Greta Van Susteren (born June 11, 1954) is a lawyer turned journalist, journalist turned TV personality, TV personality turned babbling idiot in the presence of a barracuda, and a dick. She is also one of the leading causes of Palinitis, an inflammatory condition in which the sufferer just cannot seem to rid his or her consciousness of a certain northern governor with a penchant for Manolos and moose chili. Symptoms include general irritation, intestinal discomfort, and the sudden urge to go out and buy a pair of rimless glasses. As of yet, no known cure exists.
Greta Van Susteren currently appears on the Fox News Channel. That fact alone is enough to make her a dick. In legal terms, this is referred to as dick ipsa loquitir, or "the dick speaks for itself."