Britney Cries: Life Is Like Jail, Groundhog Day

The UK Sun got a longer look at the Britney Spears documentary airing November 30th on MTV. The first look at the show, seen here, showed Britney saying, "what the hell was I thinking." Spears filmed the series after a year in which she got divorced, acted out in public, shaved her head and went to a psychiatric ward. She is now able to see her two sons again, but she is in the care of her father and ex-husband Kevin Federline has custody.

But all may not be as it seems. According to the UK report:

in a new fly-on-the-wall documentary she tearfully admits: "There's no excitement, there's no passion.

"I have really good days, and then I have bad days. Even when you go to jail you know there's the time when you're gonna get out.

"But in this situation, it's never ending. It's just like Groundhog Day every day."...

She says: "I think it's too in control. If I wasn't under the restraints I'm under, I'd feel so liberated. When I tell them the way I feel, it's like they hear but they're really not listening.

"If you do something wrong in your work, you can move on, but I'm having to pay for a long time.

"I never wanted to become one of those prisoner people. I always wanted to feel free."

The show premieres in the UK December 1.

Comments

[Halsey]

I think I've always felt bad for Britney....but my GOSH she's rich..and I could use some money to help me pay my cancer bills...


having said that...4 years ago...I went loopy...(I truly thought I had ALS)..I couldn't walk..couldn't think, etc. I was prescribed Zoloft..course...still couldn't walk....AND now..couldn't sleep...

FINALLY...8 months later...I took myself to an immunologist who found LYME disease...(want halucination?...get lyme).... I feel bad even for rich people with psychological problems...too many "handlers"..instead of ONE REALLY GOOD doctor who listens...instead of throwing drugs around. I'm not saying she doesn't need them..but..maybe she just needs very good counselling (and exercise and yogo etc)...very sad...probably why we hear of so many celebs..committing suicide...accidentaly usally...

[marymansour]

She has had quite a struggle. I wish her well.

[Samalabear]

What Britney is talking about here is life on and after psychotropic drugs like anti-depressants. This is what it's like and this is how I describe my life right now after six ruinous years on Paxil and a brutal two-and-half-year withdrawal. It is like Groundhog Day each day. You can be fine at night and calm but the next morning you wake up in fear and panic everyday and deep depression follows. There is no joy, no passion. Being manic and acting out on these is common. It happened to me, not Britney style, but it happened. I was only on one drug, Paxil, she was on a couple of ADs, including Paxil, and other things. There are literally thousands and thousands of us all over the world who are trying to put our lives back together post-psychotropic drugs. Most of us were prescribed these poisons to deal with loss of some kind or difficult family situations, not severe depression or anxiety. Now most of us suffer both of these and a host of other physical and mental problems.

[RedDogBear]

That was a very interesting comment. I've been thinking of going on some kind of medication for a while but I've always held back precisely because I feared it would be as you described and that once I was on them it would be even worse getting off. An ex-girl friend was on Paxil and while it helped her with her depression she was a completely different person. She didn't have mood swings anymore but all the joy seemed to be drained from her as well. Anyway, thanks for sharing that. If you know of any good web sites that describe the down side of psychotropic drugs could you post them? Good luck.

[NoSillyName]

Very strange. In the '90s I was on Prozac, then Paxil, and other SSRIs. On & off whenever I felt like it. No problems whatsoever. Didn't do much for me and "Withdrawal"? None.

[bokiluis]

Go away you no talent WT!

[HelenBach]

she needs to move back to her small town for awhile. L.A. is not real, but she thinks it is. It really is a town without pity, but her handlers are telling her everyone loves a comeback. How can britney get used to having no attention? she will be a tragic figure. like. madonna.

[PumaJ]

I agree with grailknight's comment: "Sounds like she wants to quit her meds."

Ms. Spears is going through a classic struggle for those with Bipolar Disorder, missing the excitement of the highs and lows. That struggle is the one that often is a primary cause of some folks with the illness quitting medication treatment.

My hope for her is that she doesn't let go of the normalcy and success she gets to have when her illness is treated. The greatest risk for those who stop treatment is activation of the disease leading to the very high chance of death as the result.

[OGoodGrief]

I agree with you except for one thing: it's not the lows that bipolars miss, it's just the highs. I was in a relationship with a bipolar for 20 years, most of that time he did not take any meds. He loved -- loved--loved being on the manic side of the illness. He was creative, rushed around a million miles a minute and was more productive than most people would be in a year.

