedd when some one discusses a mundane fact about themselves, because you are really just pretending to not be an arrogant and selfish person who can actually live their life knowing they live in a society that treats some people like second class citizens or worse.
She brought it up because a large group of people are politically taking another gorup of peoples rights away. Can you think of a better reason?

[Zofomofo]

Oh and FYI it is not a preference. Are you saying that you are completely comfortable having sex with someone of the same sex and you only choose the opposite because it is a preference of yours?

[Zofomofo]

Oh and FYI it is not a preference. Are you saying that you are complete comfortable having sex with someone of the same sex and you only choose the opposite because it is a preference of yours?

[weatherwaxx]

Because when you automatically assume anyone is straight, it's just as offensive to gay and lesbian folks as it would be if anyone automatically assumed you were gay. Frankly, I know more than I would like to about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, and thousands of other 'celebriti­es.' I don't want to know who's getting married, divorced, or spawning. But then, I'm happily married and I don't CARE who you sleep with.

[noobian]

Proud of you, Wanda! I'm a Black heterosexual male who respects your right to love and/or marry any human being you choose.

[waxboy]

You go Wanda.

Having to come out like this took guts. People shouldn't tell others how to live. As a straight male, I couldn't care less if 2 consenting adults want to live together and get married. BFD

Those that are "holier than thou" will always want to dictate morals. Most of the time they are the most hypocrital of all humans.

[LaKane]

Wanda, your sisters support you! Stand tall! :)

[DontBeFoolish]

Who Cares! Go be gay, and be merry.

[jalowe1957]

When you talk about same-sex marriage, always remember this: There is constitutional law, there is statuatory law, and there is tradition.

Constitutional law trumps statuatory law. Statuatory law trumps tradition. And federal laws trump state statues.

Regardless of whether another celebrity comes out of the closet or speaks out on the issue, this is a can of peas that's going to get messier as time goes on.

[barriosbabe]

Tradition is not law. It's not even common law.

"Tradition going back hundreds of years states marriage is between a man and a woman."

That's bull. In some places torture, beatings and marriage with ten year olds was a tradition.

Our country is based on principles and liberties that have nothing to do with your messed up notion of the "definitio­n."

Weren't there any gay founding fathers? :::: grin ::::

[AlexandriaHeather]

Marriage was created as a way to transfer property and produce a family workforce.
It has historically been used as a way to control, punish and steal from women, and it is in that manner that this law upholds tradition; it is robbing people of living freely as they choose.

Any law that enforces inequality is an unjust law and anyone who says this is about 'family values' is in denial about their own bigotry.
People were bombarded with the most ridiculous slander of homosexual people as a threat to the modern average family. Uneducated people obviously showed up at the polls.
When will people realize that when someone is desperate to convince us that a person or a group is an evil threat that we are being manipulated, and it is the messenger that shouldn't be trusted?

[auramac]

Thank you for sharing. It's Ok- it really is.

[meshach]

So what? I'm not a lesbian and I'm not married. This person should keep her sex habits to herself. Who cares?

[GenieG]

It's a matter of support toward the gay and lesbian community
That's who cares
and the government is going to have to care , its a matter of time!
more and more celebs are going to come out

Taxes without representation

sound familiar?

[HotheadPaisen]

"Who Cares?" You see a situation wherein hundreds of millions of dollars are spent to influence and personally impact untold tens of thousands of people, their lives, homes, livlihoods and children, and you ask 'who cares'....
Utter apathy is really un-American.
You know what? We would still stand up for your rights, even as disagreeable as people as selfish as you are to a "society", we would still stand up for you.

Oh, and, being Gay or Lesbian entails a whole lot more than "sex habits".
Probably you would be offended if I sumised that your entire hetrosexual identity boiled down to who you f
Or would you....?

[Zofomofo]

Well, ignorant people who are uncomfortable with gays don't care, but everyone else does. Why? Because they are having their rights taken away.

[M1]

Too late for that ! No more Mrs. Nice Gay. The next step is to openly show affection in public as much as possible. Then we will see that this is more than just a tradition issue.