He could not stand taking his meds because it dimmed...sorry, completely diminished those highs. Therefore, he elects not to take any meds. It's heartbreaking to watch someone struggle through every step of life when it could be better, but my sense of normal is not his sense of normal. And I suspect it isn't for Ms. Spears either.

I always said he was the one with the "life sentence" and it sounds like at some level Ms. Spears understands this too. Bipolar is a devastating illness. I hope the future brings more understanding and better treatment that works for everyone.

[RedDogBear]

I'm more in agreement with Samalabear. In the long term psychotropic drugs often cause more harm than they help. Happiness and sadness are normal parts of life but now rather than dealing with them as such we run for the Prozac. I realize that there are true manic depressives, I used to work in a psych hospital and I've seen them. But I've also seen lots of cases of normal people who were just experiencing the normal pain of life and got put on meds. Before you flame me in response understand I'm not knocking anyone who feels that psychotropic meds help them. I've certainly "self medicated" enough in the past and I recognize that psychotropic meds would have been better than getting drunk or high. I just think Samalabear had an excellent point that we should think long and hard before we start using them.

[relevancematters]

Perfect response. And the story plays out in show business all the time. When these people are up, they're brilliant; when they're down, they're erratic, self-destructive and impossible to reach. There is one very high profile person in Hollywood who elects not to do the meds; about every 2-3 years, she ends up in a psych ward, completely out of control. Then she comes out again and gets on with things.

Britney's real problem here is the kids. You can't be emotionally erratic and intellectually insane and get to keep your kids. Even if she only crashes every once in a while, it's only going to take once or twice for her to traumatize or endanger those children before she's denied access to them forever.

Bipolar is real, and while there are lots of ways of dealing, when you're a parent you have far fewer options.

[NoSillyName]

Do we even know if she has been diagnosed as being bipolar? Or is she just having other problems.

[OSA23]

there was a sticker that i had observed during my college days in a dorm of a friend that sums it all:

'god giveth life, and god taketh life. and what we do in between is our own god-damn business...'

britney was introduced to the 'pimping system' of the music industry when she was young. unlike madonna - britney never claimed herself for herself but allowed others to tell her where she should go and how she should go, and why she can't go this way or that way and she made many people money but she didn't have an ounce of madonna's strength and ability to have such strength in an industry that shares the same attributes with wall street:

'show me that CASH CASH CASH CASH CASH suckas...'

if britney does crash and burn then i do not blame the record 'biz' as i do blame britney for not taking the reins of her life in her own hands and ride ride ride like madonna has managed to do throughout her career and throughout her life.

to quote from the graphic novel 'the watchmen' by alan moore:

'never compromise - not even in the face of armageddon....'

[Tulka2]

Truman Capote had a story about meeting his friend, Marilyn Monroe, for lunch in New York one afternoon at the height of her popularity. They finished their meal and walked out into the daylight streets of Manhattan. Marilyn was wearing glamorous clothes and a pair of sunglasses. No one noticed her in the crowded street. Truman was a more than a little surprised and commented he was surprised. She said something like, "Oh, I can make them see me. I just have to be Marilyn instead of Norma Jean." Monroe whipped off the glasses, fluffed her hair and began to do the Monroe walk. A crown of fans quickly materialized around her. She grabbed Capote's hand and they ducked into a cab laughing. And.... this was a woman who "couldn't handle it".

Humorless and self-absorbed will not get you even a piece of happy. We are all boats who sail out into the harbour and sink. In the end, we all sink. I hope this child finds a few laughs and happy endings in between.

[NoSillyName]

I've always loved that story. If most of these "stars" didn't go around with an entourage or otherwise draw attention to themselves, nobody would even notice them on the street. They bring it on themselves.

[LMPE]

"What was I thinking?" she asks.

The real question is "What was anyone doing letting her have a career in the first place?"

[QueenOfViolets]

Let me guess -- hmmm -- maybe they let her have a career in the first place because she was wildly successful, sold tons of records, and made her record label lots of money?

Just a guess...

[Thecuddlyleft]

she was a label creation. just like miley, jonas bros. taylor swift, and many others that ride the wave of success based on looks, popularity, media, and the record label driven machine. most artist today have marginal talent, but have the right look and ability to be molded.

[LaKane]

Honestly, before I read the article, the first thing in my head was "Really, who gives a damn?"

I'm trying to channel my sympathetic side, but it's late and I think she's asleep.

[grailknight]

Sounds like she wants to quit her meds.

[rzan1]

I think she is a sweet young woman, who is just not tough enough to take on the difficulties of being famous.