[lunarmagpie]

Why on earth are you so concerned about the "sex habits" of other people? Here's a newsflash for you: many of us in the gay community have sex lives that are every bit as boring and mundane as those in the straight community. And many people in the hetero community are into sexual practices that most of us would never consider trying. "Different strokes for different folks," as they say. What other people do between the sheets is their own business, and it really doesn't interest me.

Yet the bedroom habits of others really seems to be a focus of people who want gays to just shut up, and those who would deny us the right to legally marry the partners we love. Can you not make the distinction between love and sex?

Maybe that's the real problem with those who are so opposed to the rights of gays... they have a very skewed version of reality.

[jamjim]

I don't know if you folks have seen it, but
Wanda makes an appearance on an internet sitcom (in a strange way):

http://www.CusterAndJulius.com

[Damaven]

Keep not talking about it.

[08politicaljunkie]

How does one's sexual proclivity translate to a sense of pride? You like what you like; you want what you want. But to be proud of it?

I've never heard a heterosexual say, I'm "proud" of my sexual attraction.

Who cares who you have sex with?

[separatingwheatfromchaff]

Nobody bashes heterosexuals, it's a little different when you walk in her shoes and feel the discrimination.

[08politicaljunkie]

I've experienced discrimination for other reasons. However, none have given me sense of pride (nor of shame for that matter). They are merely physical attributes which I had nothing to do with.

[Thecuddlyleft]

I'm straight, but I can understand where gays are coming from. For so long and even today it is a thing of scorn to be gay. So yeah, to be proud of who you are is great. Also, I don't think that a lot of straights realize that being gay is more than just S.O. it's a community and a shared experience.

[mater]

How can anyone be proud of something about themselves for something they had nothing to do with creating? Whatever her color or sexual predisposition, why not be proud of honor, accomplishment, generosity, heroism, talent--those are choices for good or bad. Be proud to have made contributions to others in those areas. Being a color, being gay or straight? Every human is something, but all are not contributors to the good of every human. And frankly, I've heard your salty comments and lanuage on tv and think you still have some work to do in that area before you feel proud of yourself.

[frant52]

Really? So, people who are born with genes that afford them artistic talents, beautiful voices, skillful hands, compassion, sweet and loving personalities, or physical beauty should not be proud of these traits? Sexuality and ehnicity are genes we are born with and reason to celebrate our being who we are. One certain right should be the right to take pride in ourselves, don't you think?

[artsandminds]

Who cares, are you kidding, what an ignorant statement, in a country that bars gays from the armed services -that sounds to me like they care who "you" sleep with.

As for your indictment of Ms. Sykes being gay and proud of it, again yours is an utterly ignorant statement, in a world where many “leaders” religious and otherwise are attacking your preferences as to who you want to spend you life with and being constantly bombarded with negative stereotypes in the media and elsewhere, dam right she needs to be proud of it and show it.

You sound a lot like Palin, she “tolerates the gays”, but does not understand its about acceptance.

[08politicaljunkie]

You jumped to quite a few assumptions based on a statement and comment I made on a blog site. I didn't indict Ms. Sykes. I happen to be a fan. I just don't understand why a physical attraction to another -- regardless of gender -- is a source of pride. Also:

1) Gays are NOT barred from the military. "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" makes sexual proclivity irrelevant. I just happen to be old enough to remember when one's sex life was a private matter.

2) People of faith are experiencing quite a bit of recrimination these days. Mitt Romney was bashed because he's Mormon. Joe Lieberman deals with stuff because he's Jewish. People wouldn't accept that Barack Obama converted to Christianity. Joe Biden is still experiencing backlash because he's Catholic and a Democrat supporting Obama. Sarah Palin was called a "whacko" because of her beliefs." Bobby Jindal was openly criticised because he conducts exorcisms. In the US, Muslims are practically criminals. Republicans rejected John McCain because he's not Born Again.

Homosexuality, I thought, was accepted in the United States. My understanding is that the religious institution of "marriage" does not recognize homosexuals. However, "civil union" is an option and offers the same benefits. Because of that, what I don't understand is all the outrage.